I feel like I have lost a friend.

It’s always weird when a well-known actor dies. You’ve seen their face so much, heard their voice, shared laughs and cries; you “know” them so well that their passing hits you as hard as a family member. But you don’t know them. And for sure, the death affects the actor’s real family and real friends much more than it affects their reel family and reel friends.

Whatever the psychosis related to a favorite actor dying may be, it doesn’t change the fact that a person who I respected, whose talent I admired, whose work has moved and inspired me, is gone. And I must now wake up every day knowing I don’t get to see them perform anything new, ever again. And I must reconcile that fact.

I know I’m a few days late on this, I’ve had some pretty terrible computer problems, but I still wanted to share my thoughts on the passing of John Spencer (Click here to read the AP release on his death). For the four and a half seasons that The West Wing was my favorite show on television I had the pleasure of watching John Spencer create a truly terrific character, White House Chief of Staff Leo McGarry. His character was the anchor of the show, as well as the anchor of the fictional white house. He sparred with Bartlett, mentored Josh, wooed Jordan, his third season defense attorney, and battled a debilitating addiction to alcohol and pain killers. I enjoyed his character so much that when he had a heart attack in the woods in the middle of the fifth season, I had to turn the TV off because I couldn’t take it. I just could not bring myself to watch a good actor die, even if he was playing a fictional character.

I think we take certain performers for granted. You just assume that they will always be there, plugging away behind the scenes, and popping up in random projects, making their scenes the best and most entertaining of whatever project they are in. Actors like J.T. Walsh, who was arguably the best character actor of his time. Or Richard Crenna, who was so good in the Rambo series and who always put a hop in my step whenever I saw him on screen.

When big stars die I’m shocked and appropriately bummed out, but I think I’m hit harder when a lesser known actor who I really like, passes. It flat out sucks that Brandon Lee, River Phoenix and Chris Farley died before their time. And Hollywood would definitely be a far different (and possibly better) place if one or all of them were still alive. But then again, there will always be more of their type of actor. There will always be more movie stars. A good character actor is far more invaluable. They provide substance, pride, honor and hello, character, to every single movie and television show that gets produced. The John Spencer’s of this world are what make entertainment entertaining. Without them all we’d have is a bunch of movies starring Tom Cruise and Paris Hilton. And that’s not a world I want to live in.

John Spencer will be missed by many. And I am one of them. I’m glad I was able to enjoy him for so long, and hope that I can continue to enjoy him in syndication and on DVD. My condolences to his family, may they know how many were touched by Mr. Spencer, and how thankful we all are for his contributions to the arts.

I’ll leave you with my Top Five Favorite John Spencer Moments From “The West Wing”:

5- The emotional breakdown he has in the episode “War Crimes” when he learns that 30 years ago when he was a fighter pilot he unknowingly killed innocent civilians.

4- When Leo rouses the troops in “Let Bartlet Be Bartlet”, leading to each staff member proclaiming “I serve at the pleasure of the President!”

3- This line, said during a fight with his wife over how much time he spends at the office, in the episode “Five Votes Down”: “This is the most important thing I’ll ever do. I have to do it well.” I love the hell out of that line. And it’s not a bad motto to live your life by.

2- The scene at the end of “Noel” when he comforts Josh by telling him a story, which in summary, basically tells Josh that as long as he has a job, Josh will always have a job. It’s a great scene, in a fantastic episode.

Here’s the story:

• “This guy’s walking down the street when he falls in a hole. The walls are so steep he can’t get out. A doctor passes by and the guy shouts up, ‘Hey you. Can you help me out?’ The doctor writes a prescription, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a priest comes along and the guy shouts up, ‘Father, I’m down in this hole can you help me out?’ The priest writes out a prayer, throws it down in the hole and moves on. Then a friend walks by, ‘Hey, Joe, it’s me can you help me out?’ And the friend jumps in the hole. Our guy says, ‘Are you stupid? Now we’re both down here.’ The friend says, ‘Yeah, but I’ve been down here before and I know the way out.’”

1- When Charlie tells Leo that Mrs. Landingham died in a car accident in the monumental episode “18th and Potomac”. What makes this moment so good is that after Charlie breaks the news, the camera stays on John Spencer’s face for a good 45 seconds, slowly zooming in, allowing us to see the emotion wash over his face. It may not seem big, but for a primetime network drama to devote nearly an entire minute of air-time on a mere close-up of an actor speaks volumes to how much the makers of The West Wing respected John Spencer as an actor. That moment, in its own way, is revolutionary, and John Spencer is the reason for it.

Bangarang… and vaya con dios, my friend.