Grading the Career of Tom Hanks’s Hair

When the news broke that Tom Hanks had been cast as Robert Langdon in the film version of Dan Brown’s unbelievably successful book The Da Vinci Code I was less than enthused. I had read both The Da Vinci Code and the far superior first book Angels & Demons, and had never once visualized Tom Hanks in the hero role. Maybe a ruffled Hugh Jackman or a nattily dressed Robert Downey Jr., but never Mr. Nice Guy, Tom Hanks. I could not wrap my head around the idea that he was gonna play an action hero (which the character was in Angels & Demons). Aside from a few battle scenes in Saving Private Ryan, I doubt he’s ever been in one action scene (I’ve never even seen him in a fight. Heck, I’ve never once seen him outrun a fireball, so how is he ever going to pull this off?). But then I remembered that he’s a tremendously gifted actor who’s surprised me time and time again, maybe he can do it; maybe he’s not such a bad choice after all. But then the first pictures from the film showed up on the net and everything changed.

What was that… thing on Tom’s head? That couldn’t be his hair, right? He wouldn’t voluntarily make himself look so ratty and greasy. I don’t believe he’d have such a catastrophic lapse in judgment. But I was wrong. We all were. He was going to play Robert Langdon with the long, ugly, unruly hair, and we would all just have to accept it (but also make fun of it). The internet was abuzz with Tom Hanks Hair jokes. It’s gotten so bad that Tom has spent most of the press junket for the film defending his hair choice instead of talking about the religious implications of the novel or the plagiarism case. Tom claimed that he hired a hairdresser who tells “stories” with hair. Ok Tom, but that doesn’t explain why you have oily doll hair that makes you look like the old guy still trying to pick up freshman at a Frat party. The fact is, the hair is bad, I know it, Tom knows it, we all know it. Excuses are great and all, but in the end, the hair is just bad looking. It’s Snakes on a Plane-goofy.

How could this have happened? How could Tom have stepped so wrong?

I went back and examined his look over the years and stumbled across a weird phenomenon. Tom Hanks has bad hair. Go back and look at his early career and you’ll see he has some of the worst chops this side of evil lesbian Rosie O’Donnell. But then, as if by magic, the hair got better when he started winning Oscars. And then it got wild again after he had got carte blanche as an actor. He’s had a tremendously up and down hair career. It’s as if sometimes his hair is in control of his career and sometimes not. Tom Hanks’s Hair (To which will now be referred to as “THH”.) is its own being, working independent of Tom Hanks the actor, to carve out a place in history for itself. A place where white guy afros are considered high couture, and poofy bangs are beloved.

If you look at just the career of Tom Hanks’s Hair (THH), it’s possible to find an answer for how in God’s name Tom ended up looking so bad in The Da Vinci Code. And I’ve decided to do just that. I present: The Career Report Card of THH.

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Splash

This is the rookie hair; amateur hair. Maybe THH had taken a few classes, learned itself some Meisner, but it was no pro. It’s too puffy, too young, too 80’s. Sure, it makes Tom look like the perfect “schmoopy guy who falls in love with a mermaid played by Elle Driver”, but it’s not the manliest of cuts. But THH was smart, and learned from this misstep. As it is with acting, you learn as you go along and you take what you need from each project. Clearly what THH learned from Splash is that in cheesy studio comedies, the poofy and pompier the better. In any event, it’s a solid hair debut for a rising star actor. Probably up there in the rankings with Tom Cruise’s sort-of mullet debut in Risky Business and Leonardo Di Caprio’s middle part straggly hair-look on Growing Pains.

THH Grade: B

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Man With One Red Shoe

Clearly, THH learned from its debut and utilized its newfound skill, because this movie welcomed the birth of what I like to call “The Hanks Fro”. An off-shoot of the Jew-fro (because Hanks isn’t Jewish), THH launched a full blown assault on the abilities of the widescreen lens. It probably took a 1:85:1 aspect ratio just to fit the whole thing in frame. I like that Tom seems unafraid that the sheer volume of his hair would cripple even the firmest of cowboy hats. And his bravery must be noted, too, as one light drizzle would send The Hanks Fro into a frizz disaster the likes have which have not been seen since the heyday of Adrian Zmed.

Tom used this look for a string of 80’s rise-to-stardom roles, only trimming the glorious mane when he had to play a cop (Dragnet) or when he had to limit the grabbing options of leachy Cheers-escapee Shelley Long (The Money Pit). The Hanks Fro was an interesting career move for THH, but not ultimately a wise one. The film tanked at the box office, though to be fair, not necessarily as a result of The Hanks Fro. But let’s face it, the look’s not doing anybody favors. The lesson here: You can go bigger, but not wider.

THH Grade: C-

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Big

Here’s where THH began to develop a bit of a Diva attitude. The Hanks Fro is gone, but in its place is a pseudo-Flock of Seagulls, kinda wannabe preppy look that is just awful. It may have worked to showcase Tom’s confusion in being a boy in a man’s body, but it did nothing to show off the talents of THH. He comes off looking like a nerd whose trying to be a politician, yet desperately hoping appears hip. It’s not working, and it’s a testament to THH’s belief that stardom was just around the corner. This was hair saying “Hey, look who I’m attached to. We’re going places. So I’m gonna rock the front bang curls, and not only can you do nothing about it. You’re gonna like it.”

Tom may have rode Big into box office success and the acting stratosphere, but THH gets bad reviews and maybe a Razzie award (merely as an ego check).

THH Grade: D

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Joe Versus the Volcano

Now here’s when Tom Hanks took control of THH. He realized that going long was never going to give him the career boost he needed. After all, at the time, Mel Gibson was rocking the long hair, Kurt Russell had the market cornered on action hero mullets, and the yuppies were starting to go shorter. There’s a scene in the movie where Tom goes from depressive-mullet Joe, to happy-short and trim Joe. Cutting his hair on film served two purposes, 1. It was a formal introduction to the new, preppier Tom Hanks, and 2. It was a sign that Tom was in control of his career, not THH. This film was the coming out party for what I like to call “The Signature Tom Hanks Look”. Short on the sides, slightly white guy afro-y on top and a bit of a bang curl effect. He would sport the Signature look throughout the 90’s, coincidentally the same time that he became the biggest star in the world (not to mention a two-time Academy Award winner). The Joe Mullet, the Hanks Fro and the Big Curl were all destroyed the day Joe Versus the Volcano was released. This was the dawn of a new era for THH, one that was presided over by Tom himself. One that would see THH going shorter and shorter until the Castaway rebellion of 2000.

THH Grade For the First Half Mullet: F

THH Grade For the Second Half Signature Tom Hanks Look: A

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Philadelphia

Not surprisingly, the first real case of The Signature Tom Hank Look dominating the screen and it wins Tom Hanks an Academy Award. I think the win was truly a sign that THH is stupid, and had no idea what it was doing in the late 80’s. Bad THH career decisions may have set Tom back a good three years. Who knows what type of business The Burbs and Turner & Hooch would have done had they not been saddled with The Hanks Fro. Tom pulls off the preppy lawyer look here with great aplomb, and then in a stunning follicle twist, goes completely bald and sports some edgy stubble. It’s a great transformation made exceptionally believable due to it being the first time anyone has seen Tom Hanks with his hair so short. It’s always a watershed moment in any actor’s career when we get to see their skull for the first time. Luckily for Tom, just like his on-screen persona, he apparently has the nicest skull in Hollywood. Tom’s skull is so nice it donates money to charities. It’s so nice it feeds the homeless on Thanksgiving. Basically, every part of Tom Hanks is nice (natch).

THH Grade: A

Procedures such as Philadelphia hair transplant should be administered by board-certified plastic surgeons in order to get the best results.

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Forrest Gump

Gun to my head, this is my favorite look for THH. The shaved sides and close cropped army-issue flat top completely alter Tom’s look and physicality. I saw Tom do Forrest on Inside the Actor’s Studio, but it wasn’t believable because he didn’t have the Forrest hair. That’s how good the look is; when the hair is indispensable to the character (much like Julia’s red curly hair in Pretty Woman or Ethan Hawke’s greasy Reality Bites goatee), you’ve got a classic hair character.

This seemed to be a turning point for THH in that it began to work with Tom, and not against him. The success of Philadelphia showed that shorter was better and in Forrest Gump, THH embraced the short. No longer did it resent Tom for the public shearing in Joe Vs. The Volcano; they were now one complete symbiotic persona, working together under a common goal: world box office domination.

THH Grade: A+

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Apollo 13

The Apollo 13 haircut is notable for finally finding a way to straighten Tom’s naturally curly hair. He’s again sporting a government-cut, but unlike in Forrest Gump, he has a lot more hair on top. No believable astronaut would have The Hanks Fro, as it may prove to be a liability in space. Zero-gravity does no favors for The Hanks Fro. So THH found a way to be high on top, but to go straight up, not all over puffy. It would appear that Apollo 13 was the culmination of all that THH had learned. The hair was shorter, satisfying the new Tom Hanks, yet it had the necessary personality that THH used to push so hard for in the 80’s. The film was a tremendous success and Tom again was nominated for an Academy Award. If there was a most improved hair award, in 1995 THH would have been a shoe-in.

THH Grade: B+

Tom and THH would continue to work well together for the next five years, again going military in Saving Private Ryan, going Philadelphia-style in That Thing You Do, and finally coming full circle with the original Signature Tom Hanks Look in You’ve Got Mail. It’s the happiest working period of Tom and THH’s career, book ended nicely by romcom’s with a pre-fish lipped Meg Ryan. Finally getting over their differences, the team set out and attained every goal on their list. Fame, money, acclaim and no frizz hair spray, all through the power of a good actor/hair relationship.

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The Green Mile

This is hair gone stale; gone soft. A toned-down Signature Tom Hanks look, one that would begin to define late-90’s Tom Hanks. We get the return of The Hanks Fro, but this time it’s maintained and horse-collared. It’s a diplomatic fro. While I like the throwback, and am glad to see Tom get out of army haircuts, I still think it’s way too boring. Is it possible that THH mailed this one in? It is possible, because everyone in this movie mailed it in. Wasn’t it supposed to be the quintessential drama of the decade? The biggest star in the world, directed by the man who made Shawshank Redemption, working with a script by the most popular writer in the world (Stephen King), adapted from a book series lauded by critics everywhere. The Green Mile should have been a shoe-in for Best Picture. But everything is curiously muted. All the right notes are hit, all the right emotions are met, but in the end, this is a film no one cares about and no one really remembers. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the first time in a decade that THH fails to bring its “A” game, the film falls to pieces. It just reinforces my theory that the key to the success of Tom Hanks is a harmonious relationship with his hair.

THH Grade: C-

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Castaway

Now this is more like it. Determined to reclaim its thrown as the biggest star hair in Hollywood, THH took control and delivered the best performance of its career. Castaway was THH’s Everest, and THH planted its flag right on top. From the awesome overgrown beard to the curly long hair (!), replete with sun damage and color problems, the whole look is exciting, sexy, dangerous and brilliant. And what a narrative arc for the hair! Starting out with the muted-Signature Look that Tom sported so poorly in The Green Mile, we all thought Castaway would be just another mailed in hair performance. But then the island sequence came, and knocked the hell out of that notion. That was Brando hair, Pacino hair, Liz Taylor Hair; it was hair performing on the top of its game. And then, in one final twist; Tom gets off the island and reverts back to The True Signature Tom Hanks look, cementing this film as having the greatest performance by an actor’s hair in motion picture history (succeeding the long standing champion of Carrie Fisher’s cinnamon buns in Star Wars). On sheer cinematic importance alone, Tom should have donated his beard to the Smithsonian.

Castaway was just what THH needed to revitalize its career and get its fans talking again. And the critics loved it. Tom was almost unrecognizable, and many would agree that because of his all-consuming look, that he did the best work of his career. In fact, so much attention was paid to Tom’s look that one could argue the global box office success of the film was mostly due to his radical hair and bushy beard. Tom’s subtle, powerful acting was a new high for the star, but critics and fans could not get past the hair. It was as if all of Tom’s work was ignored just because he stopped shaving for a couple months.

And like that, the war between actor and hair was reborn.

THH Grade: A+

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Road to Perdition

Another great Tom Hanks performance, another spiteful, arrogant THH performance. Just like in Big, THH thought he was better than Tom. Choosing to go with the high top Hanks Fro and an unfortunate upper lip only mustache (Who does THH think it is, Tom Selleck?), Tom’s Road To Perdition look was ugly American hair, too caught up in its own narcissism to realize how foolish it looks.

And you could see the tension in the film. Tom plays the whole thing dour and awkward; like he’s not sure he doesn’t look completely stupid. I’m not surprised that he was ignored come awards season; his wasn’t even the best mustache of the year (Daniel Day-Lewis owned that one with his mammothly cool ‘stache in Gangs of New York.). It’s entirely evident to anyone that pays attention that whenever Tom and THH are not on the same page, things go wrong. They get it right and its Castaway, they get it wrong and it’s Man With One Red Shoe all over again. Tom can never let his

No, it was time to put an end to THH, and Tom knew just what to do.

THH Grade: C

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Catch Me If You Can

How do you shut up the egotistical rantings of hair on an ego trip? You stick it under a hat and shave your face until the skin goes raw. Tom bottled up THH in this flick and was smart to do so. Finally comfortable again in his own skin, you can see the joy in Tom’s performance from the first frame. Like a shaggy dog that finally got his bangs clipped, Tom ran around in this movie independent of THH, and was back in fine form. This was my favorite Hanks performance of the last decade, partly due to a lack of distraction from THH. The real success in Tom’s career is when he plays a part where his hair has no bearing on the role. Whenever hair becomes an issue, THH manages to screw it up. In Catch Me If You Can there was no screw up. Looking resplendent in his black-brimmed FBI hat, Hanks gave a truly outstanding performance, filled with the type of humor, sensitivity and compassion that made Tom Hanks one of the most beloved actors on the planet. And thankfully, the hair had nothing to do with it.

THH Grade: B+

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The Ladykillers

You know what this is? This is “I’m Keith Hernandez” hair. Remember that Seinfeld episode where Keith Hernandez asks out Elaine and is so brazen about it because, hey, he’s Keith Hernandez? That’s what this hair reminds me of. Tom can grow the mutton chops, goofy beard and Col. Sanders hair because, hey, he’s Tom Hanks. Who’s gonna stop him? Who’s gonna tell him “no”?

And you know, I don’t think Tom foolishly let THH make the call on this one. I think Tom made the choice, which is why it failed so spectacularly. When THH chooses a look and fails, he only screws up Tom’s hair. When Tom chooses a look and fails, he screws up the entire movie. You can’t base a performance around a haircut; it takes the audience out of the story. And combine that with the weird accent and cadence, and Tom was itching for a failure. But he didn’t care. Because he’s Tom Hanks. Recognize!

THH Grade: C+ (for the effort)

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The Da Vinci Code

If you look back at all the major successes of Tom Hanks’s film career, you’ll see a common pattern: a unique haircut. Whether it was the Flock of Seagulls cut in Big, or the Preppy Signature in Philadelphia, the army cut in Forrest Gump or the Caveman in Castaway, the best Tom Hanks movies all have a follicle adventure to them. So why should The Da Vinci Code be any different? Sure, he looks like he’s wearing a wet rat. Sure, he looks like an aging hippy that smoked too much pot and doesn’t realize how out of date he looks. And sure, maybe he should just pull a Bruce Willis and accept the fact that he’s losing his hair. But who are we to say the cut is a bad idea? THH has made some bad decisions, but it rarely fails spectacularly. Maybe THH knows something that we don’t. I never really bought Tom as an action hero or matinee idol, but maybe the long hair is the right touch to make him seem more Indiana Jones and less Guy From Sleepless in Seattle. Tom is a great actor, maybe one of the best we have. In the end, underneath THH, it’s still a fantastic actor in a (supposedly) great movie. If we can buy twenty years of Sean Connery toupees, why can’t we buy Tom’s doll hair? I say give Tom and THH a chance. It may just be the last hurrah of an amazingly successful partnership. One final performance before THH is chopped up and never to be seen from again; the end of a great career servicing the talents (and the head) of Tom Hanks.

THH Grade: C

Bangarang!

NowLive.com

147 Comments

  1. rougy says:

    Are you serious? Are you for real? Are you that petty and superficial? Here’s my grade for snarky diva websites who blow the miniscule out of proportion: F–

  2. The Jay says:

    If you hadn’t noticed, it was for fun. Like a joke? No?

    My grade for humorless twits who wouldn’t know fun if it bit them on the ass: F- – (That’s right, the DOUBLE MINUS!!!)

  3. Sarah says:

    This is FANTASTIC! I love that you actually took the time to write all this out. If I knew you, I would force you to be my new best friend. A+

  4. kusems says:

    That is awesome! I love it. I adore Tom Hanks, but have often been concerned about THH. It’s like Tom is too nice to whip his hair into shape.

    And I agree with you on the humorless twits. It must be sad to not be able to enjoy entertainment or humor. I pity poor rougy.

  5. The Jay says:

    Sarah: It’s funny, because I was just thinking about firing my best friend and looking for someone new. If you can quote whole scenes from Real Genius and Mallrats, and obssesively defend the talents of The Esteemed Mr. Keanu Reeves, then we may just be BFF’s.

  6. Devil says:

    hey, this is pretty funny… a trifle long, and you definitely need to learn how to spell– but other than that, this reads almost like something someone should be getting paid for.

    i wonder if tom himself has seen it? wouldn’t that be cool if he dug it and emailed you? or better yet, if he HATED it and emailed you?

    wait… what if his HAIR emails you..? it could happen…

  7. Screw Devil says:

    It’s a blog. Enjoy the content. Appreciate the effort. Sweet write-up.

    Double true.

  8. jo says:

    almost more impact than the hair insights is the devastating realisation that the boyish star is unmistakably getting older as time passes. Shocking stuff

  9. Don says:

    But what about Tom’s hair in in Splash and that other retarded movie he did with John Candy where he joined the Peace Corps to get away from his bookie?

  10. Don says:

    Sorry, you did Splash. My hair will now spank me.

  11. Yetused says:

    Brilliant!

    A (and a + for the ingenious idea)

  12. mark says:

    He was in Saving Private Ryan and if I’m correct that movie did have a lot of action in it

  13. eatmyanus says:

    since when was the harvard professor in the da vinci code supposed to be an action hero? hes a nerdy ass teacher

  14. lea says:

    I think the 80′s hair was cute and if he had started off with Philadelphia his career, would not have been so long running. Despite the obvious of being type cast a as dieing gay lawyer, his hair, I have to agree was not so “beloved”. Anyway, DARYl HANNAH played the mermaid in Splash.

  15. Rachel says:

    Oooh, man, I was about to write how amazing you were (since this is brilliant), until I saw your comment about DEFENDING the talents of Keanu Reeves. Tsk, tsk …

    Oh well, you’re still brilliant.

    Even though I like 80s THH :)

  16. cmoore says:

    rtp is def a b+ and what about saving private ryan. T-hanks is by far the best actor ever and i challange anyone to disagree.

  17. Tracey says:

    What about You’ve Got Mail? His hair was nice in that movie. :-)

  18. MM says:

    What are your thoughts on his ‘Bosom Buddies’ hair?

  19. The Jay says:

    I have a lot more problems that Tom was called “Buffy” on Bosom Buddies, than I do about his mullet fro. Besides, it was 80′s TV, you can’t take anything in that genre seriously. Look at the bowl cut that John Ritter was sporting. Hilarity! (RIP John Ritter)

    Rachel: If you don’t like my Keanu loyalty now, you’re gonna hate it next month when I post my soon-to-be-legendary column “In Defense of Keanu: The Man, The Myth, The Genius”

  20. Jimmy says:

    lea Says:
    May 23rd, 2006 at 5:27 am

    I think the 80’s hair was cute and if he had started off with Philadelphia his career, would not have been so long running. Despite the obvious of being type cast a as dieing gay lawyer, his hair, I have to agree was not so “beloved?. Anyway, DARYl HANNAH played the mermaid in Splash.

    Uh, we know it was Darryl Hannah. If you watch Kill Bill, you’ll note that her character’s name is ELLE DRIVER.

  21. cathi says:

    Uh – I think you, Jay, might be my BFF, though we must have been separated at birth. Not only is Real Genius one of my favorite movies, ever, but I have always been concerned with THH over the years. Thank you for bringing this issue to the forefront.

    -cathi

    P.S. And don’t even get me started on Keanu. My love affair began with Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure and has only gotten more obsesso….

  22. The Jay says:

    Cathi, It’s like I’ve been telling people for years, TheJay.com, it’s a moral imperative!

    Glad you liked the post.

  23. PDC says:

    Loved the movie. The hair worked for this particular role.

  24. PDC says:

    Fantastic movie!

  25. chad says:

    Finally someone agrees with me that angels and demons was better than the da vinci code! The blog was good too.

  26. Jenny says:

    I’m going to have to agree that the high and tight of Forest Gump was by far the best look for Tom…although the lion’s mane in Cast Away had a much harder role to play.

    Tom rocks the short doo, but starts looking old the longer it gets.

  27. Will says:

    Fantastic post. I’ll never look at that man’s head in the same way again.

  28. amyp says:

    The real problem with Tom’s hair is the massive amounts of black haircolor coating it. Such a dark color only highlights aging skin.

  29. Dan says:

    This is all very good, but no mention of the all important genre of “Tom Hanks Romantic Comedy” movies? Sleepless in Seattle was HUGE and You’ve got mail certainly sucked, but that’s tom being tom right

  30. Eric says:

    you are a moron…get a life loser !

  31. tatiana says:

    ummm yu all are fuckin *blank*!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! holy shit get a fuckin life

    EDITED BY THE JAY

  32. The Jay says:

    It’s always nice to hear what the fans have to say.

    Also, if you came here, spend the time to read the post, then read the comments, then make the decision to post a comment about a funny little piece on a celebrity, then you know, maybe you wanna rethink casting aspersions about other people’s lives. What do you think?

  33. mofo says:

    *sigh* you guys have nothing better to do?

  34. justaloner says:

    Wow. You have no life.

  35. your mom says:

    um you have two much time on your hands jay

  36. your mom says:

    by the way whats the point?

  37. Doesn't Matter says:

    Your first paragraph is full of crap…Tom Hanks has done many action sequences. May I remind you, Saving Private Ryan. Oh…and what about the napalm that he was running away from in Forrest Gump…was that a big enough fire ball for you. Maybe you should spend more time watching his movies then writing about someones hair.

  38. The Dominator says:

    Suck my dick this is horrible the guy is a complete shmuck fuck u and tom hanks get a life douche bag..

  39. The Jay says:

    Just so we’re all clear, I don’t mind hate mail. I don’t mind people not liking me or my writing or even my website (even though it kicks ass). But I will not tolerate hateful, discriminating or racial words or slurs of ANY KIND. You wanna call my readers “queers”, fine, but do it in your head, NOT on my website. I’d rather you just not read my site at all, then read it and abuse other people. Seriously. As Leo McGarry would say: “Guys, look at my face. You’re done.”

  40. Jimbo says:

    The people that bag on you & tell you “to get a life” crack me up. They spent their time reading your stuff. Why don’t they get a life and stop reading shit that they don’t like. I kind of enjoyed it and I have a life.

  41. laffyman says:

    hey this is great i just have one question: are you gonna continue this if he does more movies? i hope you do because its really funny and in a way your right beacause the green mile had a great story line maybe it just tanked cause of the THH.

    P.S. the picture you have for the da vinci code his hair doesnt look that bad… but thats just my opinion

  42. Andrew says:

    Excellent sense of humor, although his hair makes you skeptical at first, he always seems to pull it off. You put this together nicely.

  43. matt says:

    i think tom hanks would be wonderful for the role of robert langdon, the role is not so much action as it is drama and suspense, perfectly suited for tom. as for his hair in those pictures its perfectly symbolic of a harvard professor who is going though his midlife.

  44. TheCob says:

    A+ I found it very funny that you were able to coincide hank’s bad movie choices with bad hair choices. It all makes sense, its the distraction that ruins the movie…like tyrese’s fingerless glove that he wore in 2 fast 2 furious. that thing pissed me off beyond all belief and i missed the middle 3rd of the movie because of it. you should do another one of these on some other reoccurring prominent feature of someone else too.

  45. Malevolent says:

    I enjoyed this article. I find it funny however that some people take the time to be rude and small minded instead of seeing the fun in nit picking one of the best actors ever.

    PS I couldn’t stand Castaway as a movie. Forest Gump is still in my over top 10 movies of all time though.

  46. dikimbe mutumbo says:

    Good idea for a site, but I disagree with every grade you gave … except for Forrest Gump.

  47. Carrie says:

    I’m sorry but I don’t see how the hair has anything real,plausible, discussion value. Sure for a fun short meaningless talk among friends who are bored. But to dedicate a whole blog to it is suerfluous and shows you do not grasp that there are more important things in this world. If you put the energy you wasted on this blog post into helping in your community, or focusing on a real issue you might actually earn some respect.

  48. The Indian says:

    Tom is a good actor but wouldn’t your powers of observation be better used on actors such as Mel Gibson.

  49. tazza says:

    hahaha i thought this was great!!! woopwoop dont listen to the freaks who dont have any sence of humor wot so ever i give this an a+++++++***************** :)

  50. shawn says:

    Hey what about saving private ryan? Im a douche that reads half a paragraph then posts a comment. If you can score a role in a movie as a bank robber/surfer you’re ok in my book. Long live KR. Da Vinci code(book) sucked. I would like to end this comment with a quote and more importantly the eternal question: “if you dudes are us then whats our faviorate number?”

  51. Mike says:

    What about Turner and Hooch? I’ve been researching Hanks’ hair for a while, but I can’t make a decision about Scott Turner.

  52. Amy says:

    You’re a moron. Plain and simple.

  53. Jon says:

    even though i really dont give a shit about THH, this is a pretty cool post because it started some contraversy over one man’s hair. keep up the outstanding work! @(*_*)@

    -Jon

  54. Rob says:

    your an idiot,r grading tom hanks hair,could you get any more retarded. How bored are you that you grade someones hair.

    i give you an F for Fucking Retard!

  55. Amanda says:

    What a pathetic attempt to tear an actor down to make yourself feel better. You need help.

  56. Pat says:

    You forgot “The Terminal” !!!

  57. sigh says:

    ah geez. is it really neccessary to draw attention to flaws in people? i happen to own a head of very unruly hair myself. maybe you’re trying to compensate for the fact that regardless of his not-so-suave hair choices, he is still more famous, rich, talented, successful, and influential than you. and i think if you can accomplish such a feat and sport bad hair styles at the same time…its kind of impressive. props for tom.

  58. Chillicothe, Missouri: Jennifer McCoy says:

    This is so silly, I bet the person grading these dumb “Hair Styles” has worse, or no, hair than Hank. I give them a F-!

  59. Veronica says:

    Wow you have a lot of time on your hands, then again Iam reading this. A lot of this was freakishly true.

  60. Jeff says:

    dude, I don’t know what to say, it seems so simple now. Why i liked BIG, and Castaway, and Forrest Gump, and Apollo 13. It was the hair, it was always the hair, it most likely will always be the hair. as a side note, why WOULD someone read all of this, decide they don’t like it, and then spend the time to write a reply?? it just doesn’t make sense. they should just do something else that they like. yeah, I’m done.

  61. The Jay says:

    I can’t believe some people are taking this so seriously. I love Tom Hanks, and think he’s a great actor. He just happens to have occasionally funky hair. And he decided to call attention to it with his Da Vinci do. Are all the haters mad because I wrote a piece about Tom Hanks’s hair, or are they angry that they didn’t think of the idea first?

    Seriously, what’s with all the anger and hostility, it’s just pop culture.

  62. Sadie says:

    The Da Vinci Code haircut only got a C???!!??? WTF! DVC cut makes Tom sexy

  63. Marla Singer says:

    so…why do so many people say this blog is “stupid” or “pointless”….your the stupid ones…you spend time reading the blog and then you bitch about it and say it’s stupid…you spent the time reading it…and besides as much i feel that this blog had no point to it at all…it was still rather funny…and do you honestly think that posting a comment about how dumb and pointless this blog is will make a difference…bitch and moan all you want people, your not going to change the fact that this is on the web, so just shut the fuck up and move on with your pathetic little lives

  64. The Jay says:

    Thank you Marka, I think. I’d also like to point out that you were only reading one post on my site, of which there are 65 others. So before you discount my writing or my site, take a read through my archives, I would bet there’s something there for everyone to like.

    - The Jay

  65. mustapha says:

    WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! People finally talking about THH…I’ve known about it for years but I had no idea anyone else did. Thank you Jay, You have made someone very happy (i wont tell you my age. sorry, but i dont want you stalking me)

    Mustapha

  66. KKris says:

    this is past F i give it a G+

  67. Karina says:

    here’s a hatemail for you fuckers.

    shut the fuck up you people who are posting hatemail for the people who did this.

    its for fun. not a superficial descrimination or some shit.

    if this offends you its kuz ur ugly.

    so shut the fuck up.

  68. JJ says:

    People like karina gots to calm down and stop cussin all da time. If dey want ta waste dey time on a brotha’s hair let ‘em waste dey time. It’s thier time.

  69. Your Mom says:

    oh my fuckin’ god, you people are such queer-ass douschebags, you call this humor? you wouldn’t know funny if it fucked you in the ass! you people need to get a fuckin life and stop jackin off to tom hanks

  70. Your Mom says:

    and karina, you have no fuckin argument, “because you’re ugly”? wtf? you need to fuckin chill, goddamn, fuckin retards

  71. Vickie says:

    This is the funniest editorial I have read in months! Thank you for the laughs. You are a talented writer. (and in the future, I’ll use the word “schmoopy”)

    A+

  72. Becky says:

    Amazingly, I find the hair suits the character. (Clearly, Michael Douglas in Wonder Boys was the inspiration.) It just doesn’t suit Tom Hanks.

  73. Tom Hanks Hair says:

    All I seek is recognition for my contribution to the otion picture industry.

    Some of my work is misunderstood, and along the way I’ve had to restrict some of my creative bounce and lustre to meet the artistic vision of certain directors.

    I am delighted that this site is highlighting the valuable contribution that I have made to my host’s career.

    Please help me gain the recognition I deserve by writing to IMDB and demanding that I be given credit independently of Mr. Hanks.

  74. Wheeler says:

    You forgot to mention his Bosom Buddies hair!

  75. James says:

    Wow, sickophantasia at it’s finest.

    Who cares if Tom Hanks doesn’t have great hair? Surely you can think of something more constructive to write about?

    People who obsess about celebrities to this extent should be shot. Are you a superficial little girl, dressed in pink, head of the cheerleading squad at high school? Do you whore yourself to the popular lads? You’re definately American.

    The fact that you’ve the time to source all that information, and type it out gives me reason to suspect nothing interesting is happening in your life at the moment – which in turn leads me to the conclusion that your miserable little nobody life deserves a G+

    Bloody retard.

  76. the fan says:

    “unbelievably successful book The Da Vinci Code I was less than enthused. I had read both The Da Vinci Code and the far superior first book Angels & Demons”

    just that comment makes reading your page worthless, you clearly state the da vinci code was extremely succesful, so most people would agree that angels and demons is by no account any better, otherwise THAT would have been succesful. stick to commenting on hairdoes and how they influence succesful actors

  77. The Jay says:

    Angels & Demons WAS a best-seller. Why do you think he wrote a sequel, ass!

    Da Vinci Code sold more copies because the central conceit was appealing to the mainstream, and drummed up more controversy. But Angels & Demons was the better read.

    Why are some of my readers so asinine?

  78. Phe says:

    Why are they asinine? They are the general public, Jay. The gene pool gets a tad shallow and murky in spots.

  79. Troy says:

    This article lost me from the beginning. Did this idiot, a “writer”, actually use the phrase “action hero” for Robert Langdon, the main character in Da Vinci Code. If you are going to argue something at least argue a valid point. Just start talking immediately about the hair idea instead of using a distant tangent as an introduction to your vain assumptions. Tom Hank’s character is no more an “action hero” in this book/film than Jack was in Titanic. I think a few running scenes does not constitute an action hero. Perhaps in your personal comparison, as a trip to the mailbox is considered “action” for you.

  80. Nancy says:

    You are absolutly, hysterically funny in your comments and reading this has been a gas!I hope you continue writing and entertaining as I think you are really talented!
    I was Tom-crazy ’til I read his wife took a $250,000 purse to the Oscars…..pu-leeeez…..Nice guy, well sorta-can we find nothing better to do w/ our money???

  81. Rashaverak says:

    I skimmed this whole post hoping I would find something funny somewhere in here. The only thing I found was a bunch of ignorant assholes criticizing the work of someone who is only trying to entertain you. I’m sorry to say that I didn’t enjoy your post too much Jay, but you get an A for effort. Keep on posting, and screw the rest of these people.

  82. karmacompany says:

    this is the first time i’ve EVER commented on any blog. Also, i don’t rightly remember how i stumbled upon this site. I just felt it necessary to say that i enjoyed reading the thing about THH almost as much as i enjoyed reading the comments about it. To observe some of these people simultaneously take the message of the blog WAY too seriously, and then criticise others for taking it too seriously…

    obviously, people, you’re pretty personally invested in this blog if you get somehow offended by its content (to the point of blatantly insulting other readers and those responsible). to me, it just demonstrates a level of ignorance, arrogance, and other things that end in -ance which is all to prevalent in today’s digital culture wherein the masses are only exposed to each other through electronic means. A little face-to-face interpersonal relations would do some good. Are social skills on the decline because of the internet? I guess only time will tell.

    Also, the get angry that this particular blog is “pointless” is rather superfluous. If, my friends, you are reading blogs in search of some deeper or profound meaning or message, you may be searching in the WRONG PLACE. The idea of a blog, unless i’ve totally missed the point for the last few years, is for an individual to express their thoughts and opinions to mass audiences in an entertaining, often humorous way. Yes, some of these WebLogs can be thought provoking in nature, but to say they should have some specific point which will directly influence the lives of those reading them is, i believe, unnecessary.

    For those of you who rag on the ideas presented in the aforementioned THH blog, please keep in mind that these are all OPINIONS. For “The Jay” to say that Robert Langdon is an action hero is just a representation of how he (i am assuming here that “the jay” is a singular male, forgive me if i am wrong) interpreted the character. The idea of demeaning someone because of their opinions IS asinine. Changing someone’s perceptions of reality is nearly impossible, and it takes a lot more than a comment on their blog, i can assure you.

    I guess what i’m trying to say with all of this is that “The Jay” put something up which a lot of people could not do, which required minimal time and effort to create, and by which a lot of people were entertained. And, apparently, it made some of us think a little bit about the very nature of our lives. For this, we should be thanking “the jay”. So, thank you, “the jay”, for occupyiing a weary mind in the few minutes before i have to go to work.

    I just get upset when i encounter closed-mindedness.

    And, for all of you who, in the future, will be quoting the things that i wrote here to prove that i have no life, that i took the article way too seriously, that i have too much time on my hands, i’ll save you the trouble. Everything you will say about me is true. good one, guys. your biting commentary on the life of someone you’ve never even seen is so startlingly accurate that i may cry and i will never comment on a blog ever ever ever again. weep weep sniffle sniffle sob.

    now if you’ll excuse me, i have some miles davis and a pay check waiting for me.

    -zac

  83. TheCob says:

    These haters crack me up! I mean seriously. How often throughout the course of a day do you stop to criticize something about someone else. Everyone does it, whether it is outwardly or subconsciously. Everyone has momments where they propel themselves by looking disdainfully on another person’s traits. The only difference between what we do in our everyday lives while ridiculing people we pass on the street and what Jay is doing here by making fun of Tom Hanks’ hair styles(in a completely non-serious, yet well planned out way) is that Jay reaches an audience of millions while we may be overheard by the few people we have standing near us.

    These people who take the time to read this entire blog, then post, in my opinion are as retarded as the “Angry Mothers Gang” who threaten to sensor every form of media because they are too busy galavanting across the nation yelling at everyone else for slipping up and showing risque, that they do not have time to sensor the material that is being put in front of their own children. Instead of doing the proper thing by hitting the little “X” up in the top right corner removing them from the page that is “offending their sensibility” and sensoring the material for themselves, they feel it is their civic duty to scold the original author of the so-called asinine blog.

    Jay A+ I’ve found that 90% of the time people who post opinionated blogs are nothing but closed minded rejects who seriously have nothing better to do that rant angrily about everyone else’s short-comings. You fit into the other 10% who seem to have taken their time to get their facts straight and make a plausible arguement, even if the arguement is nothing but a humorous article grading THH.

    I believe in freedom of speech, but I don’t believe everyone should use the right.

  84. theZone says:

    yaaaa hahahahhahahahha
    muwahahahahhaha hoohoohoo hahha hihihi hehhehe yayaya

    someone has a little too much time on their hands…and its ME hahahahahahhahaha
    see ya in hell fuckers

  85. Steve says:

    Wow, i can leave a post! yay!.

    What about Hanks in that movie where he does that thin, you know, that thing, that you do?

    You know that movie? right?

  86. Troy says:

    For Karmacompany (aka Zac):

    You simply are moronic in thinking that a multitude of words gives you more credibility. Last I checked it just makes you wordy. I comment on you only because you made such an idiot out of yourself trying to make a point about others and what you think their life is like because of a post, when in fact, your finger pointing pointed right back at you all in the same comment.

    I love how you vainly signed off with a comment you thought would give you more clout and a feable attempt at maybe you are showing you are more cultured. No one gives a crap that you listen to “miles davis”, do you hope that makes you feel different. Guess what I am gonna go listen to Nick Lachey or (insert some other radio-pop culture mainstream icon) and I will do it knowing I don’t need to distance myself from society by picking a random cultural icon…idiot.

    Now, give us another post that tells us what we should not do as you do it yourself all in the same sentence.

  87. Troy says:

    Hey, TheCob! I loved this comment:

    “These people who take the time to read this entire blog, then post, in my opinion are as retarded as the “Angry Mothers Gang?”

    Umm….didn’t you just read the entire blog then post?

    So, you in fact are retarded based on your own statement, correct?

    You are the man who advises his friends not to pee into the wind while peeing in the wind I take it.

  88. Lover, not a fighter says:

    I thought the same thing when I first saw promotional pictures from the Da Vinci code, “What is THH getting Tom into now?”
    Thanks for describing the exploits of THH over the years, I was most amused!! I shall refrain from telling the haters to “back off” whoops looks like I just did, lighten up children!
    Love ya Jay!!

  89. Jenna says:

    So funny! It’s very sad that so many people did not see the humor in this, though. This is a great idea (I bet most of the critics are just jealous!) You’re an excellent writer, too!

  90. Mark says:

    Funny, but i think the Da Vinci code-do deserved the F-. The greesy mullet thing just didn’t do it for me

  91. karmacompany says:

    troy.

    you are right. you know exactly what i was thinking in every word of my response. i am a moron, and i am vain, and i truly do care what you, troy, think of me. i did think that miles davis would make me cooler, and you called me out on it. thank you.

    -zac

  92. Dom says:

    i like how everyone defends what they say on the comments section of a blog. everyone is trying to sound clever and trying to cover all the angles of how they could get made fun of after they submit their comment. im not going to tell you all to get a life, or to not care as much, cause who am i to care? who will take that advice anyways? have fun ripping on each other. and jay, you know its sad when the highlights of your day are when you log on and see how many new comments you have.

  93. JR says:

    I think a lot of people who are posting here are missing the BIG picture. Wheen he is refering to THH, he’s not just refering to Tom Hanks’s Hair on his head. Do you know the ugly, sweat his pubes had to go through in Castaway? The hair has paid his dues. That was a far stretch from the Bosom Buddy days when he shaved all the time.

    Great article. A++

  94. cindy says:

    you had to much time on your hands…..

  95. Miles Davis says:

    I don’t make anyone cool, you jive-ass bitch.

  96. boo says:

    karmacompany: Thank you for adding a bit of wisdom and intelligence to the conversation. Although you obviously have the personal integrity to stand up to a little flaming, I would just like to point out to troy that, had he read the two preceding posts in their entirety, he would have realized that while there was in fact a multitude of words in your post, it was not wordy, you simply had more to say than he did. Which, since he said nothing of value at all, wasn’t hard.

    -don’t judge to quickly.

  97. corn_on_the_cob says:

    This is the best thing I’ve read in ages! I always wondered what it was about Tom Hanks that I liked, now I know! His lovely curly locks would give Pete Sampras a run for his money.mmm

  98. TheCob says:

    Troy:
    “Hey, TheCob! I loved this comment:

    “These people who take the time to read this entire blog, then post, in my opinion are as retarded as the “Angry Mothers Gang??

    Umm….didn’t you just read the entire blog then post?

    So, you in fact are retarded based on your own statement, correct?

    You are the man who advises his friends not to pee into the wind while peeing in the wind I take it.”

    >>>you are obviously one of the retards I posted about. Seeing as if you had read farther on I gave Jay an A+ for his very well thought out blog. I was scolding the “Angry Mothers Gang” and all the other discontent morons who find it necessary to read this entire blog, which they find a complete waste of time, and then post about how much of a waste of time it is.

    Grow up, shut the fuck up and listen/read carefully before posting a rebuttle. AND FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, IF THIS OFFENDS YOU HIT THE X IN THE CORNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    I also find pissing in the wind to be a good way to cool off on a hot summer day. :-D

  99. Austin says:

    tom hanks IS an action hero. He DID outrun fireballs.

    Forest Gump ya psycho. well not really fireballs but bombs. i mean only people with super powers can outrun bombs while carrying people on ther back.

    SHIT!@

  100. Deviant Anomaly says:

    While I love THH in DVC, you were right on about the 80s looks. I definately dig THH mid career compared to its younger days.

    The controversy your article has received, you’d think there was a preface claiming all descriptions here in are fact. ;)

    Keep up the great and witty writing.

    Cheers!

  101. Krysten says:

    I give his hair an A+ just because I can. :-p and because some kid told me to rate tom hanks hair.

  102. Jamie says:

    The ONLY role Keanu SUCKED at was his thankfully very small part in Much Ado About Nothing. Otherwise, I’m on your team, Jay. ;)

  103. corn_on_the_cob says:

    Nonono , Keanu was sooo wooden in Dracula , stiffer than a corpse!! Maybe it was just because all the talent – I mean blood – ahem ,was sucked out of him in order to master this role:-p

  104. murdog says:

    wow this is so funny i got to here from http://elinks.ebaumsworld.com/ and i love thouse people that send u hate mail and the mail just saying how stuped they r for righting hate mail on somthing that is clearly don just for no reason and couse u do have to munch time on your hands like the rest of us useing the internet for fuck sake lol also come cheack bud and murdogs live show at 11:30PM EST yo and if the jay dos post i well rep your site on the show live and the jay come your self and well chat about thouse retard’s that post hate mail lol peace and keep up the pointless stuff tht wastes r time couse ibe got too fucking munch of it like just look at what im doing right now well im going to end my usless life now lol

  105. kat says:

    John Travolta wins my award for unusual hairstyles. Beats Hanks by a mile.

  106. synical says:

    Thought the article is freaking hilarious and true; boo to the people who don’t see the humour in it.

  107. Mr X says:

    I think that the more nerdy and square Hanks hair is the better he looks and the better he acts. That’s because he is an everyman not an Indiana Jones action hero. He’s a very fine actor and your hair ‘piece’ was very funny and I thought your respect for him as an actor shone through. I have no desire to see the Da Vinci Code as I tried to read the book and it seemed a potboiler of the worst type and I just don’t think the role would suit him. I like to remember Tom in the great roles like Big, Forrest Gump and Philadelphia. He occupies the place Jimmy Stewart used to own, the sort of guy you could call a friend and have a beer with.

  108. [...] Alternate Tagline: Seek The Barbershop [...]

  109. TwoDogS says:

    very funny. now, for all you people who just don’t get it.. go here..http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/

  110. TwoDogS says:

    funny. too bad people don’t get it.

  111. Jen says:

    Hilarious!!!! The only thing missing is a graph or perhaps a nice colorful pie chart! Thejay.com is the newest addition to my favorite websites!

  112. hair says:

    bold men look more a handsome and attractive that men with long hair and girly style

  113. Debby says:

    I loved the humor of Jay. Didn’t agree with all of his “hair ratings” for Tom Hanks. What I really (and I mean really!) loved was the phony people writing in disparging Jay for wasting his time writing about Tom Hanks hair. Because in reality they are “doubly” wasting their own time.

  114. [...] I stumbled across TheJay.com via a link on Grabass to this post on Tom Hanks’s hair. Then I got caught up in reading the latest post on Orlando Bloom and his blandness — which I thought was spot-on, but there were others [read: staunch defenders of Orlando and his non-bland awesomeness] who thought differently. Definitely worth a read. [...]

  115. BrilloPad says:

    I’ve been a fan of THH since his B-Buds days, and as I recall, he had at least two lid looks goin’ on – the “Pot Scrubber” (popular in the 70′s, and therefore not completely his fault, seeing as how he was born with the perfect hair type for that look), and of course “Beautiful Buffy’s Wig” (which I think the show’s wardrobe inherited from Ethel Merman???).

  116. BrilloPad says:

    Oh Yeah,

    I also meant to mention that THH was whipped in Dragnet! That shiny hairdo could easily have been inspired by DEVO ;).

    WHIP IT GOOD!!!

  117. DaJdawg says:

    I had so much to say about this blog. However, karmacompany covered pretty much everything I was going to say, only worded much better lol. This is also my first reply on a blog, so here goes hehe..

    A: It’s very funny that people take the time to read something like this, and then take the time to reply to, only to say what a waste of time it was reading it….

    B: Although dumb and people have said, I thought this was a very ingenious idea, grading somebody’s career against their hair… amazingly funny…. I feel sorry for you if you were offened because it was dumb….

    C: People take the time to critize spelling and grammar. I guess they are perfect. I’d like them to rattle thoughts off one somthing like this and make no mistakes, espcially to a large and critical audience (I only know this from the narrow minded responses I’ve seen from this blog).

    D: Yes movies were left out. People complained alot about what was there, and obvously jay took alot of time to create this blog anyway, so SETTLE DOWN heh

    All in all, i was thoroughly amused, and enjoyed it. Good work man… if you are a man… jay… lol

  118. The Jay says:

    I’m a man, but only on the outside…

    Glad you liked the piece.

  119. Nathalie says:

    Tom hanks is my favourite
    He’s beautifful !!
    All of his movie’s are great!
    i’m from belgium , but i’m buying all his movies
    it’s now hard to get them but i’m working on it
    He is The best!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Love, Nathalie

  120. DESERET HART says:

    MY GRANDMOTHER….. KATHRYN BLONDELL HART IS ACTUALLY THE HAIRSTYALIST FOR TOM HANKS AND DID MANY OF THESE MOVIES@!!

  121. The Jay says:

    That’s awesome. Next time you see her, can you ask her what she was smoking when she did Tom’s hair in Big or Road To Perdition or the first half of Joe vs the Volcano?

    That’d be great.

  122. [...] Grading the Career of Tom Hanks?s Hair [...]

  123. Contactos says:

    Vaya tela con el Tom Hanks, menudos cambios :-)

  124. [...] If you look at just the career of Tom Hanks’s Hair (THH), it’s possible to find an answer for how in God’s name Tom ended up looking so bad in The Da Vinci Code. And I’ve decided to do just that. I present: The Career Report Card of THH. [...]

  125. Clockwatcher says:

    I just found your site, and this is wonderful! I readily agree with your couiffure critique.

    Also for the people arguing about “Robert Langdon as action hero” I agree with The Jays statement, having actually read both books in which he is featured by Dan Brown. You can not use the movie as an example haters, you should go to the source to build an opinion.

  126. [...] It could even be his hair which, generally speaking, always puts in a sparkling performance. [...]

  127. [...] most disappointing. I never really liked the book (I prefer the prequel, Angels & Demons) and everyone knows my thoughts on The Hair, but I was genuinely optimistic about the movie. I loved the cast, I liked the concept, Ron Howard [...]

  128. [...] Jim’s hair looks like a wig from the bottom of Tom Hanks’ Da Vinci Code reject pile. [...]

  129. [...] me to thinking about his hair over the years, and I realized that it has always sucked. And thus “Grading the Career of Tom Hanks’s Hair” was [...]

  130. [...] she thought the Da Vinci Code was real and that Opus Dei was out to get her. I’m worried that Tom Hanks’ hair is out to get me, but you don’t see me OD’ing! Man [...]

  131. See'r says:

    <<< You can not use the movie as an example haters, you should go to the source to build an opinion. >>>

    Bingo, Clockwatcher.

    Fun idea The Jay, just sorry it took me this long to get around to reading it ;)

  132. No matter what hair Tom has – good or bad – he is a tremendously talented actor and I like him lots! and I would add that his hair is kinda “sexy ugly”! :)

  133. [...] Grading the Career of Tom Hanks’s Hair [...]

  134. [...] brings down (even though he gets shot in the arm and doesn’t react to it and has worse hair than the THH). For god sakes, he couldn’t even front Sarah Jessica Parker in that Vegas movie, so why would I [...]

  135. Tom Hanks ,who put his homemade video up on his MySpace page, begins by saying, “I’m Tom Hanks and I want Barack Obama to be the next President of our country. As an official celebrity, I know my endorsement has just made your mind up for you.”

  136. D-Fog says:

    Rougy is my hero.

  137. ant says:

    If anyone thinks Tom’s top hair line is real – is blind. A normal hair line is dictated by the hairline on the sides of your head as they both recede together. Any person, who’s top hair line goes two inches beyond the side hairline, is sporting a weave or a piece. The worst is Nicholas Kim Coppola aka nicholas cage. [bad] The only reason people like the hairline on castaway is because the loose long wig/ weave was able to cover the side hair line and made the hair look much more realistic.

  138. Cosmonaut says:

    I fell asleep reading it. Is it over?

  139. Mathan says:

    @Jay
    U missed the Hair cut comments from Sleepless in seattle buddy. I loved that hairstyle
    Forrest Gump tops them all. It best fits for Mr.Hanks.
    No matter what the Hair style is, i enjoy all the movies of his.

  140. BurmaShave says:

    This is the greatest thing I’ve ever read.

  141. ITSME says:

    Who ever wrote this article is a fking jackass. Tom Hanks looks excellent with his hair transplant. He’s a handsome guy and with his new hair looks even better.

    You on the other hand are a fat hobo who blogs all day.

  142. [...] flat top? The Castaway outgrowth? Or the Colonel Sanders hair from The Ladykillers? Inspired by a classic post at TheJay.com, please take our silly little poll and tell us: What’s your favorite Tom Hanks [...]

  143. [...] flat top? The Castaway outgrowth? Or the Colonel Sanders hair from The Ladykillers? Inspired by a classic post at TheJay.com, please take our silly little poll and tell us: What’s your favorite Tom Hanks [...]

  144. [...] Th­e­ La­dy­k­ille­r­s? I­nsp­i­red by a­ cla­s­s­ic p­o­s­t a­t T­he­J­ay.c­om, p­le­a­s­e­ ta­ke­ our s­i­lly­ [...]

  145. cold says:

    I actually liked Tom Hanks’ hair in the Da Vinci Code (and Angels & Demons), it’s one of THH’s better moments, IMO. <3

  146. [...] flat top? The Castaway outgrowth? Or the Colonel Sanders hair from The Ladykillers? Inspired by a classic post at TheJay.com, please take our silly little poll and tell us: What’s your favorite Tom Hanks [...]

  147. Steve Cook says:

    Hollywood has been attaching fake hair to movie stars for years. Think about Arnold in Conan the Barbarian. Arnold does not have hair loss. They gave him extensions for that movie. Tom Hanks is another one. They will give him whatever look is necessary for the part. There are many out there who have had surgical hair plugs! OUCH! Rumor has it Burt Reynolds tried plugs when he was young. After that did not work well, he was forced into a wig to this day! Today’s hair restoration doctors are not like the old. Hair plugs have pretty much disappeared and scars are a thing of the past. If you look at some work on http://www.GreatHairTransplants.com, you will see what I mean. Dr Density, aka Dr Brett Bolton has been fixing plugs and ugly hair scars for more than 14 years. Whether you are Nick Cage, Tom Hanks, of just the average Joe with hair loss, this information will help. My name is Steve Cook. Have a great hair day!

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