Monthly Archives: August 2006

The Case For: Jason Statham, The New Last Action Hero

There is one man out there who has earned the right to take the mantle of “The New Last Action Hero”. The one that can bring back the old glory days of mindless 80’s action fluff. That has the ability to take on fifteen bad guys at once, dispatch them all and deliver a cutting one-liner, all without breaking a sweat. Someone who actually enjoys being an action hero. And it doesn’t hurt that he shares my first name. Continue reading

Posted in Film, Jason Statham, Orlando Bloom, Sylvester Stallone | 19 Comments

The Biggest Mouths In Hollywood (Literally)

“Wait a minute, am I really watching Marky Mark fingerblast the chick from Man in the Moon? And also, why he is eating her face?” Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Hilary Duff, Lost, Reese Witherspoon, Samuel L. Jackson | 74 Comments

The Jobs of the Boy in “Boy Meets Girl”

Boy is required to meet the girl in an annoyingly “cute way”, like shopping for the same pair of gloves, driving her cross country, refusing to move out of his parents house and thereby forcing them to hire the Girl to motivate him to leave, having a complete mental breakdown, writing a mission statement, getting fired from his agency, performing a long-winded speech, stealing a goldfish and inspiring the Girl to follow him on his crazy plan to start a new agency, or by hiring her off the street for $3000 dollars. Continue reading

Posted in Ben Affleck, Film, Matthew McConaughey | 7 Comments

Other Celebrities Who Hate A Group Of People

What I was more surprised about was why the media has up till now chosen to ignore this pervasive form of hate-mongering. That being “Celebrities Who Hate A Group Of People”. I did some digging into this rising trend of bigotry and found some surprising results. Continue reading

Posted in Angelina Jolie, Celebrity, Lindsay Lohan, Nicolas Cage, Nicole Ritchie, Paris Hilton, Samuel L. Jackson, Tom Cruise | 8 Comments