Mon 22 Jan 2007
Sean Connery “Considers” Indy 4 and other Celebrity Considerations
Posted by The Jay under Film , Celebrity , Renee Zellweger , Reese Witherspoon , Lindsay Lohan
Russian-accent specialist and world renowned “guy who kicks ass”, Sean Connery, did an interview with Scotland on Sunday and reportedly told the rag that he is “considering” returning as Dr. Henry Jones Sr. in the “upcoming” Indiana Jones 4. His exact words were:
“At the moment there’s nothing decided. I haven’t got the script. Everything depends on the script.”
You have to admire that type of indecision.
This latest bit of celebrity career waffling has led to a string of other celebrity “considerations”. TheJay.com has catalogued them for your reading pleasure.
Paula Abdul is “considering” switching from Long Island Ice Tea’s to the more subdued Green Appletini. The Idol host is awaiting test results on her allergy to being “more sober” before for making a decision.
John Travolta “considered” turning down a role in the upcoming crapfest Wild Hogs, then realized “Hey, I’m the star of Be Cool and Lucky Numbers. Mediocre studio comedies are what I do”, and quickly accepted the part.
Lindsay Lohan had been “considering” going to rehab for some time, but only decided to do it when her coke dealer, Sir Smoke-A-Lot, ended his bi-annual 30%-off sale. A source from La Lohan’s camp tells TheJay.com that the “actress” will be released in time to partake in Sir Smoke-A-Lot’s upcoming President’s Day sale.
Aaron Sorkin is “considering” writing a clever, actually funny, non-patronizing episode of his middling NBC drama Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip. The wunderkind writer released this comment: “I’m sorry the episodes haven’t been funny to all you reality show loving pea-brains, but I’m too busy to write an intelligent and clever non-crappy episode. After all, MY BROTHER IS STANDING IN THE MIDDLE OF AFGHANISTAN!”
Tombstone star Val Kilmer is reportedly “considering” doing a sequel to the insanely awesome 80’s comedy Real Genius. (Ed note: This one is real, I don’t have a joke here; I just wanted to bring this atrocity to your attention. Can someone please stop this? And I mean now!)
Last week, Reese Witherspoon “considered” stopping her work as the devil’s apprentice, but was later informed that her contract with Satan runs through 2014 and quickly returned to her evil-making duties. In a related consideration, Ryan Philippe is apparently “considering” doing gay porn. He would of course be the bottom.
George Lucas is “considering” releasing a Special Edition of Star Wars: Episode One – The Phantom Menace. Early research indicates that no one cares.
Grey’s Anatomy bigot Isaiah Washington is “considering” playing a gay man in an upcoming movie to help improve his tarnished image. In a related consideration, unfairly outed Grey’s co-star T.R. Knight is “considering” a guest star role on CSI so he can bone up on ways to kill a man and not get caught.
Nice guy actor Will Smith is “considering” playing a villain in an upcoming movie. The Pursuit of Happyness star told reporters: “I want to play a new kind of bad guy; a modern villain. Like he helps an old lady cross the street, but doesn’t give her five dollars for cab fare. He only donates to three charities instead of ten. He litters occasionally. You know, like a really hateful guy.”
Renee Zellweger is “considering” opening her eyes in public, but recent negotiations have resulted in a standstill.
Any updates on these stories will be posted as they come. But don’t hold your breath.
Bangarang!
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January 22nd, 2007 at 5:27 pm
First of all, a two post day! That’s epic. Second, if you don’t want to write an article for MKDC, don’t worry about it. I mean, it’s not like I get a ridiculous amount of traffic that will send people over here. I understand that you are busy. Save the material for your own site. I would probably just make you write something about Will Smith anyway. I’ve also never been the type of person who makes others uphold silly bets. If there was over 20 dollars involved, I might pursue it.
And…The Colts may still lose…but probably not…but maybe…
January 22nd, 2007 at 6:03 pm
No no, I stand by the terms of our bet. I’m just lazy and like to complain. I’ll write about Will Smith if you’d like. I can do an entire piece on actors with big appendages (like noses or ears, etc.). Whatever you want.
Re: The 2 Post Day
I’m trying an experiment. Smaller, more frequent posts designed to bring back new readers. If I see an uptick in that stat then you’ll see A LOT more posts. Albeit shorter ones. We’ll see how it all pans out.
January 23rd, 2007 at 8:33 am
As much as I enjoyed the two posts, I look forward to your longer posts. They’re much more fun b/c you have so much you want to say, the entire post is a giant non sequitur.
January 23rd, 2007 at 2:05 pm
I’ll still do the longer posts, but I may just do one per week, and then post four or five other, smaller posts. It’s all being worked out, trust me. The non-sequiturs will return.
January 1st, 2008 at 4:12 pm
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April 1st, 2008 at 11:22 am
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