I’ve been finding myself enjoying the trailers for Eddie Murphy’s new “I can’t believe I’m in a Martin Lawrence Big Momma rip off two weeks before the Oscars. Maybe I should congratulate Alan Arkin in advance” comedy Norbit. Obviously, this concerns me greatly. I generally hate Men-In-Drag movies. And I downright loathe Men-In-Big-Women Drag movies. I don’t so much mind seeing Tom Hanks or Kurt Russell play the “wow, that’s an ugly girl” bit for laughs (though Wesley Snipes and The Swayze in Too Wong Foo may have tried my patience a bit too far), but there’s something repugnant about comedians trying to wring laughs out of how grotesque a fat body looks. Robin Williams couldn’t do it for me, and neither could Martin Lawrence (either time). But for some reason, Norbit looks different.

Maybe I’m just more loyal to Eddie. Maybe I’m just hoping he’ll finally make me laugh again (I think the last time was my second viewing of Bowfinger back in 2002). Speaking of, whatever happened to Heather Graham? She was consistently great in a slew of movies and then out of nowhere she was on career life support. She went from stealing Boogie Nights away from Burt and Marky Mark to doing softcore nude scenes and guest starring on Scrubs, in like fourteen seconds. Who decided her time was up? She didn’t get heavy like Alicia Silverstone and she didn’t get boring like Natasha Henstridge, so what gives? Hollywood always trashes my favorite blonde hotties. I think somewhere there’s a landfill full of all the once-hot blonde actresses who now have no star power. That would be a hot (though probably high-maintenance) garbage dump. And if I had to guess who runs that landfill, I’d put my money on Sandra Bullock. How else can you explain her still making movies? This landfill idea definitely deserves its own column at some point.

But back to Eddie.

His continued relevance really speaks to how awesome he once was, and how desperately we hope he’ll be awesome again. I can’t think of another actor who has delivered such unrepentantly mediocre family tripe, and yet we support them on the off-chance they will one day take the shackles off and say the f-word in a Rated-R movie again. Some people miss Chris Farley. Some people miss The Chappelle Show. I miss Eddie Murphy doing blue comedy. Do I think Norbit is his long-hoped for return to edgy comedy? Not for a second. If he even says damn more than twice I’d be shocked. But maybe Dreamgirls changed him.

I hope, for his sake, that the James “Thunder” Early awards attention has made him realize he can still appeals to the adult demographic, and that he starts catering to it immediately. The success of the Shrek films only clouded his perspective. After watching those flicks make eleventy billion dollars at the box office, what yes man was really going to step up and say “Eddie, seriously, the kiddie stuff isn’t working. What about a Harlem Nights 2?” But Dreamgirls is that first ray of sunshine pushing through the clouds. And I think Norbit is the full parting of the sky. And that’s the man reason I’m supporting this flick.

I can’t imagine the embarrassment he must feel after finally receiving mass critical support and industry-wide recognition for his acting abilities, only to be forced to promote a P.O.S. Nutty Professor-clone that has no business on his new resume. His agents should be shot. Dreamgirls was on the Oscar short list before Eddie even signed on. They must have seen the dailies, or heard the buzz from the set. If they had any confidence in his performance, or in the awards chances of the movie itself, they would have pushed for Norbit to be moved back (or even shelved). Sure, Norbit is right in Eddie’s wheelhouse (nobody plays an entire cast better than Eddie) and will probably do great at the box office (what’s its competition, that Hugh Grant / Drew Barrymore musical romcom? Please.), but all the goodwill and momentum generated by the surprise Globe win and Oscar nod is derailed by the America’s collective groan of “oh, there goes Eddie doing tripe again. Somebody call Dr. Docrappy”.

I’m posting these press materials as a mitzvah to Eddie. It’s my way of saying thank you for finally being awesome again in a movie; and of begging him to stop doing stuff like Norbit, and more stuff like Dreamgirls. And my eternal hope that a little love from The Jay means he won’t unleash Beverly Hills Cop 4 on us. I’m just not ready for another Judge Reinhold era.

The Norbit Trailer:

Click the picture to go to the Norbit official site where you can send people e-cards with random faces superimposed over Eddie’s. I had a nice sized guffaw by putting Donald Trump’s face over the Norbit Character Rosie O’Donnell’s ugly mug over the Eddie Fat Woman character. I finally found a use out of those two idiots.

Here are two more exclusive clips from the movie:

Norbit is due to be released on February 9th.

And just in case you’ve forgotten what it sounds like, here’s what Eddie Murphy when he’s dropping f-bombs and actually being funny:

Bangarang!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to TheJay.com RSS Feed