kelly ripaI just read on PopWatch that Kelly Ripa is planning on airing her first Botox injection live on Regis & Kelly. While the EW.com is adamant against watching her to do this, I say what day does it air? I’ve always been intrigued by the inane and sometimes arcane things celebrities will do to make themselves younger, thinner and prettier. We always hear rumors about wacky beauty regiments, oddball diets (like Billy Bob only eating things that are orange), and other more absurd personal lifestyle practices (hello, gerbil). I commend Ripa for leading the charge in documenting her desperate attempt to remain Couric-style perky for another decade or so.

It may not get me to watch her show (Regis’s steadfast refusal to decompose like a good little corpse has become more frustrating than its worth), but it has got me thinking what other odd celebrity practices I’d like to see live on the air.

Maybe something like…

  • Donald Trump combing his hair on the next episode of The Apprentice.

  • Isaiah Washington doing anything on any episode of any show on The Logo.

  • Ryan Seacrest flat-ironing his hair and practicing “Simon Sucks!” insults into a mirror before an episode of American Idol.

  • Oprah Winfrey burning piles of cash on her show just for funsies (btw, Happy Birthday Oprah! Please don’t sue me!).

  • Orlando Bloom talking about his “process” on Inside the Actor’s Studio (and James Lipton subsequently falling asleep).

  • Barbara Walters unlatching her jaw and swallowing Rosie O’Donnell whole on The View.

  • Owen Wilson showing off his, ahem, “Butterscotching” skills, on Conan.

  • Sharon Stone searing the flesh off of Sudanese refugee babies to make the cream for her daily anti-mummification skin peel, done for a beauty segment on The Tyra Banks Show.

  • Lindsay Lohan high-kicking on The Insider. Oh wait, I already saw that…

  • Sylvester Stallone rubbing HGH cream on his old man thighs during a training montage of an episode of The Contender.

  • Nicole Ritchie and The Olsen Twins eating lunch on Emeril.

  • Nicole Ritchie and The Olsen Twins “working off” their lunch on NBC’s The Biggest Loser.

  • Charlie Sheen chatting with hookers online for G4’s Tech TV.

  • Tara Reid’s routine Sunday morning walk of shame on Entertainment Tonight.

  • Jennifer Aniston getting her nose done on Mtv’s “I Want A Famous Face!”: Angelina Jolie Edition.

Bangarang!

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