Why William Shatner Kicks Ass.

A few weeks back I was asked to review the DVD for the Comedy Central Roast of William Shatner, and without even thinking about it I said yes. And why not? Shatner kicks ass, I dig watching roasts (although they jumped the shark with Pam Anderson last year), and after all, it was a free DVD. So it arrived in the mail and I dutifully sat down to watch it. And I got some good laughs out of it. Jason Alexander was alarmingly unfunny, further enhancing the belief that he stole his entire George Costanza routine from Larry David and that beyond acting like a weasel in “Julia Roberts is a Whore” movies he doesn’t have much to offer the world. Farrah Fawcett was a train wreck of Bald Britney proportions (which was sad for all the desperate comics up on the dais who kept saying they used to masturbate to her and are now horrified at what she’s become. I say guys, welcome to the Lindsay Lohan era. Call me when she unleashes her Farrahcrotch.). And a good number of the roasters had funny stuff to say about each other and about Shatner (Kevin Pollack excluded, of course. I hadn’t remembered how unfunny he is. Maybe Jessip was right to take a cheap shot at Lt. Weinberg.).

A few days later I sat down to do some research about Shatner before writing the piece, and had a revelation. I don’t know anything about the man. Not only that, but I have never seen an episode of Star Trek: The Original Series. I’ve also never seen an episode of T.J. Hooker or Barnaby Coast. And while I’ve probably sat in front of the television while Rescue: 911 was on, I was either too little to remember it or I was busy playing with Ultimate Warrior action figures and couldn’t be bothered with the Ham Actor on the TV with a Jersey rat on his head. All I really know Shatner from is a few of the Trek movies (I liked the whale one, but for reasons that had less to do with Shatner and more to do with the scene where Bones hands a pill to an old woman begging for a new liver in a hospital and says “Grow a new one!”), The Practice / Boston Legal, National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1, Miss Congeniality and an occasional Star Trek spoof. I know him more because of his status as a pop culture icon, than because I’ve taken the time to bask in his onscreen Shatnerness.

And this bothered me as a geek. How is it that I’ve come to admire Shatner for his unique “style” of acting and general air of awesomeness, without actually partaking in the very shows that birthed said style and air? Am I allowed to like William Shatner if I don’t like Star Trek? If I’ve never read TekWar? If I don’t know how to do the Vulcan Death Grip? If I’d rather hear him say “Denny Crane” than “Captain’s Log…”? If whenever I do an impression of him it’s always the one Jim Carrey does in Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (There’s…. somethingonthewing. Some… THING!)? What is the protocol for enjoying and appreciating William Shatner?

I pondered that question for a while. This post is actually three days late because I needed an answer to that question before I could defend writing about him to myself. You’ll notice I don’t write about things I don’t know, and apparently, I don’t know shit about Shatner. But then earlier today while rewatching the Roast it hit me. I don’t know Star Trek and I still dig Captain Kirk. I watch the YouTube clips of him singing Rocket Man and I get why it’s funny. I watch the Priceline commercials and actually pay attention to what he’s saying. I watch that infamous SNL skit where he tells the nerds to get a life and I inherently understand what’s going on. When William Shatner comes on-screen I immediately sit up in my seat and start cracking a smile. Because I get the joke. Because he gets the joke.

And that’s why he’s William Shatner. And it’s why he has been a beloved pop culture icon for going on 40 years.

It doesn’t matter where you came into his career, he’s gonna seduce you anyway. Whether you’re 18 and first saw him as the Big Giant Head on 3rd Rock From The Sun. Or you’re a 16 year-old girl and first enjoyed the Shatner single-handedly pulling the albatross Miss Congeniality from the depths of later career Bullockian mediocrity. Or you are much much older, never cared for Science Fiction but saw him on the Twilight Zone, or on Hooker or you saw him on Broadway. It doesn’t matter. Shatner will get you. He gets everyone.

Who doesn’t love William Shatner? Sure, everyone can agree he’s not the best actor in town. But he’s also surely not the worst. After all, the man has won two Emmy’s and a Golden Globe in the last three years. And he’s had a career for four decades. This is akin to my “Keanu Reeves Doesn’t Suck” theory. You can’t have an extensive career in Hollywood if you suck. You just can’t. So what’s to explain Keanu toplining movies for 20 years? Or Shatner being relevant and consistently working for 40? You just cannot deny that people of this ilk have something that people want. Shatner not only knows what you want, he’s more than willing to goof on himself to give it to you. He’s cultivated the Shatner image over time, and unlike certain actors who are associated with iconic characters yet shun their fans (ahem, Han Solo), Shatner embraces his place in the cultural lexicon. He swims just fine in those waters.

He’s in on the joke. That’s the reason he’s still around. And it’s the reason I love him despite not ever having seen a second of his most famous work. And that’s the reason I was finally able to write this post.

More actors need to embrace the persona they create in the media, instead of begrudging it. Why is Meg Ryan irrelevant today? Because she turned her back on the label of “America’s Sweetheart” and tried to convince us she could do big drama. But we don’t care to see her doing that. Ditto Jim Carrey. Look at Sylvester Stallone who finally came to grips with his place in the world (he will forever be Rocky Balboa) and is now experiencing a rebirth in the public eye. Or Billy Zabka, who just directed a hilarious music video based around his Johnny character from Karate Kid twenty years later. He gets that he’ll always be the guy who swept the leg and he’s cool with it. And we are so very cool with him, and happy to have him back. When celebrities embrace that which made them celebrities in the first place, we are obliged to love them more. Shatner knows this and that’s why he rules so hard, more than 40 years after he first began his voyages on the Starship Enterprise.

I recommend everyone go out, pick up his Roast on DVD, and spend some time thinking about why you dig Shatner so much. It’ll be worth your time.

A few more quick thoughts on some of the Roasters:

Andy Dick: We find you funny when you’re grabbing Pam Anderson’s boobs or getting hauled off the Jimmy Kimmel show, not when you’re doing shtick. So less with the talking and more with the crazy drunken Carrie Fisher face-licking and widespread celebrity herpes transportation.

Patton Oswalt: Had the best joke of the night. He pulled out a paper bag and said to Shatner “Can you settle a bet between my friends and act your way out of this”.

Fred Willard: When did he start being thought of as an insult comic? I’m confused. Isn’t he supposed to be ironic funny, not funny funny? Can we get a ruling on this?

Lisa Lampanelli: She’ll never get her own sitcom or movie, but she may be the funniest comedian per capita in the business.

Artie Lange: I may not have liked you on Mad TV. Or liked your movie Beer League. Or ever cared to watch Boat Trip. But for giving me a new, awesome way to say “Whores” (pronounced “Who-ers”) I will love your comedy forever. Now start eating some salads before you pull a Chris Farley and your tombstone reads: “Here lies that drunk fat guy from the Stern show”, instead of “Here lies that drunk guy from the Stern show”.

Some clips of classic Shatnerian awesomeness for your viewing pleasure:

Bangarang!

CLICK HERE to subscribe to TheJay.com RSS Feed