Mi chamocha, you shape-shifting cockroaches!

To Jews It May Concern:

This is Mel Gibson wishing all my Hebrew brethren, the sugar-titted JAP’s and the fucking man Jews, an easy fast and an enriching day of reflection and atonement for all their sins (the war-starting, the money-grubbing, the big noses, et al) on this most festive holy day, Yom Kippur. And to that end, I, the ever-benevolent Mel Gibson, forgives you Jews. At least the ones that bankroll my movies, anyway. Oh, and all my greedy Jew lawyers that keep me out of the clink and/or rehab, of which I have many. Also, Sydney Pollack.

You’re welcome.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m wanted in Kazakhstahn. I’m going to be the Grand Marhsall in the prestigious, annual Running of the Jews Parade. It’s quite an honor.

Hugs and kisses, my hungry shape-shifting Jews!

Signed,
Mel Gibson, Mayor of Malibu