I am a giver.

I give my opinoin, wanted or not, my humor, funny or not, and my awesomeness, which is not in debate. I give myself to you dear readers, an every day act of selflessness; I open up my mindgrapes to offer you unfettered access into the bitchiest parts of my psyche. I give criticism to those who don’t need it or ask for it. I give snarky advice to those who will never hear it. I give my time to entertainment, asking in return only that it is not wasted. And I give hell when it is.

I am a giver.

I give money to the arts. I give creativity to a paying theater audience. I give kindness to celebrities in need (I’ll always have your back, Ro Do Jr.). I give Big Lebowski action figures to myself cause I’m awesome. I give hope to passionate projects that need blogger support. I give up when they make my TiVo bleed from their craptasticleness.

I am a giver.

I give love to my family and one love to my friends. I give my loyalty and respect to people who earn it, and guilt to those that piss me off. I give my eyes to the camera and my ears to the music. I give my nose to wine and my taste buds to jelly beans. And I give my junk to Claire Forlani, should she ever need it.

I am a giver, and today I give the gift of links.

As a post-Hanukkah, pre-Christmas, and present Chrismukkah present to those near and dear to me, I am posting links to projects and profiles about and for all the people in my life who happen to have ready made links to stuff on the internet. May it bring them much traffic and many fans, and may it give me a long list of people who owe me a favor. Cause you see, I may be a giver, but I am also skilled in nija art of taking. And I plan to yoink it up all through year long.

I am the givingest of givers, and here is my gift of links:

(NOTE: There is no order to this list. So don’t give me static on your placement, or I’ll boot your Katherine Heigl-ungrateful ass the hell off my 6th Best Culture Blog on the Internet.)

• If this blog ever died, I would murder Craig in his sleep and take his: HERE

• Jace is the reason I don’t write more about Television. He takes all the topics and kills them. Obviously, I hate him for this: HERE

• I found this kid off the streets of Isla Vista, brought him into the warmth of poorly funded student-run liberal arts rags, copy-edited him within an inch of his life and set him free into the wolf-infested woods of movie criticism with only a pocket knife and a copy of The Paper on DVD to protect him. Your welcome, Glenn: HERE

• Markus Flanagan is trying give this world One Less Bitter Actor (Seriously, BUY HIS BOOK!).

• Hire Jon Dabach. You pay for the craftsmanship, but you get the awesome wit for free. Free, bitches!

• Adrian is a Satin Doll. No, seriously, she’s a member of the Satin Dollz. HERE

• Erica Brauer and Kelly O’Leary get me W.E.T (I swear it’s a lot cleaner than it reads): HERE

• I dream of being as eloquent and erudite as Judy (I’m not even sure I used erudite correctly. Paging dictionary.com…): HERE

• Tamara Day has too many skills to name in just one bullet point. Girl’s a hyphenate in the truest, most kickass sense of the word. Peep her personal page: HERE

• Would you like some Fries on the Side? Go: HERE

• Jonny Green and Nar run my old haunt, NowLive.com. Catch up on the best online radio network in the galaxy, right: HERE

• Alyse Wax knows fashion, Spork-Style: HERE

• Tim isn’t just a Schultz, he’s an Evil Schultz. True story. HERE

• Barry J. Holmes takes the best pictures of me, ever. Which obviously means I love him like the Father I always have had. To see why he rules like a dumpster full of dropkicks, go: HERE

• Jessica Buttafuoco is fairly normal, considering her name. I know a LOT of fucked up Jessica’s. HERE

• I cast Kate Jackson in my first movie, but from the looks of things I should have had her man the camera. Girl can composit a frame. See why: HERE

• My boy Laboe can break it down, Kids Incorporated-style:

• Burbanked is my brother from another blogger. Remember, Burbanked born Burbanked bred Burbanked till your dead. HERE

• Kaza Kingsley is the uber-talented author of the “Erec Rec” book series, and I am honored to be interviewing her during her latest book tour in January. To read about her best-selling fantasy series, go: HERE

• Tiffany Limos is the coolest celeb I have ever made fun of then gone on to become good friends with. See her gorgeous website: HERE

• Danielle McKee is a rockstar, end of story. HERE

• Morgan Mead rocks the Clothespin (bonus points for casting me in one of his shorts and letting me work with Doug Jones. Fanboy squee!): HERE

• Audiebird wishes she were The Jay: HERE

• Bert Rotundo can retouch like a pro. He’s so good he could make House Party look like House Party 2! (Or House Party 3.) HERE

• Need headshots? Be smart, storm the Jen Castle and get it done right: HERE

• Stephanie Bentley knows when you’re bluffing.

• Jim taught me that Nobodykno.ws anything: HERE

• VickieVictoria is my favorite Boston music writer in the History of My World. And also a damn fine blogger and photographer. HERE

• Mike Galvez is a Broncos fan, but I don’t hold it against him. HERE

• Dimo brings the funny. In his bathroom.

Bathroom Rants (Halloween)

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• Kickass filmmaker Vince Grashaw is working on an upcoming cable show about a trainwreck named Todd. The show is called “Eight”. Here is one of the the personal iPhone diaries from the lead character. (for more, go HERE):

• Daniel runs the only Box Office site I check for weekend predictions: HERE

• Cast Christina Morris. Like this second. Get on that, people. See why: HERE

• Check out Mike Friedman at The Comedy Junction: HERE

• Marissa runs my all-time favorite wine bar, Alisal Cellars. Become a member: HERE

• Ravenstake makes people laugh. That’s science baby. If you want to respect science, go: HERE

• Amir Talai is hilariously buffoonish. That is all. HERE

• Addi is a SpyAnt. That is also all. HERE

• And of course, Jason IS The Jay: No link needed, cause you’re THERE, fool!

NOTE: If you are a friend of mine and I didn’t post a link for you, don’t lose your shit, I probably just forgot. Shoot me an e-mail or a text to remind me and I’ll update the post.

Bangarang!