Paula Abdul on American Idol

In an attempt to fix the mistakes of last season (booting off Melinda Doolittle, capturing Phil Stacey off his alien world of Narblot 7, allowing Sanjaya Malakar to even sniff the Top 24, making the corpse of Tony Bennett a mentor, letting the contestants sing Rob Thomas songs during Latin Week, filming Haley Scarnato’s face instead of her hot HOT gams, and not keeping the Schlitz away from The Buble), Randy, Paula, Simon and Ryan agreed to sit down and write a list of goals for how the show, and their performances, can be improved in Season Seven.

TheJay.com was lucky enough to get our hands on these goal sheets.

HEY, PAULA!

(sip)

Bapada Bipado.

Bipidi Babado.

(slurp)

I’m a dancer!

(crash)

(makes out with Simon)

Oh, Paula!

Bangarang!