TAI: Cher, do you think I’m still as pretty as we were in high school?
CHER: No, you’re a full-on Blu-Ray Monet.
TAI: What’s a Blu-Ray Monet?
CHER: It’s like a really great 1080i digital picture, see? From far away, or on a small YouTube window it’s OK, but up close, on Hi-Def, it’s a big old mess. Let’s ask a guy. Ashton, what do you think of Tai’s newly worked-on face?
ASHTON KUTCHER: Hagsville. And I would know.
CHER: See? But Tai, do you really think anyone wants to see you in movies, anymore?
TAI: What am I some sort of facially disfigured celebritard? Like Tara Reid?
CHER: No, not even. I didn’t say that. You were great on King of the Hill!
TAI: Oh, animation voice work, sure. But I’m not good enough for big budget movies, or something?
CHER: I just don’t think that you mesh well together.
TAI: You don’t think we mesh well? Did you even see Little Black Book! It’s like, why am I even listening to you to begin with? You’re just a failed teen movie star who can’t carry a TV show.
CHER: That was way harsh, Tai. I totally did a pilot last season.
TAI: Look, I’m really sorry. Let’s just talk when my collagen has mellowed and I can blink again, alright? I gotta go blow my agent now. I’m outie!
(Miss Match was kinda charming, no?)