Clueless 2: The Blu-Ray Monet

Birttany Murphy Has Some Jacked Up Lips.

Clueless still rules

TAI: Cher, do you think I’m still as pretty as we were in high school?

CHER: No, you’re a full-on Blu-Ray Monet.

TAI: What’s a Blu-Ray Monet?

CHER: It’s like a really great 1080i digital picture, see? From far away, or on a small YouTube window it’s OK, but up close, on Hi-Def, it’s a big old mess. Let’s ask a guy. Ashton, what do you think of Tai’s newly worked-on face?

Still Hate Ashton Kutcher

ASHTON KUTCHER: Hagsville. And I would know.

CHER: See? But Tai, do you really think anyone wants to see you in movies, anymore?

TAI: What am I some sort of facially disfigured celebritard? Like Tara Reid?

CHER: No, not even. I didn’t say that. You were great on King of the Hill!

TAI: Oh, animation voice work, sure. But I’m not good enough for big budget movies, or something?

CHER: I just don’t think that you mesh well together.

TAI: You don’t think we mesh well? Did you even see Little Black Book! It’s like, why am I even listening to you to begin with? You’re just a failed teen movie star who can’t carry a TV show.

CHER: That was way harsh, Tai. I totally did a pilot last season.

TAI: Look, I’m really sorry. Let’s just talk when my collagen has mellowed and I can blink again, alright? I gotta go blow my agent now. I’m outie!


(Miss Match was kinda charming, no?)


  1. Miriam says:

    This cracked me up. And the phrase “That was way harsh” is actually part of my pretty regular vocabulary :)

  2. Allison says:

    this is truly horrifying

  3. Vivien says:

    What makes some women think they look BETTER with those kind of huge lips? It’s just hideous. Yuck!

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