TAI: Cher, do you think I’m still as pretty as we were in high school?
CHER: No, you’re a full-on Blu-Ray Monet.
TAI: What’s a Blu-Ray Monet?
CHER: It’s like a really great 1080i digital picture, see? From far away, or on a small YouTube window it’s OK, but up close, on Hi-Def, it’s a big old mess. Let’s ask a guy. Ashton, what do you think of Tai’s newly worked-on face?
ASHTON KUTCHER: Hagsville. And I would know.
CHER: See? But Tai, do you really think anyone wants to see you in movies, anymore?
TAI: What am I some sort of facially disfigured celebritard? Like Tara Reid?
CHER: No, not even. I didn’t say that. You were great on King of the Hill!
TAI: Oh, animation voice work, sure. But I’m not good enough for big budget movies, or something?
CHER: I just don’t think that you mesh well together.
TAI: You don’t think we mesh well? Did you even see Little Black Book! It’s like, why am I even listening to you to begin with? You’re just a failed teen movie star who can’t carry a TV show.
CHER: That was way harsh, Tai. I totally did a pilot last season.
TAI: Look, I’m really sorry. Let’s just talk when my collagen has mellowed and I can blink again, alright? I gotta go blow my agent now. I’m outie!
Bangarang!
(Miss Match was kinda charming, no?)
This cracked me up. And the phrase “That was way harsh” is actually part of my pretty regular vocabulary :)
this is truly horrifying
What makes some women think they look BETTER with those kind of huge lips? It’s just hideous. Yuck!