Monthly Archives: March 2008

Checking In On Orlando Bloom’s Road To Non-Blandness Recovery

Yep, still bland! Even with a God-sized snot rocked coating his soft vanilla center he still cannot escape his inherent blandness. There may be no hope for him, at all. I should feel delighted seeing him get humiliated in front … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Orlando Bloom | Leave a comment

My Blog Is Better Than Your Blog

Watch the video before you read on! _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ My power is more powerful than your power. My funny is funnier. I’m Scrunchy Von Scrunch Scrunch My whoa is better than your whoa. L-I-V-I-N! My manly is more manly than your … Continue reading

Posted in Britney Spears, Celebrity, Katherine Heigl, Keanu Reeves, Lost, Matthew McConaughey, Miscellaneous Pop Culture, Paris Hilton, Rachel McAdams, Renee Zellweger, Scarlett Johansson, Steven Spielberg, The Butterscotch Stallion, Tom Cruise | 5 Comments

Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 10 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale

The first episode of Idol that actually felt like a real American Idol episode since Top 4 week of LAST SEASON. Well-produced, expertly paced, recognizable music, solid performances, cute video packages, a minimal amount of Ryan/Simon bitchiness, a maximum of … Continue reading

Posted in American Idol, American Idol: Season Seven, Television | 1 Comment

Demi Moore’s Leeches and Other Bizarre Celebrity Beauty Regimen

Looking pretty in Hollywood isn’t hard to do. Every celebrity does the same things: eat right, exercise often, get their hair done by professionals, use make-up that matches, highlights and improves their skin, kill babies and suck their blood. It’s … Continue reading

Posted in Ashton Kutcher, Celebrity, Kristen Bell, Lindsay Lohan, Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Renee Zellweger | 3 Comments

That’sfunnysmartandgreat! Five Things I Learned From the Britney HIMYM Episode

As predicted by me, Britney slam dunked her extended cameo on the alarmingly rapid decline of funny known as “How I Met Your Mother”. She was poised, professional and cleaned-up to the point of 1998 hotness. Every goal for the … Continue reading

Posted in Britney Spears, Celebritards, Cobie Smulders, How I Met Your Mother, Television | 2 Comments

The Importance Of Being On The Same Page As Your Mate

What Tony Romo Is Thinking: No huddle, on the 30, defense in Cover 2, Coach calls the smash route, my progression is key corner, then hitch underneath. If the cornerback sinks back to stop the corner route, I throw the … Continue reading

Posted in Celebritards, Jessica Simpson | Leave a comment

Ten Ways To Return Britney Spears To Brilliant Genius Status

I think we can all agree that despite the 5150′s, the Federline spawn, the going commando, the dinners with Riggs, the bi-polar manic depression and the British accent, that Britney Spears is a Brilliant Genius.*** Anyone that can change the … Continue reading

Posted in Britney Spears, Music | 8 Comments