The Wicked Witch of the West Hollywood

Devil Reese and her Devil child

Ring around the rosy, a pocket full of spears! Come little one, and I will show you how to make this city bow at your feet!!! I have conquered B-list male boytoys and swindled an Oscar, but now that we have survived our homeland freezing over, my power will be the greatest in Hollywood! Bad box office and critical drubbing for my terrible war movie aside, I’m still great enough to conquer every It-girl thrown my way.

And woe to those who try and stop me. Why my little party’s just beginning.

Jen Garner and her adorable daughter Violet

Somewhere over the 405

Way up on the Sepulveda Pass

There’s a land that I heard of

Once in an US Weekly…

Somewhere over the 405

Skies are less smoggy

And the dreams that you dare to dream

Really do come true

Some day I’ll be a movie star

And wake up where the JJ Abrams TV shows with bad ratings are FAR behind me

Where CAA agents melt like lemondrops

Away above the movie studio tops

That’s where you’ll find me

Somewhere over the 405

Academy Awards fly

Ellen Page got a nomination

Why then, oh why didn’t I?

Oh my adorable, precious Violet, the only person who might know would be the great and wonderful Wizard of Oscar himself!

Ben Affleck is The Oz

“Pay no attention to the Affleck behind the curtain.”

Reese is the Devil

“I’ll get you, my pretty… and your little Violet, too! Heheheheheheheheheheh!”

Bangarang!

4 Comments

  1. [...] Reese for the last year and a half. And while Reese can take a joke, and criticism of her work, my post about her child last month went too far. I likened Reese to the Wicked Witch of the West and her daughter Ava as the next of spawn. [...]

  2. [...] the Wicked Witch of West Hollywood unhinges her jaw like that, she’s not about to be super nice to you, she’s arming her [...]

  3. [...] yeah, does she kind of resemble the Wicked Witch of WeHo in this moment to such a degree that my soul is liquified worse than when I look at the KINGS [...]

  4. Abbie says:

    What!! Why are you being so mean to Reese Witherspoon? There is no good reason what’s she done to you? Been successful? You really shouldn’t bring her daughter into this either.

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