Mon 3 Mar 2008
The Wicked Witch of the West Hollywood
Posted by The Jay under Celebrity , Reese Witherspoon , Ben Affleck , Jennifer Garner
Ring around the rosy, a pocket full of spears! Come little one, and I will show you how to make this city bow at your feet!!! I have conquered B-list male boytoys and swindled an Oscar, but now that we have survived our homeland freezing over, my power will be the greatest in Hollywood! Bad box office and critical drubbing for my terrible war movie aside, I’m still great enough to conquer every It-girl thrown my way.
And woe to those who try and stop me. Why my little party’s just beginning.
Somewhere over the 405
Way up on the Sepulveda Pass
There’s a land that I heard of
Once in an US Weekly…
Somewhere over the 405
Skies are less smoggy
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true
Some day I’ll be a movie star
And wake up where the JJ Abrams TV shows with bad ratings are FAR behind me
Where CAA agents melt like lemondrops
Away above the movie studio tops
That’s where you’ll find me
Somewhere over the 405
Academy Awards fly
Ellen Page got a nomination
Why then, oh why didn’t I?
Oh my adorable, precious Violet, the only person who might know would be the great and wonderful Wizard of Oscar himself!
“Pay no attention to the Affleck behind the curtain.”
“I’ll get you, my pretty… and your little Violet, too! Heheheheheheheheheheh!”
Bangarang!
April 1st, 2008 at 5:49 pm
[…] Reese for the last year and a half. And while Reese can take a joke, and criticism of her work, my post about her child last month went too far. I likened Reese to the Wicked Witch of the West and her daughter Ava as the next of spawn. […]