Monthly Archives: May 2008

The Alternate Ending of The Idol Matrix

The Idol Matrix Part 1! The Idol Matrix Part 2! The Idol Matrix Part 3! EXT. HOLLYWOOD BLVD. – AFTERNOON DAVID ARCHULETA runs through the streets of Hollywood. He is being chased by a horde of screaming tween girls. He … Continue reading

Posted in American Idol, American Idol: Season Seven, Television | 1 Comment

The American Idol Season Seven Finale Live Blog

Welcome, one and all, to the two hour David Archuleta coronation special! Sub-titled “Don’t Worry, David Cook Will Be Just Fine”. No time for the intro, let’s get straight to the live blog! (Updates roll down, so make sure to … Continue reading

Posted in American Idol, American Idol: Season Seven, Television | 1 Comment

Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 2 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale

Lame gimmicky Idol introductions, bad original songwriting and Simon in a collared shirt open to his smelly Euro-happy trail? Yep, must be season finale time! I’ve been ruminating on the Battle of the Davids all week, with each looking like … Continue reading

Posted in American Idol, American Idol: Season Seven, Television | 5 Comments

10 Thoughts About the Awesome/Horrific 90210-Redo Promo

Here’s the promo for The CW’s upcoming soul-sucking remake of the greatest sideburn teen melodrama starring actors in their 30′s ever devised, Beverly Hills, 90210. Try not to vomit your childhood: I’m both utterly intrigued and completely horrified by this … Continue reading

Posted in 90210, Television | 2 Comments

The First Idol Matrix Was A Perfect Show

The Idol Matrix Part 1! The Idol Matrix Part 2! INT. AMERICAN IDOL PRODUCTION OFFICE – DAY Simon Cowell stands, staring out a window at the American Idol stage below, shimmering with brilliant stage lights. SIMON COWELL: Have you ever … Continue reading

Posted in American Idol, American Idol: Season Seven, Television | 1 Comment

Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 3 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale

I could not have been more bored by last night’s episode. I wrote a positive piece on Sarah Jessica Parker (!) instead of giving Idol my full attention. And without even looking at the screen the entire time, I was … Continue reading

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You Can Take A Horse To Water, But You Can’t Make Her Dress Properly

FREEZE!!! Why? Did I do something wrong? What… What? WHAT is that? Huh? Is there a bee on me? … no. There’s a FUCKING BUSH on you! Oh, that. Yeah, it’s my hat. Fab, right? …. I wore it too … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Sarah Jessica Parker | 2 Comments