EXT. STK RESTAURANT – WEST HOLLYWOOD – DAY
REESE walks out of the restaurant. A nearby paparazzi takes her picture. She glares at him for a moment, her squirrel chin afire with rage.
REESE: Just caught you taking my picture from less then fifteen feet away. You know how that makes my chin and harsh cheekbones look? Bitchy, that’s what. And I am not bitchy, you scurrilous cocksucker. Do you know what the Paparazzi Minimum Perimeter Law is around here?
PAPARAZZI: According to this non-binding legal document from TMZ, fifteen feet.
REESE: Put the camera down, sir.
PAPARAZZI: You’re not gonna hassle me about this. You need the PR. Your last three movies tanked and you’re getting overtaken by Katherine Heigl.
REESE: Sir, put the camera down, please.
PAPARAZZI: I can’t believe you’re gonna stop me from taking your picture. Nobody likes you anymore. You’re dating, by all accounts, a moderately talented, closeted gactor. Your ex is dating a younger, prettier version of you. You looked absurd and disingenuous on Idol Gives Back. And you don’t even have a good movie coming out this year, unless you count the Vince Vaughn holiday picture that’s getting such atrocious buzz.
REESE: Hey! I am an Oscar Winner! And America’s motherfucking Sweetheart! YOU WILL RESPECT MY CELEBRITAH!
PAPARAZZI: Yeah, right. I think I’ll go over to Doughboys and see if I can get a shot of Michelle Monaghan eating a cupcake. She sure is likeable, that Michelle!
REESE kicks him in the shins.
REESE: Don’t you dare take a picture of a nicer, cuter actress!
REESE punches him in the kidneys. Repeatedly.
PAPARAZZI: Hey! You can’t do that! Stop it! I’m telling Harvey Leven!
REESE whips out a baton and beats him within an inch of his life.
REESE: Sweet. I should have just done that to Ryan.
Bangarang!
