Monthly Archives: July 2008

Post-Earthquake Celebrity Facebook Statuses

So LA shook from it’s 2% body fat hinges this morning. After checking on the things that matter most to me in this world: my family, my friends, my 52″ Samsung LCD HDTV, I did what any clear-headed post-quake Angeleno … Continue reading

Posted in Brad Pitt, Britney Spears, Celebritards, Celebrity, Jessica Simpson, Katherine Heigl, Katie Holmes, Keanu Reeves, Matthew McConaughey, Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton, Sarah Jessica Parker, Shia LaBeouf | 4 Comments

A Response From The Shark That Bit Ryan Seacrest

Mmmm, he was dee-licious! Tasted like Kiehl’s face cream and desperation. Ooh boy, my fav! I don’t know why Ry Ry is being so huffy, who doesn’t like a boy with a good, manly scar, right? He’ll be power topping … Continue reading

Posted in American Idol, Celebrity | Leave a comment

Shia LaBeouf Is A Lying Liar From Liar Town

Shia LaBeouf promised us he was different. He told us that he was lucky to have his career, to be working with legends like Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford. That he understood the privilege it is being a well-paid movie … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Shia LaBeouf | 16 Comments

Oh Shiiiiiiiia!

OOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH SHIIIIIIAAAAAA!!!!! You make me feel like a car crash victim! Bangarang! [ | | | ]

Posted in Celebrity, Shia LaBeouf | Leave a comment

Reese Witherspoon Has Some Competition For Her Man

WOOOHOOOO!!! FUCKIN WOOOOOO, BAAAAAYBEEEEE! I feel like such a MAN right now! Like I could wear socks with my sandals and nobody would give me shit. Cause if they did, I’d cut them with my man-sword. I wonder if I … Continue reading

Posted in Bad Celebrity Pictures, Celebrity, Jake Gyllenhaal, Reese Witherspoon | Leave a comment

Jeremy Piven Develops New Yoga Pose

Posted in Celebrity, Jeremy Piven | Leave a comment

J.K. P-A-R-E-N-T-I-N’

Well alright, alright, alright! It’s a boy. Jager bombs for everyone! Let’s do this Daddy thang! My own little Mini-McConaughey… wow. My stokage level is set to “awesome” and my inner chi is rocked for crazy trimana! Time for Papa … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Matthew McConaughey | 4 Comments