Ari

It’s called “Douchebag 1″.

It is performed by first standing in Tadansa. With an exhale, step or lightly jump your feet 3 1/2 to 4 feet apart. Raise your right leg perpendicular to your torso, and reach actively through your left side as you grab the end of your foot. Extend your right arm, and with a smooth movement, grip your iPhone and proceed to text dirty messages to grossed out female extras you accosted on the set of your hit HBO male-bonding comedy.

For an extra workout, lean forward through your toes, clench your scalpel and try to balance your toupee on your forehead.

The pose strengthens your quadriceps muscles, loosens your hamstrings and elongates your narcissism. You should feel your breath flow out through esophagus as your raging ego anchors you to the ground.

If done correctly, the beleaguered production assistant standing behind you should only mildly roll their eyes at you, instead of surreptitiously snapping a cell phone pic of your pose and immediately sending it to Gawker along with a pithy comment about how even with two Emmy’s you still aren’t out of John Cusack’s shadow.

If this does not succeed, try tipping the PA with a free DVD copy of Entourage: Season One. That seems to work wonders.

Namaste!

Average Rating: 4.6 out of 5 based on 152 user reviews.

About Jason Matthews

Jason Matthews is the head writer for TheJay.com. The site has been nominated for two Weblog Awards (Best Culture Blog, 2006 & 2007), and has been featured on more than 100 websites, including the IMDB, Defamer, College Humor, USA Today’s Pop Candy (Written by Whitney Matheson), Entertainment Weekly’s PopWatch, BestWeekEver.tv, Gorilla Mask and eBaum’s World. Jason is also an accomplished playwright. He is currently the Writer-in-Residence at the Ruskin Group Theatre, where through their showcase “Café Plays”, he has written and produced forty-five one-act plays, and premiered his full-length debut comedy ‘Four Night Stand’ to a sold out six-week run in Spring 2010. In addition to his work online and in theatre, Jason was the host of PopLoad on NowLive.com from January – May 2007, and was the Editor-in-Chief of the popular Santa Barbara-based arts magazine CampusPOINT from June 2000 – June 2002. He has a Bachelor’s Degree in Film Studies from UC Santa Barbara, and an intense love for Ben Affleck and Keanu Reeves. Find Jason Matthews on Twitter @ www.Twitter.com/jasonamatthews
This entry was posted in Celebrity, Jeremy Piven. Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

*

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>