It’s called “Douchebag 1″.
It is performed by first standing in Tadansa. With an exhale, step or lightly jump your feet 3 1/2 to 4 feet apart. Raise your right leg perpendicular to your torso, and reach actively through your left side as you grab the end of your foot. Extend your right arm, and with a smooth movement, grip your iPhone and proceed to text dirty messages to grossed out female extras you accosted on the set of your hit HBO male-bonding comedy.
For an extra workout, lean forward through your toes, clench your scalpel and try to balance your toupee on your forehead.
The pose strengthens your quadriceps muscles, loosens your hamstrings and elongates your narcissism. You should feel your breath flow out through esophagus as your raging ego anchors you to the ground.
If done correctly, the beleaguered production assistant standing behind you should only mildly roll their eyes at you, instead of surreptitiously snapping a cell phone pic of your pose and immediately sending it to Gawker along with a pithy comment about how even with two Emmy’s you still aren’t out of John Cusack’s shadow.
If this does not succeed, try tipping the PA with a free DVD copy of Entourage: Season One. That seems to work wonders.
Namaste!
