FUCKIN WOOOOOO, BAAAAAYBEEEEE!
I feel like such a MAN right now! Like I could wear socks with my sandals and nobody would give me shit. Cause if they did, I’d cut them with my man-sword.
I wonder if I can get this hat in beige?
Riding this hard, tough, hot stallion is the best! It’s a good thing Reese is tighter than a five pound kettle drum, or I’d be having second, third and foursies thoughts about Zoo-ing up this bitch!
My crotch feels electric pinned against this leather saddle. Like climbing the rope in gym class, but multipled by a factor of rainbows. Oh boy, this must be what being a Power Top feels like!
I love running my hands through mah steed’s lush mane. It reminds me of that one night Matty McCons was on the right side of the bi-line and I bongoed my own little Brokeback sequel… nah what I mean, brah? Hand spit, like a mofo! (R.I.P. Heath!)
That reminds me… I should have my agent set up lunch with Owen Wilson. I would definitely be WOOOING if I got to ride The Butterscotch Stallion. That Butterscotch Stallion is so hot right now. Butterscotch Stallion.
This must be what Matthew Broderick feels like every night!