Shia LaBeouf promised us he was different.
He told us that he was lucky to have his career, to be working with legends like Steven Spielberg and Harrison Ford. That he understood the privilege it is being a well-paid movie star. He swore up and down that he wouldn’t do anything to screw it up. We would not be seeing Shia LaBeouf behind bars, doing drugs, getting into fights or getting caught drunk in public, he said. But after getting arrested in a Rite-Aid for being a drunken nuisance, getting caught on film dropping the gay F-bomb and getting bitch slapped, and now, driving drunk, hitting someone and rolling his car, it’s safe to assume one thing:
Shia LaBeouf is a LIAR.
Every promise he’s made in the press, he’s gone back on. He swore that he would not bring down Indy 4, but there he was, swinging on an effing vine like Tarzan, ruining the movie. He swore that after the “misunderstanding” of getting arrested he would walk the straight and narrow, clean up his act, and just focus on his career. And yet, Shia LaBeouf now has a misdemeanor DUI on his record, and a mangled hand. So, yeah…
Shia LaBeouf is a damn fool fibber.
Now we all know Shia is the mayor of Lieville. But what many of you may not know is that Shia’s lies extend beyond his career and celebrity. He’s also a liar in read life. Let me tell you of his many tall tales:
- Shia claimed to be 5’10, but we went back to back and he didn’t even come up to my neck!
- Shia promised he’d make it to my birthday party, but he flaked. Not even a text message to tell me why. Rude bastard.
- Shia claimed he scored 50,000 points on Double Dragon, but only The Wizard can do that!
- Shia said he knew all the words to REM’s “It’s the End of the World As We Know It”, but I saw him do karaoke and he only knew the chorus. He screamed out Leonard Bernstein at the right time, but that’s the easy part!
- Shia swore he wouldn’t take any of my fries, but when I came back from the bathroom, they were all gone. I told him “Dude, you have your own plate of fries”! And you know what his response was? “Your fries taste better than mine.” That doesn’t even MAKE SENSE!
- Shia tries to come off like he really knows all 500 of his MySpace friends, but I think he just adds any random person who friend requests him. What a MySpace whore!
- Shia always brags that he can dunk on a regulation hoop, but every time we ask him to show us he plays it off like he tweaked his ankle the other day. Poseur!
- Shia told me he was a Britney fan, but when I checked out his iPod, do you know what I found? All three Christina Aguilera records! That’s just bad taste.
- Shia is ALWAYS bluffing in Poker.
- Shia says his favorite comedians are Patton Oswalt, Richard Pryor, Kristen Wiig and 80′s Eddie Murphy, but I know the real truth. When no one is around, and it’s just Shia and the wind, he likes to sit down on his couch, pop open a Bud Light and watch Dane Cook comedy specials.
- Shia promised it wasn’t him, but as we all know, he who denied it, supplied it.
Oh, Shia!
Once again the lies all come out and you tell the truth. Thanks for keeping hollyweird honest
This makes me HAPPY. Best celeb news in a long time. He’s just a punk ass Hollywood prick. You didn’t fool me Shia!
I know someone who went to high school with him and said he was a little douchebag even back then… some things never change.
BTW: Shia once told me he could tell the difference between I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter and the real deal…
he still makes me feel like a schoolgirl…
:0(
You guys are assholes. Leave him alone. What, just because he’s a celebrity, he’s not aloud to go out and drink and act like a normal person? You all know damn well you’ve been out drinking and acting like an idiot atleast a handfull of times in your life. So shut the fuck up, douchebag’s.
Are you about to condone Shia’s drinking AND driving? Cause, really?
Get a sense of humor and some sense, Karma.
Love,
The Jay
I’m pretty sure the REM lyric is Leonard Bernstein and not Elmer Bernstein…
You’re totally right, Craig. I’m amazed I didn’t catch that. It’s changed. Thanks!
i like him ,i like how he acts in his movies,he’s a good actor,he’s talented,you can’t deny that,and that’s what matters..who cares about his personal life!!
seriously, WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK?….he’s probably lying on purpose so that no one would know anything about him, duh! stop being nosey and leave him the fuck alone. I’m still gonna be his #1 fan no matter WHAT people say…keep your head up Shia :) i love u
Dude Shia’s a big fat liar and we know this but he wasn’t drunk he wasn’t even charged with the DUI and he stuck around and faced the music. Fuck I wouldn’t have done that lol he’s a class act and indy 4 ruled.
I agree with you guys? Who cares about his personal life? I like him too. He is a very promising actor. After seeing Disturbia, Transformers, Indiana Jones 4 and Eagle Eye, I was very impressed by his acting performance and became a fan.
GUYS and GALS! The Jay is fresh and funny pop culture, so don’t take everything so literally! I think the article is a scream! I’m still laughing from all this because if you ever met this you would know there is a ring of truth in all it.
The omitted word is “prick”
that is the most adoable mugshot i have ever seen.
Shia is not a liar. This is a lie that is written here about him. And okay. If he is a liar. Why is that your problem!?!?
He can do and say what ever that he like. And okay…. He didn’t come to your birthday. But he sayd that he whould come. Guess what. He whas just saying that to get rid of some bitch like YOU!!