Monthly Archives: September 2008

Ben Affleck Remembers Dem Good Ole Days…

Yep, I remember dem good ole days. Back when I was one of them actor folk. Life was pretty chill. Mostly just sat around, drankin beers, playin cards, sleeping with narrow blonde women. Occasionally I did sumdat pretendin stuff. Money … Continue reading

Posted in Ben Affleck, Ben Affleck: Workin Man, Celebrity | 1 Comment

Wait. WAIT! Clay Aiken is Hu-WHAT NOW?

Hole up, People Magazine. HOLEUP! Are you trying to tell me that Clay Aiken, CLAY AIKEN, is a gay? I am shocked. That is SHOCKING! I can’t measure the level of shock that is me right now. I am quite … Continue reading

Posted in American Idol | 1 Comment

Eddie Murphy Really Needs To Rethink His PR Strategy

I’m doing this one Gossip Girl-style (cause I’m nothing if not a teenage girl): Spotted on the 405: Eddie M, going the extra mile this morning to promote his latest comedy abortion. Guess no one told him Meet Dave’s friend … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Eddie Murphy, Eddie Murphy's Giant Head | 22 Comments

Adrien Brody Is Severely Lowering His Standards

Uber be-schnozzed Oscar winner Adrien Brody, known well for being the worst looking A-list actor this side of Tobey Maguire’s vagina face, known currently for getting outclassed and outacted by one Mr. Benjamin Geza Affleck in Hollywoodland, and known best … Continue reading

Posted in Adrien Brody, Celebrity | 1 Comment

Translating Britney Spears’ VMA Awards Acceptance Speeches

Did you SEE? Did you see how good our girlfriend DID? She looked fantastic! She was funny and fierce and on point! Charming a rapidly unfunny Jonah Hill, opening the show like a pro, winning three awards and looking like … Continue reading

Posted in Britney Spears, Celebritards | 3 Comments

Harry Partypooper

You’re enjoying your wizarding day, every spell is going your way, then along comes Harry Partypooper! Always there to tell you about someone else who’s died, a duel that went bad or a muggle who got fried! You’ll beg him … Continue reading

Posted in Celebrity, Harry Potter | 2 Comments

The 50 Reasons 90210 Is the Greatest/Worst Thing in the History of Time, Space and Recorded Existence

And before we begin, let me just set the record straight: there are WAY more than 50 reasons. That’s merely the highest number I felt you could tolerate before my excessive salivating over an obnoxious trainwreck of a teen melodrama … Continue reading

Posted in 90210, Television | 5 Comments