The Scariest Thing You Will See on Halloween

If you look directly at it, your face will melt.

If you stare at it for ten seconds a ring will appear. You now have seven days to live.

If you see it in a Haunted House, it’s already too late.

If you say her name five times, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde will suddenly appear on all your cable movie channels.

If you are frightened, watch a Nightmare on Elm Street movie, it’ll calm you down. Freddy Krueger is Mary Poppins in comparison.

If you think it’s cute, never read this site again.

Happy Halloween, kids.

PS: This is the second scariest:

I weep for Josh(ua) Kelley. (But not so much for Jake Gyllenhaal. He brought that shit on himself.)

Bangarang!