If you look directly at it, your face will melt.
If you stare at it for ten seconds a ring will appear. You now have seven days to live.
If you see it in a Haunted House, it’s already too late.
If you say her name five times, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde will suddenly appear on all your cable movie channels.
If you are frightened, watch a Nightmare on Elm Street movie, it’ll calm you down. Freddy Krueger is Mary Poppins in comparison.
If you think it’s cute, never read this site again.
Happy Halloween, kids.
PS: This is the second scariest:
I weep for Josh(ua) Kelley. (But not so much for Jake Gyllenhaal. He brought that shit on himself.)