Um, excuse me, miss? Hi, sorry to bother you, you look like you’re in a rush. I just need a quick minute. See, I’m supposed to pick up this actress, but I can’t seem to find her. I was wondering if you may have seen her: Kate Winslet? Do you know who that is? She’s British? Was the redhead in that boat movie with Leo DiCaprio awhile back?
Maybe? No? She’s sometimes hard to recognize. Let me describe she looks like:
She usually dresses kind dowdy. Never in something stylish like what you have on. Doesn’t wear a lot a make up. And she’s pale. Really pale! I mean, like, BRITISH pale. Which is a whole new level of pale. Basically, take the color of your skin, then picture the COMPLETE opposite. That’s what Kate Winslet looks like.
Also, her hair is kinda dirty blonde. Like, a mousy brownish blonde. Something forgettable and dull. She could use some highlights. Badly. For real, she should really take a cue from your hair, but you know those uptight Brits, always thumbing their nose at bottled blondes.
And, OK, don’t repeat this, but she’s kinda thick. NOT fat! Not fat at all. But girl has curves. Like, regular person curves. She wishes she was thin and hot like you, knowwhatI’msayin? I mean, in her wildest dreams, and with help from some full-on CGI wizardry, she only WISHES she could look as amazing as you. But like that’s ever gonna happen, right? Right!
Anyway… if you see her around, can you let her know I’m waiting for her? That’d be great. Thanks.
Bangarang!
She’s looking pretty hot, seen the pics of her in the ‘dress’?? Ohhhh she looks good!
I like the old Kate better. Here she just looks like a generic Hollywood bimbo. She was respected by women everywhere for not falling into Hollywood’s super-thin, platinum blond, orange spray tan trap. Guess that’s over.