Monthly Archives: January 2009

Russell Crowe Achieves the Impossible: The Standing Position

One can only assume that after celebrating his remarkable victory over gravity, the portly Oscar winner went straight for an immediate post-stand buffet at the lard shack. Cause god forbid somone paid to keep his figure in a manageable shape … Continue reading

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Her Morning Elegance, Your Morning Awesome

Remember when I promised to start sharing with you things that are awesome? PROMISE? FULFILLED! Put some eyes on the uh…may..ZING “Her Morning Elegance” video from Oren Lavie. I don’t know if it was done through Peter Gabriel Sledgehammer-style stop … Continue reading

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A Message From Britney Spears’ Abs

OMG, ya’ll, we are so hungry! We don’t even what happened. One day we were in hog heaven. Literal “hog” “heaven”, she used to feed us a whole pig once every Saturday (we called it “Hogurday”). And then the next … Continue reading

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Osama Bin Joaquin: Explained

A study was released today focusing on the link between uncommon boys names and penchant for a malicious activity. In the study, David E. Kalist and Daniel Y. Lee of Shippensburg University in Pennsylvania found that boys with unpopular names … Continue reading

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The Brand New Look of

Yes, like the aging celebrity desperately hoping for one more ride on the Celebreality Rodeo, I have pulled a Paula and given a full nip, lift, tuck and roll to We went from this: To this: It’s a cleaner, … Continue reading

Posted in Life and Times of The Jay | 1 Comment

2009 Oscar Nominations Reactions

BEST PICTURE – THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON – FROST/NIXON – MILK – THE READER – SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE Overall Thoughts: Obvious choices in a boring, forgettable year of film. Everyone with eyes and a working brain knew Button, Frost, … Continue reading

Posted in 2009 Academy Awards, Oscars | 5 Comments

Eva Mendes Is The Most Desirable… Hu-What Now?

So let me get this right: surveys its readers and staff to determine the Most Desirable Woman of 2009 and Eva Mendes is who they chose? Really? I’m supposed to believe that given a list where the “winner” is … Continue reading

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