The Jay: BOOF! Eyebrows. Also? Punim.
Audiebird: Jesus Christ. She’s a fucking angel.
The Jay: ANGel!
Audiebird: A perfect, woman-girl, break-the-law, fuckable angel.
The Jay: Whose wings I will grab with fists, pull tight and take away her halo.
Audiebird: While LISTENING to Beyonce’s “Halo”
/silence; Audiebird and The Jay stare at Dakota for 35 minutes.
The Jay: I will now compose a Dear John letter to Emma Watson, thanking her for her time as my number one all-time illegal girl crush; her services will no longer be required.