Yes, like the aging celebrity desperately hoping for one more ride on the Celebreality Rodeo, I have pulled a Paula and given a full nip, lift, tuck and roll to TheJay.com.
We went from this:
It’s a cleaner, more streamlined-look; one that makes the site look like it wasn’t made in 1994 using Windows 95, even though it practically was. Now we’re all shiny and new. Like Lara Flynn Boyle. We have that vital, youthful look that Brad Pitt was sporting in the 74th hour of that BENJAMIN BUTTONS SHIT. Kate Winslet in The Reader is considering banging us while she baths and we read posts to her about Clooney and The President being cool cats.
Even that austere dude from Project Runway likes our outfit. And he’s on cable, so his opinion MUST be valid.
Please bear with me over the next few days as I tweak the code and fix bugs. Posts may disappear, functions may not work, things may look screwy now and again, but like I said, I pulled a Paula Abdul, what else do you expect?
Here are all the changes I made to the site:
New WordPress Template. Thank you to Prime Press for the design, and thank you to Nar Williams for inspiring the new look.
New Headbar(s). The new template actually supports rotating headbars, so you’ll be see different ones randomly pop up very soon. Thoughts on the new, blue-tinted, tiled headbar?
New Recent Posts box, so you won’t need to scroll down to see if you missed anything.
New RATINGS SYSTEM for posts. This one’s a biggie! At the bottom of every post is a ten-star rating slider; please start rating every post you read. I’ll be using the data to determine what you crazy kids actually want to read on this site (cause I’m sure you’re getting tired of the endless Keanu, Reese and Affleck stuff)
Wider main column, which means bigger pictures of Renee Zellweger looking like ass on the red carpet.
Navigation links are now above the headbar.
Better archive system. Click on any month/category to search for a post and you will see it is MUCH easier to navigate. And prettier, too.
A big, fat, giant RSS button right at the top of the Sidebar. Please add TheJay.com to your RSS Feed, kids. People much geekier (read: smarter) than I tell me this is important.
Continued hatred of Reese Witherspoon. Because some things never change.
A three-column sidebar I plan to load up with widgets. Is there something you recommend I install? A clock, perhaps? Or an entertainment news and gossip aggregator? I’m up for suggestions.
The introduction to the word “boof” in every one of my posts. The word is here to stay, so get used to it. Iterations on the word will also permeate my writing. Please adjust your bookmarks accordingly.
You might have already noticed this: shorter posts. But more of them! Honest to blog (and death to Juno), you can expect 20-30 posts every month from this point forward. They won’t always be snippets, and they won’t always be essays, but on a week-to-week basis, there will be a whole heckuva lot more content.
A more positive atmosphere, both in look and feel. The site was getting too cranky. This was unacceptable. People with money and jobs to give me are people who want to have a good time on the net, and since I’m not offering boobs or free nachos, relatively upbeat content is my only recourse. Sure, if a celebrity drops a shenanigans bomb, I’ll be there to call “idiot” on them, but for the most part, I’ll be writing more and more about things I like and things that are awesome. Because talking about things that are awesome is awesome.
And finally, at the request of many, more of The Jay on TheJay.com. More pictures, more about my life, more of me. I guess it’s important to actually be visible on a site named after you. Who knew?
Hope you all the like the new look. If you do, great, leave a comment and let me know! If you don’t, dude, go eff yourself. Why don’t you go watch Mad Men and get some taste, already. Idiot. I hate you.
…the positivity thing is gonna take some time.
(Follow me on Twitter @jasonamatthews)
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