SJP And The Jay Go For A Very Important Walk

Sarah Jessica Parker gallops down the road with The Jay.

SJP: Where we goin’, Jay?

The Jay: We’re going for some ice cream, SJP. Would you like that? Would you like some ice cream?

SJP: Oh yes, I LOVE ice cream. Neeeeeeeeigh!

The Jay: … right.

SJP: What flavor you gonna get?

The Jay: Orange Sherbet.

SJP: Oh yes, I like that flavor. Hee hee, that’s what Catrall and I and used to call Cynthia Nixon’s junk. Cause it was orange! Get it? Orange sherbet, orange junk?

The Jay: Very clever.

SJP: Yeah, I’ve gotten funnier, and classier, in my old age.

The Jay: Speaking of old age, it’s been a quite a good run for you.

SJP: Yeah, I’ve done a lot. Television, movies, theater, a beard. But there’s still life in me. More projects. More ridiculous outfits. More Kentucky Derby’s. …probably more beards.

The Jay: You think so?

SJP: I feel great. Truth be told, I think I have a good 20-30 years left in me.

The Jay: Wouldn’t that be nice.

SJP: Yeah. …wait a minute! This isn’t the way to the Ice Cream shop! Where are we going?

SJP: Jay? No!

The Jay: I’m sorry, SJP. This is the way it has to be.

SJP: But why?

The Jay: You know the wall?

SJP: I hit it?

The Jay: Dear, you hit it so long ago the remains have eroded into salt.

SJP: /whinnies sadly

The Jay: This is for the best. Really it is.

SJP: I knew things were bad, I just did realize how bad.

The Jay: Let me show you.

SJP: You’re right. …Do you think they’ll turn me into a glue stick or that white paste all the Tommy Boy’s eat?

The Jay: I’ll make sure it’s both.

SJP: Thanks Jay, you’ve always been a good friend to me.

The Jay: I know.

SJP: Tell Matthew I love him?

The Jay: Aww SJP, no.

SJP: It’s been a good life. A good life, indeed.

The Jay: SJP, would you do it for me one last time? For old times sake.

SJP: Sure. My name is SanDeE*, spelled big S, small a, small n, big D, small e, big E, with a star.

The Jay: Awesome.

SJP: Goodbye, Jay.

Sarah trots into the factory.

The Jay: Sarah Jessica?

SJP: Yeah?

The Jay: You were good.

SJP: Neieeeegh.

The Jay: (choking up) … you were good.

Sarah disappears into the factory.

The Jay: Vio con dios, horseyface.

Bangarang!