I’ve been writing this blog for close to three and a half years; in that time I wrote more than 400 (suspect to hilarious) posts and was read by more than a million people. I have been linked across the net, spotlighted by some of the biggest websites there is and was nominated and won a slew of awards. Also, I got to make fun of Reese Witherspoon a lot.
It was a good run.
I just don’t find celebrity shenanigans interesting, anymore. And I don’t have that much to be angry about, anymore. Britney is back to normal, Keanu is working towards respect, Tom Hanks has his hair under control, Mad Men is universally renowned, Friday Night Lights just got renewed for two seasons, American Idol is Boring, Paris Lindsay and Nicole are afterthoughts and Orlando Bloom is dead.
What else is there to talk about?
And I just don’t have the time. Concluding my tour of “Things You Don’t Know About The Jay”, I’m actually a playwright. And I have a show running for the next three weeks in LA (Come see it! CLICK HERE FOR DETAILS!), and a show I’m ramping up for the Fall; I need to be focusing on words that will have a lasting effect on art, and not a tossed off insult about Shia LaBeouf’s relative craziness. Nothing may ever disappear on the Internet, but nearly EVERYthing gets forgotten about. Theatre endures.
I want my work to endure.
But the bottom line is this: after a time, there is no cleverness in hate. I don’t like not liking things. True to fact, there’s very few things I ACTually hate. And grudges are just tacky. I’m a liker of things. And in this day and age of sarcasm and irony and hate as an Olympic sport, liking things has become an act of courage. I’m looking to get my Red Badge of Web Courage. Unfortunately, love blogs aren’t interesting. No one wants to read a 900-word love letter to Ryan Seacrest four times a week (and let me tell you, I could go 5200 words on the topic). If there was a way to be funny and relevant and positive I’d do it, but there isn’t, and besides, I’m the only who thinks this way, anyway.
I have no interest in being cranky.
I’ll probably do another blog; most likely two or three, in fact, and most likely not about entertainment. I’ll try new things; see if I can’t figure out the next great blog idea. I’m gonna take some time off of the Internet, recharge my blog batteries and be back someday soon. So keep your eyes open for The Jay…
I can’t thank you all enough for taking time out of your lives to read my silly musings on the world of celebrity. I wrote every joke for you, just for you. I’ll miss hearing what you think of my thoughts, miss having random friends complimenting me on a post or thanking me for a good laugh. I’ll miss having a place for my sarcastic voice. But all good things must come to an end. And this good thing is over. You have been a great audience and I was proud to entertain you.
I’ll end my post, my website, with that most familiar Lost Boys refrain, that joyous exclamation, my signature line…
APRIL FOOLS, BITCHES!!!!
The Jay ain’t going NOWHERE! And I hate more things than EVER! Suck it, Reese! Get effed, Danny Gokey! You’re still bland, Orlando Bloom! MORE HATE! More of all of it! FOREVER.
Sack in, kiddies, it’s gonna be a long time before this guy shuts up and shuts it down.