Category Archives: Celebritards

Harper’s Globe: Episode 1 – “Fresh Start”

I’m gonna need you to get ahead and watch this video. IMMETES. In continuing my recent “you might not know this about The Jay” Tour, I wanted to tell you that when I’m not online skewering celebrities and on my … Continue reading

Posted in Life and Times of The Jay, Lindsay Lohan, Miscellaneous Pop Culture, Television | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Grading the American Idol Season Eight Top 13 on the TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale

Oh, TiVo Multi-Bloop, how I missed you so! On those long audition rounds when I yearned for your sweet mercy. In Hollywood Week whilst enduring the aural torture that was Bikini Girl. During the Top 36 when I kept fighting … Continue reading

Posted in American Idol, American Idol: Season Eight, American Idol: Season Seven, Lindsay Lohan, Television | Tagged , , | 5 Comments

Translating Britney Spears’ VMA Awards Acceptance Speeches

Did you SEE? Did you see how good our girlfriend DID? She looked fantastic! She was funny and fierce and on point! Charming a rapidly unfunny Jonah Hill, opening the show like a pro, winning three awards and looking like … Continue reading

Posted in Britney Spears, Celebritards | 3 Comments

Post-Earthquake Celebrity Facebook Statuses

So LA shook from it’s 2% body fat hinges this morning. After checking on the things that matter most to me in this world: my family, my friends, my 52″ Samsung LCD HDTV, I did what any clear-headed post-quake Angeleno … Continue reading

Posted in Brad Pitt, Britney Spears, Celebritards, Celebrity, Jessica Simpson, Katherine Heigl, Katie Holmes, Keanu Reeves, Matthew McConaughey, Mel Gibson, Paris Hilton, Sarah Jessica Parker, Shia LaBeouf | 4 Comments

My Blog Is Better Than Your Blog

Watch the video before you read on! _________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________ My power is more powerful than your power. My funny is funnier. I’m Scrunchy Von Scrunch Scrunch My whoa is better than your whoa. L-I-V-I-N! My manly is more manly than your … Continue reading

Posted in Britney Spears, Celebrity, Katherine Heigl, Keanu Reeves, Lost, Matthew McConaughey, Miscellaneous Pop Culture, Paris Hilton, Rachel McAdams, Renee Zellweger, Scarlett Johansson, Steven Spielberg, The Butterscotch Stallion, Tom Cruise | 5 Comments

Demi Moore’s Leeches and Other Bizarre Celebrity Beauty Regimen

Looking pretty in Hollywood isn’t hard to do. Every celebrity does the same things: eat right, exercise often, get their hair done by professionals, use make-up that matches, highlights and improves their skin, kill babies and suck their blood. It’s … Continue reading

Posted in Ashton Kutcher, Celebrity, Kristen Bell, Lindsay Lohan, Matthew McConaughey, Reese Witherspoon, Renee Zellweger | 3 Comments

That’sfunnysmartandgreat! Five Things I Learned From the Britney HIMYM Episode

As predicted by me, Britney slam dunked her extended cameo on the alarmingly rapid decline of funny known as “How I Met Your Mother”. She was poised, professional and cleaned-up to the point of 1998 hotness. Every goal for the … Continue reading

Posted in Britney Spears, Celebritards, Cobie Smulders, How I Met Your Mother, Television | 2 Comments