The Jay: BOOF! Eyebrows. Also? Punim.
Audiebird: Jesus Christ. She’s a fucking angel.
The Jay: ANGel!
Audiebird: A perfect, woman-girl, break-the-law, fuckable angel.
The Jay: Whose wings I will grab with fists, pull tight and take away her halo.
Audiebird: While LISTENING to Beyonce’s “Halo”
/silence; Audiebird and The Jay stare at Dakota for 35 minutes.
The Jay: [...]
Posts under ‘Dakota Fanning’
I’m Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman…
Testing the Accuracy of a Google Celebrity Image Search
As a entertainment blogger it’s important that I’m able to find just the right picture to go with a particular story. If I’m writing about, say, Tara Reid being a model citizen, as I do, and I type “Tara Reid Model Citizen” into the Google Image search, it’s imperative I find just the right [...]
If Celebrities Were Transformers
In many ways celebrities are exactly like Transformers. They may walk through the day in their “civilian” form, but when the time comes they transform into all manner of characters (doctors, lawyers, cowboys, the pervert from Happiness played by Phillip Seymour Hoffman; which should not be confused with the pervert he played in Boogie [...]
21 Birthday Wishes For Lindsay Lohan
Today, I, and the rest of the world, or at least the Hollywood tabloidista, will honor the birth of one of the entertainment industry’s biggest and best coked out, rehab-shucking, talent-eroding, knife-wielding, weight dropping, boytoy banging, crazy as hell Celebritards since the Olsen twins turned eighteen. Yes, that’s right, batten down the hatches, order [...]
Celebrity Well Wishes For Julia Roberts And Her New Baby Henry
As is tradition at TheJay.com, we’d like to take the time to honor and celebrate the birth of celebrity off-spring. And there’s no better way to do that then by supposing what some other big name celebrities might be saying to the proud, new parents. And by new parents I mean just Julia [...]
Actresses Who Need To Get Naked (to improve their careers)
This weekend brings us The Prestige, a flick about dueling magicians, as well as being yet another in a string of movies this year to star the dewy blonde fleshpot, Scarlett Johansson. And while many people will be going to see Batman and Wolverine duke it out to see who gets to kill David Blaine’s great-great grandfather, an even greater number of people will be going for one simple reason: to see if Scarlett finally, at long last, gets naked. Well, I’ll save you all some time. She doesn’t.
