Love

and Other

Drugs

James L. Brooks could take a movie title naming lesson or two from the Jakester.

Bangarang!

When the Wicked Witch of West Hollywood unhinges her jaw like that, she’s not about to be super nice to you, she’s arming her primary weapon.

This is what Jake Gyllenhaal sees when the doors are locked. In a completely heterosexual way, I weep for his penis.

Bangarang!

WOOOHOOOO!!!

FUCKIN WOOOOOO, BAAAAAYBEEEEE!

I feel like such a MAN right now! Like I could wear socks with my sandals and nobody would give me shit. Cause if they did, I’d cut them with my man-sword. And I don’t even mean my penis this time!

I wonder if I can get this hat in beige?

Riding this hard, tough, hot stallion is the best! It’s a good thing Reese is tighter than a five pound kettle drum, or I’d be having second, third and foursies thoughts about Zoo-ing up this bitch!

My crotch feels electric pinned against this leather saddle. Like climbing the rope in gym class, but multipled by a factor of rainbows. Oh boy, this must be what being a Power Top feels like! If only that was in my character. Le sigh…

I love running my hands through mah steed’s lush mane. It reminds me of that one night Matty McCons was on the right side of the bi-line and I bongoed my own little Brokeback sequel… nah what I mean, brah? Hand spit, like a mofo! (R.I.P. Heath!)

That reminds me… I should have my agent set up lunch with Owen Wilson. I would definitely be WOOOING if I got to ride The Butterscotch Stallion. That Butterscotch Stallion is so hot right now. Butterscotch Stallion.

Neeeeigh!

This must be what Matthew Broderick feels like every night!

Bangarang!