Celebrities are always being credited, or should I say blamed, with starting trends. Jennifer Beals caused a nation of woman to massacre their sweaters, Woody Harrelson made white guys think they could hoop, George Clooney is responsible for the raft of Caesar haircuts that lamed across America back in the 90’s, and so on [...]
Posts under ‘Matthew McConaughey’
Post-Earthquake Celebrity Facebook Statuses
So LA shook from it’s 2% body fat hinges this morning. After checking on the things that matter most to me in this world: my family, my friends, my 52″ Samsung LCD HDTV, I did what any clear-headed post-quake Angeleno does when our fair city performs it’s occasional Tommy Lee Jones failed disaster flick [...]
J.K. P-A-R-E-N-T-I-N’
Well alright, alright, alright!
It’s a boy. Jager bombs for everyone!
Let’s do this Daddy thang! My own little Mini-McConaughey… wow. My stokage level is set to “awesome” and my inner chi is rocked for crazy trimana! Time for Papa Matty to work out his Fatherhood muscle. On the beach. [...]
My Blog Is Better Than Your Blog
Watch the video before you read on!
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My power is more powerful than your power.
My funny is funnier.
I’m Scrunchy Von Scrunch Scrunch
My whoa is better than your whoa.
L-I-V-I-N!
My manly is more manly than your manly.
My talent is funnsmartandgreat.
I’m already my prepping my next reality show.
My TV show is more confusing.
I’m hotter.
I’m more annoying.
Your Oscar speech isn’t [...]
Demi Moore’s Leeches and Other Bizarre Celebrity Beauty Regimen
Looking pretty in Hollywood isn’t hard to do. Every celebrity does the same things: eat right, exercise often, get their hair done by professionals, use make-up that matches, highlights and improves their skin, kill babies and suck their blood. It’s standard stuff. But STAYING pretty in Hollywood? Not an easy task. [...]
If Everything In Hollywood Were As Awesome As The Fool’s Gold Trailer
If everything in Hollywood were as awesome as the Fool’s Gold trailer there would be no WGA Strike. Writers would be paid in gold and the studios would send them thank you e-cards twice a week.
Kate Hudson would only be allowed to appear in movies if she’s flaked in gold and McConaughey would only [...]
Katherine Heigl Can NOT Open A Movie!
So we can dispense with that notion right now.
Today, the LA Times posted an obnoxious, poorly-thought out piece on Box Office Sorority Sisters, claiming that with the moderate opening weekend success of 27 Dresses, Katherine Heigl had officially joined the elusive ranks of women who can open a movie on their own. This, as [...]
I Keep Getting Older, They Stay The Same Age…
Normally when news of a celebrity’s shenanigans or misadventures comes through my snarky press wire I take great pleasure in mocking them for their actions. I put funny words into their mouths, and make them look stupid or sound immature and/or destructive. It’s all in fun and a good time is had by [...]
Runner-Up Excuses For Not Winning People’s “Sexiest Man Alive” Award
So People Magazine has named Matt Damon 2007’s “Sexiest Man Alive”. Which I guess is a fine choice if you like pig-nosed frat boy looking dudes who happen to play bad ass amnesiac spies. I’m a fan of the guy (and it should probably be stated, completely straight), but let’s get real, he’s [...]
“Ride it, Lick it, Snort it, F-ck it!” And Other Celebrity Mottos
I love me a good motto. I love mottos even better when I can steal them from pop culture. Whether it’s Nicolas Cage’s “B.A.D. – Balls Attitude Direction” from Kiss of Death, “A.A. – Attitude Adjustment” from Rad, or my personal favorite “F.U.B.A.R.” from Tango and Cash, I like to yoink them all [...]
