This is the fourth definition listed in the Urban Dictionary under the term “tool”: “A person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a ‘what-are-you-even-doing- here’ look. The ‘what-are-you-even-doing- here’ look is classified by a glare in the tool’s direction and is usually accompanied by muttering of how big of [...]
Posts under ‘Morgan Freeman’
“Ride it, Lick it, Snort it, F-ck it!” And Other Celebrity Mottos
I love me a good motto. I love mottos even better when I can steal them from pop culture. Whether it’s Nicolas Cage’s “B.A.D. - Balls Attitude Direction” from Kiss of Death, “A.A. – Attitude Adjustment” from Rad, or my personal favorite “F.U.B.A.R.” from Tango and Cash, I like to yoink them all [...]
Considering the Box Office Potential of The Bucket List Based Solely on the Poster
There are many proven scientific ways of determining a film’s box office potential. Star power, strength of schedule, cool title, total number of naked boobies, franchise potential, genre, the presence of a precocious boy who can see dead people, etc. My particular method of determining box office potential is rather simple: I look [...]
The Dubious Box Office Achievement of Evan Almighty
Sometimes you can see something coming from a mile away and still be surprised when it hits you in the face. A few weeks ago I noticed that Evan Almighty, Universal’s sequel-in-name-and-Morgan-Freeman-only to 2003’s mega hit Bruce Almighty, was inching towards the vaunted $100 million dollar mark at the domestic box office. The movie had [...]
Celebrity Tax Deductions
In honor of the most hectic day of the year for crazy, on-the-VT-edge postal workers (too soon?), I dug through the garbage bins of the Beverly Hills branch of H & R Block and found a slew of Celebrity Tax Forms. I’m ommitted a lot of the information (such as Paris Hilton listing her [...]
Things Overheard: Picture This, Blockbuster Sucks & Steven Spielberg is 60
Birthday wishes go out to Steven Spielberg, my all-time favorite director, who celebrated his 60th birthday on Monday. He may not always make the coolest movies, or even the smartest movies, but his movies are always exceedingly watching, expertly made and laced with the type of magic seldom seen on-screen. In other words, he makes the best movies.
Celebrity Superpowers
In all seriousness, I know Movie Stars don’t REALLY have superpowers. The closest they come is through CGI and make-up. But wouldn’t it be cool if it were true? If CGI didn’t exist and Tobey Maguire really could shoot spider webs out of his wrists? If Will Smith really could fly a fighter jet into an alien mothership and Jeff Goldblum could take down an advanced alien technology with a simple Apple iMac virus? Yes, things would be a lot cooler if celebrities were mutants with superhuman abilities (as opposed to the regular mutants they are now).
Recasting A Classic: The Princess Bride
People don’t like to play trivia games with me. I don’t know if it’s my lightning quick reflexes (The answer is Joanie Loves Chachi. Oh, it was your turn? Eh, you didn’t have the answer anyway. My role…). I don’t know if it’s my encyclopedic knowledge of the cast list [...]
The Six Ways To Oscar Gold
As the saying goes, there are two things you never want to see get made, laws and sausages. Whether that’s true or not I can’t speculate, but if I could add one thing to the expression, I would say the third thing you never want to see made is the Academy Awards. Now [...]
The $10 Buck List
It’s human nature for people to let you down. There’s no way that all your friends and family can please you all the time; that someone could be there for you when you need them, every time. And we must resign ourselves to this fact, so that we can begin to care for [...]
