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Posts under ‘Nicolas Cage’
Nicolas Cage’s HIGH-Larious On-Set Shenanigans!
Whilst perusing through the gruesome (yet really well done) coverage of Death Ledger on Defamer this morning, I caught a story that made my left eyebrow shoot up like Kevin Arnold staring down a horny Winnie Cooper. It was a piece detailing some of the more juicy excerpts from one-time Body Heat uber-hottie and [...]
The 2007 TheJay.com Year In Film Awards
I’m rip roaring and raring to go on ‘0JAY8 like La Lohan on an extended weekend in Capri, so before a Celebritard does something so dissgrossting that I have to break my Lost Girls ban and dip into my bag of fake whore words to describe their actions (”whoreititude” being my current favs), let’s start [...]
More Signs That You Are Watching A Bad Nicolas Cage Movie
As the day approaches for yet another Nicolas Cage magnum opus (it’s treasure protecting time!), I felt it might be high time to brush up on our “How To Tell If Your Watching A Bad Nicolas Cage Movie” skills. Use these lessons as a guide to determine just how much of a sucker you [...]
Ben Affleck Is NOT A Tool, And I Can Prove It!
This is the fourth definition listed in the Urban Dictionary under the term “tool”: “A person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a ‘what-are-you-even-doing- here’ look. The ‘what-are-you-even-doing- here’ look is classified by a glare in the tool’s direction and is usually accompanied by muttering of how big of [...]
Honoring 9/11 TheJay.com Way: By Making Fun Of Celebrities!
Better words will come from better writers today, and as such, I will not attempt to editorialize on the impact of 9/11 nor its unending societal reach six years later. I am not a newsman or a pundit, I’m not a D.C. blogger nor a member of a political party. I lost no [...]
The Inevitability of a Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip
It was a mathematical certainty that at some point, due to how she lives her life and treats her body, we would see Lindsay Lohan’s nipples. A Lohan nip slip is quite like an irrefutable equation. A2 + B2 = C2, wherein “A” is the number of times per year Lindsay wears either [...]
Things Overheard on the Razzies Red Carpet…
As a fun little endcap to all the pro-Oscars, pro-creativity, yay! Hollywood nonsense, here’s a little look at the flipside of awards season. It’s the Golden Raspberry Awards; the only award that no one in Hollywood ever wants, but so many TOTALLY deserve. I figured turnabout is fair game, so here’s a little [...]
How To Tell If You’re Watching A Bad Nicolas Cage Movie
In any given year 300 or so movies will be released into theaters. And on average, roughly 47 of them will star Nicolas Cage. With so many kooky, Cage-alicious movies to choose from it can be hard to tell which are worth your time and which would be best viewed on TNT, muted, [...]
Things Overheard: The Mighty VCR, The Return of The OC , And The Early Oscar Predictions
So you probably noticed the new head bar. You like? I thought it was time to give the site a facelift; one that would help initiate new readers into what TheJay.com really is: mainly making fun of celebrities. While the sunset pic was nice, it doesn’t exactly scream “Reese Witherspoon has a squirrel chin!” which is what I want this site to convey.
