Ah, a new day! Got a good night’s rest, blogged about Idol, got frustrated over LOST, I am ready to take on this Wednesday. Time to fire up the old lap top, and see what’s going on in the world…
Michael Vick wants to be a Carolina Panther. Fine, whatever. Obama has [...]
Posts under ‘Reese Witherspoon’
A Disaster of Biblical Celebrity Proportions
Never Forget: Reese Witherspoon is America’s Sweetheart
When the Wicked Witch of West Hollywood unhinges her jaw like that, she’s not about to be super nice to you, she’s arming her primary weapon.
This is what Jake Gyllenhaal sees when the doors are locked. In a completely heterosexual way, I weep for his penis.
Bangarang!
The Scariest Thing You Will See on Halloween
If you look directly at it, your face will melt.
If you stare at it for ten seconds a ring will appear. You now have seven days to live.
If you see it in a Haunted House, it’s already too late.
If you say her name five times, Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde [...]
Religious Conversions Caused By Celebrities
Celebrities are always being credited, or should I say blamed, with starting trends. Jennifer Beals caused a nation of woman to massacre their sweaters, Woody Harrelson made white guys think they could hoop, George Clooney is responsible for the raft of Caesar haircuts that lamed across America back in the 90’s, and so on [...]
Reese Witherspoon Has Some Competition For Her Man
WOOOHOOOO!!!
FUCKIN WOOOOOO, BAAAAAYBEEEEE!
I feel like such a MAN right now! Like I could wear socks with my sandals and nobody would give me shit. Cause if they did, I’d cut them with my man-sword. And I don’t even mean my penis this time!
I wonder if I can get this hat in beige?
Riding [...]
You Will Respect Reese’s CELEBRITAH!!!
EXT. STK RESTAURANT – WEST HOLLYWOOD – DAY
REESE walks out of the restaurant. A nearby paparazzi takes her picture. She glares at him for a moment, her squirrel chin afire with rage.
REESE: Just caught you taking my picture from less then fifteen feet away. You know how that makes my chin and [...]
My Forced Apology To Reese Witherspoon
When you’re a kid and your Mom says not to make faces because they might stay that way, you never want to believe her. You ignore her telling you cracking your knuckles could give you arthritis. You jump right into the pool after lunch, against her wishes. You do your utmost to [...]
Demi Moore’s Leeches and Other Bizarre Celebrity Beauty Regimen
Looking pretty in Hollywood isn’t hard to do. Every celebrity does the same things: eat right, exercise often, get their hair done by professionals, use make-up that matches, highlights and improves their skin, kill babies and suck their blood. It’s standard stuff. But STAYING pretty in Hollywood? Not an easy task. [...]
The Wicked Witch of the West Hollywood
Ring around the rosy, a pocket full of spears! Come little one, and I will show you how to make this city bow at your feet!!! I have conquered B-list male boytoys and swindled an Oscar, but now that we have survived our homeland freezing over, my power will be the greatest in [...]
Katherine Heigl Can NOT Open A Movie!
So we can dispense with that notion right now.
Today, the LA Times posted an obnoxious, poorly-thought out piece on Box Office Sorority Sisters, claiming that with the moderate opening weekend success of 27 Dresses, Katherine Heigl had officially joined the elusive ranks of women who can open a movie on their own. This, as [...]
