It’s not often that a celebrity admits when they’re wrong. Scandals come and go, but count how many times you’ve actually heard Lindsay or Paris admit the wrongness of their actions or words. You can probably count the number on your thumb. And even then, the detraction was more than likely court-ordered. [...]
Posts under ‘Scarlett Johansson’
My Blog Is Better Than Your Blog
Watch the video before you read on!
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My power is more powerful than your power.
My funny is funnier.
I’m Scrunchy Von Scrunch Scrunch
My whoa is better than your whoa.
L-I-V-I-N!
My manly is more manly than your manly.
My talent is funnsmartandgreat.
I’m already my prepping my next reality show.
My TV show is more confusing.
I’m hotter.
I’m more annoying.
Your Oscar speech isn’t [...]
What $40,000 Gets You With Scarlett Johansson
International screen hottie and budding hack musician, Scarlet Johansson, recently put a date with herself up for auction on eBay. The sham affair is an effort to raise money for the OxFam charity. Some pathetic Britboy actually dropped $40,000 to win the auction. That gigantic sum of money earns him the right [...]
Scarlett Johansson Thinks It’s Business Time
Oh yeah, that’s right baby. Girl, tonight we’re gonna do an interview. You know how I know baby? Cuz its The Today Show, and The Today Show is the show that we interview on. Regis & Kelly is the show we go and plug our charities, but The Today Show is the show that [...]
Katherine Heigl Can NOT Open A Movie!
So we can dispense with that notion right now.
Today, the LA Times posted an obnoxious, poorly-thought out piece on Box Office Sorority Sisters, claiming that with the moderate opening weekend success of 27 Dresses, Katherine Heigl had officially joined the elusive ranks of women who can open a movie on their own. This, as [...]
The 2007 TheJay.com Year In Film Awards
I’m rip roaring and raring to go on ‘0JAY8 like La Lohan on an extended weekend in Capri, so before a Celebritard does something so dissgrossting that I have to break my Lost Girls ban and dip into my bag of fake whore words to describe their actions (”whoreititude” being my current favs), let’s start [...]
“Ride it, Lick it, Snort it, F-ck it!” And Other Celebrity Mottos
I love me a good motto. I love mottos even better when I can steal them from pop culture. Whether it’s Nicolas Cage’s “B.A.D. – Balls Attitude Direction” from Kiss of Death, “A.A. – Attitude Adjustment” from Rad, or my personal favorite “F.U.B.A.R.” from Tango and Cash, I like to yoink them all [...]
Honoring 9/11 TheJay.com Way: By Making Fun Of Celebrities!
Better words will come from better writers today, and as such, I will not attempt to editorialize on the impact of 9/11 nor its unending societal reach six years later. I am not a newsman or a pundit, I’m not a D.C. blogger nor a member of a political party. I lost no [...]
The Inevitability of a Lindsay Lohan Nipple Slip
It was a mathematical certainty that at some point, due to how she lives her life and treats her body, we would see Lindsay Lohan’s nipples. A Lohan nip slip is quite like an irrefutable equation. A2 + B2 = C2, wherein “A” is the number of times per year Lindsay wears either [...]
Celebrity Tax Deductions
In honor of the most hectic day of the year for crazy, on-the-VT-edge postal workers (too soon?), I dug through the garbage bins of the Beverly Hills branch of H & R Block and found a slew of Celebrity Tax Forms. I’m ommitted a lot of the information (such as Paris Hilton listing her [...]
