This is a list of the 40 movies of the last ten years that affected me the most. They aren’t the “best” movies by any stretch of the imagination (Even the stubborn narcissist in me can’t call movies 22, 23 or 27 “good”), just the ones that moved me, entertained me, and enlightened me. [...]
Posts under ‘Steven Spielberg’
My Blog Is Better Than Your Blog
Watch the video before you read on!
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My power is more powerful than your power.
My funny is funnier.
I’m Scrunchy Von Scrunch Scrunch
My whoa is better than your whoa.
L-I-V-I-N!
My manly is more manly than your manly.
My talent is funnsmartandgreat.
I’m already my prepping my next reality show.
My TV show is more confusing.
I’m hotter.
I’m more annoying.
Your Oscar speech isn’t [...]
Happy 61st Birthday, Steven Spielberg!
NOTE: I wrote this last year to celebrate the Bearded Master’s big time 60th, and am reposting it on it’s own with some fun updates to honor his 61st. To check out the original post, CLICK HERE
Birthday wishes go out to Steven Spielberg, my all-time favorite director, who celebrates his 61st birthday today. [...]
Things I’d Rather Do Than Go See “P.S. I Love You”
I took one for the team on Friday and took a date to see Enchanted. And while I had no real problem with the movie other than the fact that it was for six year-old girls and not twenty-six year-old guys, the one thing I could NOT stomach was the trailer for P.S I [...]
21 Birthday Wishes For Lindsay Lohan
Today, I, and the rest of the world, or at least the Hollywood tabloidista, will honor the birth of one of the entertainment industry’s biggest and best coked out, rehab-shucking, talent-eroding, knife-wielding, weight dropping, boytoy banging, crazy as hell Celebritards since the Olsen twins turned eighteen. Yes, that’s right, batten down the hatches, order [...]
I Blame It All On Bruce Willis: Confessions of a Movie Line Waiter
(NOTE: This column was originally written in 2002, to commemorate the release of Star Wars Episode II – Attack of the Clones. In honor of the release of Live Free or Die Hard I am re-publishing it as a tribute to the man who started my love for waiting in line for movies. [...]
Celebrity Tax Deductions
In honor of the most hectic day of the year for crazy, on-the-VT-edge postal workers (too soon?), I dug through the garbage bins of the Beverly Hills branch of H & R Block and found a slew of Celebrity Tax Forms. I’m ommitted a lot of the information (such as Paris Hilton listing her [...]
The Worst Crimes Perpetrated On Movie Franchises By Kids
Apparently, by no sane measure of logic, adding a kid to a movie franchise will liven up a tiring concept and reinvigorate a series for the millions of people who once breathlessly paid to watch the adventures but whom now shrug a collective “meh” to the whole deal. Further, the mere sight of a [...]
Things Overheard on the Oscars Red Carpet, 2007
I really need to be hired as an official Oscar prognosticator by some reputable news source. I went eight for eight in the big races, and also nailed Best Documentary, Editing, Animated Feature, Cinematography, and Makeup. I’m especially proud of picking the Alan Arkin upset. My only real lapses were Foreign Film [...]
Things Overheard: Resolutions, Confusions, Hate-Ons and The Jay’s New Radio Show
THINGS I SAW IN 2006 THAT WERE REALLY, REALLY BAD
Here are the ten movies I saw in 2006 that were so repugnant, so foul, so sucked-ballsish, and so full-on poopy that I had to single them out for non-praise. May my soulful green eyes never fall on these abominations of cinema ever again.
My Bottom [...]
