So I haven’t posted in a week and a half. Was it due to laziness? Hardly. I’ve been hatching a plan. A plan so righteous, so progressive and so oddly heartwarming, that it required my full attention. That plan? Rescuing Suri Cruise from the nefarious -and by nefarious, I [...]
Posts under ‘TomKat’
Spending Time With Grammy Katie
OHH, OHH! Tommy! My bubeleh! How are you, dear? Huh? How are ya? You look thin! Why don’t you eat? Enh? Enh? How come you never eat? What, you trying to impress a girl? She’ll like you as you are or pttt pttt she’s [...]
Katie Holmes’ NYC Marathon Brain Log
Former WB It-girl and current Scientology Bride Katie Holmes ran the New York City Marathon this past weekend. She had a lot of time to think about things during her five hour twenty-nine minute run, and by crazy fictional coincidence, I’ve acquired her brain log from the event. Here now is a mile-to-mile [...]
Ben Affleck Is NOT A Tool, And I Can Prove It!
This is the fourth definition listed in the Urban Dictionary under the term “tool”:
“A person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a ‘what-are-you-even-doing- here’ look. The ‘what-are-you-even-doing- here’ look is classified by a glare in the tool’s direction and is usually accompanied by muttering of how big of [...]
Dirty Dancing 3: Scientology Nights
“Nobody puts Xenu in the corner!”
Bangarang!
Discarded Excuses For Britney’s Crazy Umbrella Attack
It’s one thing when a celebrity releases a poor excuse for unruly behavior directly after the incident. People are asking questions and publicists want to give them white-washed answers. Often times those answers are stupid and nonsensical, written to cling to some inane image of purity. Those excuses are lame, they know [...]
How The Paparazzi Are Spending Their Paris and Lindsay-less Free Time
It’s a time of reflection for those in the unauthorized celebrity picture business. With Paris now firmly behind bars for the duration of June, Lindsay drying up in a posh suite somewhere in Malibu, Nicole trying to clean up her rep in time for her day in court, Brangelina giving it out for free [...]
Celebrity Tax Deductions
In honor of the most hectic day of the year for crazy, on-the-VT-edge postal workers (too soon?), I dug through the garbage bins of the Beverly Hills branch of H & R Block and found a slew of Celebrity Tax Forms. I’m ommitted a lot of the information (such as Paris Hilton listing her [...]
Anne Heche Still As Sane As Ever!
According to media reports, famed question mark-sexual crazy person / sometime actress, Anne Heche, has left Coley Lafoon, her husband of five years, and begun shacking up with her Men in Trees co-star James Tupper. Notice something: there’s a lot going on in that sentence.
The 2006 TheJay.com Year In Film Awards
Let’s skip the token intro and go straight into the awards. I’m bored of recapping 2006 already, and Jack Nicholson hasn’t even gotten drunk at the Golden Globes yet. So here we go (if you want to read the 2005 awards post, CLICK HERE:
MOST OVERRATED MOVIE OF THE YEAR
Borat – Aside [...]
