The Scene: The producers of the awesome slash nauseating 90210 remake meet with Tori Spelling to consider raising her per episode salary (owing to her vital importance, obvs).
The Players: Producer 1, Producer 2, Tori Spelling, Tori Spelling’s Rack of Beef with a Thumprint aka Tori’s Boobs
INT. 90210 PRODUCTION OFFICE – HOLLYWOOD – DAY
Two [...]
Posts under ‘Things Overheard’
Things Overheard During Tori Spelling’s 90210-Remake Contract Negotiation
Things Overheard During Shannen Doherty’s 90210-Remake Contract Negotiation
The Scene: The producers of the awesome slash nauseating 90210 remake consider bringing back the old cast. Realizing the amazing potential of a Brenda Walsh resurrection, they take their life in their hands and call up Shannen Doherty.
The Players: Producer 1, Producer 2, Shannen Doherty, the right side of Shannen Doherty’s face and one [...]
Things Overheard on the Set of the New Sandra Bullock/Ryan Reynolds RomCom
Sandra Bullock, Former All-Time Girl Next Door and Current “Really Sandy, Another RomCom? REALLY?” Actress, and better-bearded abtor (actor with abs instead of chops), Ryan Reynolds, shoot a scene from their upcoming romantic comedy (natch), the sure to be middling box office earner, “The Proposal”.
Ryan Reynolds: Remember when you were a relevant film actress?
Sandra Bullock: [...]
Crash Davis Teaches Billy Crystal LaLoosh How To Get To The Show
Billy Crystal LaLoosh, a hard-joke throwing, wildly unfunny over the hill comedian with script choosing deficiences signs a ludicrous one-day contract with a Yankees minor league affiliate. Hank Steinbrenner, sensing “Throw Red Sox From the Train” potential, trades for Crash Davis, an aging star at the end of a long, sorta illustrious career (Robin [...]
Things Overheard on the Oscars Red Carpet, 2008
Oh look, the Academy Awards are o-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wuh? Huh? What I miss? Did Daniel Day-Lewis drink a milkshake?
Yikes, that was forgettable. It says a lot about the quality of the telecast when the best thing all night was the fake montage for binoculars and Hottie Mirren saying balls in Spanish. [...]
Clueless 2: The Blu-Ray Monet
TAI: Cher, do you think I’m still as pretty as we were in high school?
CHER: No, you’re a full-on Blu-Ray Monet.
TAI: What’s a Blu-Ray Monet?
CHER: It’s like a really great 1080i digital picture, see? From far away, or on a small YouTube window it’s OK, but up close, on Hi-Def, it’s a big old mess. [...]
Ferris Bueller and Carrie Bradshaw’s Night Off
Totally in love married couple, Matthew Broderick and Sarah Jessica Parker, take an evening stroll down a New York city street.
Matthew Broderick: Dear, our dinner was positively delightful. The brioche was exquisite, the tampanade c’est magnifique, and I had what only can be described as a love affair with the ‘90 Chateau Haut-Brion.
Sarah Jessica [...]
Things Overheard At Lindsay Lohan’s Marvel Superheroes Photoshoot
The Scene: For no particular reason, Lindsay Lohan poses in a photoshoot with a slew of low-fi attired Marvel superheroes. Taking a break between shots, La Lohan chats up The Incredible Hulk
The Players: “Recovering” Celebritard (from alcohol, not from being a ‘tard), Current US Ambassador of Chlamydia Transportation to the Nation of Italy, and [...]
2007 on TheJay.com: A Year in Posts
JANUARY
I started the year as I always do, with the Year In Film Awards. I mused about which actors were The Most Unwatchable. I kept my ears to the Celebritard ground and heard Things Overheard on the Golden Globes Red Carpet. My numbero uno celebrity crush broke my mighty heart by getting [...]
Things Overheard During Kiefer Sutherland’s DUI Arrest
The Scene: Kiefer Sutherland is drunk. And driving. Again. As it were. A cop pulls him over and attempts to put him under arrest for a DUI.
The Players: Kiefer, Kiefer’s Alcohol-induced delusions, The Cop, An On-Star Customer Service Representative, the Ghost of Emilio Estevez’s Career
INT. KIEFER’S CAR – BEVERLY HILLS – NIGHT
KIEFER [...]
