OMG, ya’ll, we are so hungry!
We don’t even what happened. One day we were in hog heaven. Literal “hog” “heaven”, she used to feed us a whole pig once every Saturday (we called it “Hogurday”). And then the next day this green mulch was being dropped on us. We didn’t even [...]
Posts under ‘Britney Spears’
A Message From Britney Spears’ Abs
Happy Thanksgiving, Love The Jay!
Bangarang!
Things For Which The Jay Is Putting A Ring On It
After taking under advisement Beyo-err… Sasha Fierce’s sage advice that “if you like than you should have put a ring on it”, and worried that I might possibly have offended that which I hold quite dear by NOT putting a ring on it yet, even though I love it so, I would like to take [...]
Translating Britney Spears’ VMA Awards Acceptance Speeches
Did you SEE? Did you see how good our girlfriend DID? She looked fantastic! She was funny and fierce and on point! Charming a rapidly unfunny Jonah Hill, opening the show like a pro, winning three awards and looking like a thousand million bucks doing it; showing all the wannabes how [...]
Post-Earthquake Celebrity Facebook Statuses
So LA shook from it’s 2% body fat hinges this morning. After checking on the things that matter most to me in this world: my family, my friends, my 52″ Samsung LCD HDTV, I did what any clear-headed post-quake Angeleno does when our fair city performs it’s occasional Tommy Lee Jones failed disaster flick [...]
My Blog Is Better Than Your Blog
Watch the video before you read on!
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My power is more powerful than your power.
My funny is funnier.
I’m Scrunchy Von Scrunch Scrunch
My whoa is better than your whoa.
L-I-V-I-N!
My manly is more manly than your manly.
My talent is funnsmartandgreat.
I’m already my prepping my next reality show.
My TV show is more confusing.
I’m hotter.
I’m more annoying.
Your Oscar speech isn’t [...]
That’sfunnysmartandgreat! Five Things I Learned From the Britney HIMYM Episode
As predicted by me, Britney slam dunked her extended cameo on the alarmingly rapid decline of funny known as “How I Met Your Mother”. She was poised, professional and cleaned-up to the point of 1998 hotness. Every goal for the gimmick came through. The show got big ratings and was legit funny [...]
Ten Ways To Return Britney Spears To Brilliant Genius Status
I think we can all agree that despite the 5150’s, the Federline spawn, the going commando, the dinners with Riggs, the bi-polar manic depression and the British accent, that Britney Spears is a Brilliant Genius.***
Anyone that can change the landscape of an entire industry, simply by putting on a Catholic school outfit and [...]
Are You Gonna Be On Your Way?
Are you gonna be on your way?
I have a right lot of business to tether. I can not dither around here with you lot. It is imperative I make haste to my appointments. You and your queer fuck buddies are being an obstacle to me, and I find you to be quite [...]
Ben Affleck Is NOT A Tool, And I Can Prove It!
This is the fourth definition listed in the Urban Dictionary under the term “tool”:
“A person, typically male, who says or does things that cause you to give them a ‘what-are-you-even-doing- here’ look. The ‘what-are-you-even-doing- here’ look is classified by a glare in the tool’s direction and is usually accompanied by muttering of how big of [...]
