Certain actors just NEED to have Oscars. Be it due to their talent, charisma, the roles they play or their longevity, there comes a point in certain actor’s careers when it seems insane they don’t have an Oscar. Like Morgan Freeman before he won for Million Dollar Barfy; go back, didn’t you already THINK he had an Oscar? When you found out he didn’t, it surprised you, right? It’s MORGAN FREEMAN! Voice of God! Step-Granddaughter toucher! Oscarless? Insanity!

Certain actors not having Oscars just sounds wrong (not unlike certain actors HAVING them, ahem Mira Sorvino). Look, I know most awards mean nothing. The actual awards are easily purchased by deep-pocketed studios, desperate to boost the failing box office grosses of their “prestige” pictures. The show itself is nothing more then a poorly disguised commercial for whatever pop culture products need to be pushed near the air date. Actors only show up to pimp those pop culture products (all the more delicious as Award Season is in late Winter when all the truly horrendous movies get released, cough When In Rome, cough… oh, hello Kristen Bell… EVERYWHERE.).

But the Academy Awards mean something. Having an Oscar is important. Not just for the actors, but for us. We grow attached to our stars, and want to see them rewarded for their work. For whatever reason, we NEED them to have an Oscar, to validate what we know about things being good and things being recognized for being good. Which is why it is painful to know that the following ten actors don’t have one.

10 – John Malkovich
I’ve been studying film for fifteen years, and I have NO explanation for this. Really, John Malkovich hasn’t won an Oscar? Even though he played one of THE defining villains of the 90′s (In The Line Of Fire)? The man has a movie NAMED after him, for Pete’s sake! He’s easily one of the best character actors alive on planet Earth today, and there isn’t a person alive who doesn’t get fired up when he comes onscreen. But no Oscar? He deserves at least two for that fakakta accent from Rounders. “Paey dat mein hees mohney” I say, “Geev dat mein hees Ohhsker!”

9 – Sigourney Weaver
How many fantastic Sigourney Weaver performances can you name off the top of your head? I got to five before blink one. Aliens, Ghostbusters, Working Girl, Gorillas in the Mist, Galaxy Quest. Any coincidence that those are five all-time classics? I don’t think so. Weaver is the classic example of an actress that SEEMS to already be an Oscar winner. She’s been nominated three times, but no dice. Her Working Girl loss stings all the more because Geena Davis beat her. Geena? Davis? I love Charlie Baltimore as much as the next guy, but on her BEST day she isn’t even half a Weaver. Get away from her Oscar, you bitch!

(This is only slightly discounted because of Weaver’s indefensible performance in Avatar. The only thing even REMOTEly artificial in that movie was Sigourney’s acting.)

8 – Gary Oldman
There are a great many crazy things that happen in the world. Fergie just gave the best performance in Nine. The Jets may make the Super Bowl this year. George Bush. But right up at the tippy top has GOT to be the fact that Gary Oldman has NEVER been nominated for an Academy Award. Allow me to use the caps lock for better emphasis. GARY OLDMAN HAS NEVER BEEN NOMINATED FOR AN ACADEMY AWARD. The Professional, True Romance, JFK, The Fifth Element, The Contender, The Dark Knight… yeah, this guy doesn’t deserve one AT ALL. If I was running Hollywood, here would be my first order of business:

The Jay: Lacky, bring Gary Oldman an Academy Award.

Lacky: Which category, sir?

The Jay: EEEEVVVERRYOOOOOOOONNNE!

7 – Julianne Moore
She needs to have one so we can stop talking about how she doesn’t have one. Her Oscar Injustice campaign is even more self-righteous than Kate Winslet’s was, and that ain’t easy. Also? She should have won it for Boogie Nights. Kim Basinger deserved it more that year? For what, nearly ruining LA Confidential? No.

6 – Ralph Fiennes
His presence in a movie trailer practically REQUIRES that “Academy Award Winner Ralph Fiennes” graphic studios love to use so much (because it makes the movie seem better than it is). I personally think he’s never won because people are too afraid to mispronounce his name. If he just spelled it “Rafe” he’d have two Oscars by now, I’m telling you. Demi Moore agrees with me.

5 – Jeff Bridges
The Dude does not abide by his Oscarlessness. Thankfully, this atrocity will be rectified in about eight weeks. Who doesn’t love Jeff Bridges? Terrorists? Not likely, cause he played a kick ass one in Blown Away (not talking about the Two Coreys skinemax flick, I know, I’ve made that mistake before, too) (UPDATE: Oops, was just reminded that Bridges played the good guy in Blown Away. MAN those Coreys are distracting. Let’s go with Jeff’s villainous turn in The Vanishing, then, mmk? Mmk). He’s just SO likeable, SO endearing, SO GOOD, we are willing him to win this year. I love it when a long overdue actor is carried across the finish line by the adoring public. Even when it’s for a movie that is beneath them (see: Pacino, Al – Woman, Scent Of A). Also? There’s a better than good chance he accepts his Oscar totally baked out of his mind.

4 – Robert Downey Jr.
Jamie Foxx has an Oscar and Robert Downey Jr. does not. Which guy was the reason you forced yourself to stake awake through The Soloist, for? That’s what I thought. Also? It’s ROBERT DOWNEY JR. He’s the second greatest living actor in the world (see: #2 on this list)!!! Give him a damn Oscar, already! What does he have to do, act in blackface?

3 – Annette Benning
It wasn’t too hard coming up with men for this list, but the women were tough. The Academy is actually REALLY good at spreading the love around to all the A-list actresses. Cate, Nicole, Reese, Renee, Catherine, Kate, Julia, Meryl, Halle, Penelope, Helen, Angelina and Charlize all have one. Which makes Annette Benning not having one seem beyond dumb. Is it because she married Warren Beatty? Is she being punished for making The Siege? Somebody please give me a reason why Caroline Burnham is Oscar-less. Watch this clip:

That’s not one of the Best Actresses in Hollywood? Don’t you dare to lie me!

2 – Matt Damon
Matt Damon is the best actor working today. He is the best actor currently alive. These are the facts, and they are indisputable. Has Matt Damon EVER been ANYthing less than believable? Has he EVER not been fun to watch? Has he EVER not been the best thing in his movies? Tom Ripley, Jason Bourne, Linus Caldwell, Private Ryan, Will Hunting, Loki; I remember his character’s names! And those aren’t even his BEST performances! Courage Under Fire, The Departed, The Informant, Syrianna, Rounders and Stuck on You are equally good. Not to mention the time he made out with Grace Adler on the couch (‘Thanks for the tea. And aay.”). Matt Damon can do no wrong. And yet he can’t BUY an Oscar. I love me some Jeff Bridges. Stick It is my steez. And I am telling you: Matt Damon’s performance in The Informant was the best thing put to celluloid in 2009.

1 – Tom Cruise
Throw away everything you know about Tom Cruise’s personal life. Throw away the Katie Holmes, the Suri, the Scientology, the homosexuality rumors, the sham marriage to Nicole Kidman, the mis-aligned front teeth. Put it all in the trash (this is not me impersonating Clooney in Up in the Air, just btdubs). Now take a look at Tom Cruise. What do you see? You see the Greatest Movie Star in the History of Cinema, don’t you? That should be rewarded, shouldn’t it?

Tom Cruise doesn’t just carry movies, he IS movies. Paramount can’t even SHOW a movie script to someone until Tom Cruise has passed on it. His face is BUILT to be projected on 50-foot screens. His body is a perfect screen body: pigeon-chested, stout and malleable. His intensity is magnetic. Hell, his hair is a bigger movie star than Ryan Reynolds will EVER be. Tom Cruise was designed to be a Movie God. His brilliance and success was pre-ordained. And yet? He has never been rewarded for his work.

Jerry Maguire, Born on the Fourth of July, Magnolia, Rain Man, Vanilla Sky; ALL of those performances deserved Oscars. And if Sandra Bullock wins for The Blind Side, then Tom Cruise should have won for A Few Good Men. Want more? What was the funniest performance in 2009? Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder. #fact

Does anyone do blockbuster performances better? You don’t love Tom in Top Gun? He isn’t ANYthing but riveting in Minority Report? You’re telling me you have enough control over your body to LOOK AWAY from Tom in Mission: Impossible? No. You’re not saying those things. Because those are things no one says!

If George Clooney has an Oscar, Tom Cruise should have an Oscar. If Jack Nicholson has THREE, Tom deserves at least one. Nicolas Cage has an Oscar and he’s a crazy person. So why doesn’t Tom have one?

There will be a time, maybe fifteen years from now, when Tom Cruise disappears for 30 days and comes back with a movie. Something small, something personal. And he will be so good in it that we have no choice but to hand him the Academy Award for Best Actor. The standing ovation for that announcement will set endurance records. And we will all look back at his resume and wonder what took so damn long. He’s only been the Biggest Movie Star in the World for 40 years. He’s only TOM CRUISE.

I mean, isn’t that what the Academy Awards were invented for? So that we can give Tom Cruise an Oscar and everyone can be happy about it?

Here’s the thing: I’m a simple man with simple needs. I want things to be good, and I need people to love those things. These ten actors are good, and I want the Academy to start loving them. Because I will not live in a world where Hilary Swank has TWO Oscars, and these fantastic people have NONE. I won’t do it. I just won’t do it.

Bangarang!

(Follow me on Twitter @jasonamatthews)

A special group of people came into my life this year. They are a group made up of people who love pop culture the way you love something unconditionally; when you can enjoy it for what it is and what it is not; when you can rationalize bad choices, accept mistakes, and, at the same time, revel in its beauty and wisdom and thought. Nothing is ever “that sucks” just because it’s trendy to say so. When they don’t like something they have clear, logical reasons for feeling that way. While at the same time, nearly without exception, they can point to moments of greatness amidst the movie/show/song they didn’t like. They love and hate things the way I do, with an open heart, an observant eye, and a perceptive mind.

These are the people I watched the Oscars with this year.

It is for that reason I believe, more than anything, why I fell in love with tonight’s show. Because we love things that take the time to love themselves, and Hugh Jackman, Bill Condon and everyone else who made the Oscars happen this year, love the Oscars. It was apparent in the way the set was designed. In the absence of sarcasm. In the way the orchestra refrained from playing people off the stage; giving everyone their full moment to shine. In the way each actor was lauded: individually, by one of their peers, and with genuine sincerity.

They cared about the show the way we care about the show. The way we can be snarky about everything all year, but on this night, and only on this night, do we turn that off and be sincere, for that is what is required, and earned.

Hugh Jackman was a perfect host. He worked because unlike a comedian, with an ulterior motive to be “funny” and receive personal applause, Hugh just wanted to entertain us. He didn’t care if he was funny, or if his shtick was making him look good. He’s a showman, not a salesman. He brought joy to the show. And you could see that joy radiate off of him, when he almost lost it during the Reader bit in his opening number, when he danced with Anne Hathaway, when he tousled his hair over and over again, mimicking Mickey in The Wrestler. When he actually DID lose it putting his head in the Ben Button holes. And you know he was an amazing host, because for the extended period of time that he was backstage, he was missed.

I wouldn’t mind if Hugh Jackman hosted the Oscars for from now until eternity.

True thought was put into the show. How do you tell the story of a year in film, in three and a half hours? How do you celebrate it, love it, and observe it from a distance? How do you give these masters of craft, these artists, this mass of people and their art, the respect they deserve? They found a way.

Bringing out five past winners to celebrate five current nominees. Masterstroke. Showing the writing on the screen for the screenplay awards. Brilliant. Putting John Legend onstage with A.R. Rachman. Gorgeous. Ending the show with a look to the future. Sublime.

I loved that the montages were only about this year in movies. Just 2008. Every year there are inevitably four or five montages about the history of movies. Which is all fine and fun to watch, but it loses a sense of perspective about the year in film, which is the reason for the awards show. The whole point is to understand how his year affected the history of cinema. Tonight, for the first time, we got to see a story of the year in movies, and what a story it was.

I judge a good awards show, amongst many things, by the quotes that come out of it. How can this year be topped? “I thank my pencil.” “I was given a choice between hate and love, and I chose love.” “Dad, if you’re out there, whistle.” “You commie, homo-loving sons of guns.” And everything Penelope said about how art is unifying. How art is the true universal language. I would transcribe it, but I only understood every third word. And this is all before Dustin Lance Black’s elegant speech, Sean Penn’s poignant words on equality, Tina Fey and Steve Martin, Ben Stiller as Joaquin Phoenix and The Ledger Family.

People are griping about the lack of surprises. Fine, gripe. But didn’t everyone who won, deserve it? Mickey Rourke got his life back. Did he really need an Oscar to validate his work? Wasn’t Slumdog Millionaire the best picture of the year? Did Heath not deserve his Oscar, in the end? Suspenseful races and shocking upsets make for good television, but on this night, I was glad there weren’t any. It made the night a celebration, not a contest.

That’s what the Oscars are supposed to be, you know, a celebration. Not a contest or campaign, but a celebration of movies, of magic. And that’s what we were given. A night of passion and grandiose beauty, of balance and focus, of efficiency and pause, of acclaim and gratitude, and of good cheer and true worth.

For all of you who did not enjoy the show, who want to be snarky about it and tear it down, don’t speak to me. Keep it to yourself. I don’t want your hate and insecurity to take away or taint the grandeur of the show and the night. I don’t want to hear how the dance numbers were lame or how each acting award took forever or how the show wasn’t “funny”. You’re wrong. And I won’t respond to your comments, because they are so blatantly misguided and ignorant. If you truly cannot see the wonder and beauty and intelligence of the 81st Academy Awards, I don’t even want to know you.

I was honored to see the show with people who understood what they were seeing. People who had the capacity to appreciate the brilliance of the work, and who weren’t elitist or arrogant or spiteful or self-conscious about it. People who didn’t need me to explain why the show was genius, because they knew and agreed with me. People I happily call “friend”.

I usually watch the Oscar with my Mom, but tonight, for the first time, I couldn’t. I am thankful that in her absence, I got to be with this special group of people. Thank you Nick, Audie, Mike, Will, Becca, Greg, sleepy Elissa and Paul. You made it infinitely easier to cope with my loss of tradition, and easier to love a show I love so dearly.

Mom, I wish you could have been with me, and us, as we would have had a great time loving this amazing show together.

Bangarang!

BEST PICTURE

Slumdog Millionaire seems to be a lock, after winning most every pre-Oscars award there is, including the Golden Globe. But MILK is rising in favor. Entertainment Weekly even called MILK the upset winner. I had to force myself to sit through it, and though I found it to be homework, it’s definitely well-made homework, with a great performance by the Pennster (whom I usually loathe). Benjamin Button sure LOOKS like a Best Picture winner, but feels more like one of those epic prestige films that are made to win, but never do (I’m thinking about films like The Painted Veil, Atonement, anything Kate Winslet appears in). Frost/Nixon is forgettable and was probably only nominated because everyone believed they were just supposed to, and did. The Reader is the dark horse, and we should all be frightened by it. If a tiny Nazi movie with some token Kate Winslet nudity can steal a spot from the infinitely more deserving The Dark Knight, who knows what other movies it could topple.

Who Should Win: MILK – The Academy loves a rousing biopic about a tragic figure and a controversial topic. See: A Beautiful Mind, Gandhi. Also, the Academy owes the gay population one for letting Crash beat Brokeback Mountain. And, in a year of relatively classic-free movies, Slumdog Millionaire losing would be less of an upset than people think.

(Full disclosj: The Wrestler was the best film of the year, IMHO. Iron Man was my fav movie.)

Who WILL Win: Slumdog Millionaire – A Bollywood musical about the game show “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire” that is by turns uplifting, inspiring and ultra-violent; that overcomes the obstacles of having no stars, an awkward title and did I mention the Bollywood musical part (?); that ends up being a massive critical hit and grossing HUGEmongous box office? Now, THAT’S what I call a Best Picture winner!

BEST ACTOR

It’s between Sean Penn and Mickey Rourke, this is fact. Brad Pitt was good, but heaping helpings of CGI old midget Brad, and CGI young hot Brad diminish his performance. Also, the movie was ultimately blah, which means HE was ultimately blah. Richard Jenkins should be happy just to be nominated; this is a career achievement for a well-regarded character actor. In any other year, Frank Langella would be in the driver’s seat, but unfortunately he’s up against too strong a field (and people haven’t forgotten that he was Skeletor in the Masters of the Universe flick.). Sean IS fantastic, but he’s done work just as good in other movies; his personal bar is set so high, I don’t believe he cleared it. Mickey Rourke IS The Wrestler. He IS that movie. Every second of the film belongs to him, and he commands those seconds. His is a riveting performance, filled with pathos, humility and dark humor. It’s the best of the year.

Who Should Win: Mickey Rourke – For all the reasons above, and for this: his is a great story. And we love a great story at the Oscars. The one in a million shot, the newcomer, the aging veteran and the comeback; those are the classic stories, and Rourke fits into three of them. Also, imagine the speech he would give!

Who Will Win: Sean Penn – That being said, does Rourke have the votes to win? The Oscars are a political campaign more than anything; you need to shake a lot of friends, make a lot of promises, be nice and be diplomatic. Anyone paying attention to the sound bites that keep coming from the Rourke camp knows he’s one more Chihuahua sneeze from turning a dance floor into a circus. And Sean Penn has a LOT of friends in this town.

BEST ACTRESS

Anne Hathaway the Langella of Best Actress nominees, a stunning performance offset by audience indifference to the film itself. The fact that people think Winslet is OWED an Oscar, makes me sick. This isn’t a cumulative contest; it’s based on one performance, the performance you are nominated for. Kate Winslet may be the best actress of our generation, but she is not owed an Oscar. Too bad I haven’t seen The Reader, so I can’t say one way or the other if she was “better” than Anne Hathaway. Meryl Streep was great in Doubt, but she was over-directed, left a bit too much to her own devices, devices that caused her to overact throughout most of the film. Also, Cherry Jones apparently did a better job in the Broadway play. Melissa Leo is the Richard Jenkins, a fine character actor justly rewarded for fine, understated work. And Angelina? Please.

Who Should Win: Anne Hathaway – Blowing away her Disney typecasting, announcing her presence as a new, substantial dramatic leading lady, Hathaway tears through the film, a whirling dervish of venom and rage. But it’s her quiet moments that did it for me, the speech about her brother’s death, how she confronted her Mom about her brother. Slapping the buh-geez-us out of Debs Wings. Stunning work.

Who WILL Win: Because, much as it pains me, the Oscars ARE a cumulative contest, and Kate IS owed an Oscar. I just wish she wasn’t so blatantly campaigning for it.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR

Heath Ledgsnore. OK, look: yes, he was good in The Dark Knight. But, BUT, the part is a lay-up. It’s The Joker! There is 50 years of material on him. He’s a showy psychopath who gets all the good lines. Obvs course Ledger crushed it! Anyone would have! Are we seriously giving him this Oscar JUST because he died? You’re telling me Michael Shannon wasn’t as explosive? PSH less powerful? RoDo JU not as funny? Josh Brolin less Brolin-y? Can we please ease back on the Heath Ledger pedestooling? Besides, Eckhart was better, anyway.

Who Should Win: Michael Shannon – There wasn’t a more electrifying presence on film this year. Not even for a frame of film.

Who WILL Win: Heath Ledger – Let’s just get this done, so I can stop looking like the asshole disrespecting the dead.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS

I actually LIKE all five of these actresses, yes even Penelope, and think they are all equally deserving of the statue. You have to be pretty effing great to stand out next to PSH and Meryl Streep, but somehow both Amy Adams and Viola Davis pulled it off. Each have quiet, masterful moments, and affect the film in a tangible way when they’re on screen. Unfortunately, they’re going to cancel each other out. Taraji is the dark horse; her work is tender and lovely in Ben Button, but I don’t think she has the one big scene or speech to push her over the top. Marisa. Marisa is not winning. And for one reason: “Two-Time Academy Award Winner Marisa Tomei”. Never. Not in a million years.

Who Should Win: Viola Davis – When you come on for one scene, ten minutes, steal the movie, turn it flip it and reverse it, give it back to the leads and leave quietly? That’s a supporting role. No other actress in this race affected her movie the way Viola did.

Who WILL Win: Penelope Cruz – Doesn’t she seem like she just SHOULD have an Oscar by now? We all agree she was luminous and crazy and awesome in VCB and that her work with Pedro is stunning, but will never be rewarded, so let’s get her Oscar out of the way so I can stop being the asshole who disrespects the woman who can’t seem to learn English after living here for 15 years.

BEST DIRECTOR

Well, this will be quick. Danny Boyle is winning this award. Period. David Fincher probably deserves it from a technical standpoint, as his Ben Button is a masterpiece of craft, though not of storytelling. Stephen Daldry, nominated for every movie he’s ever made ever, will win one of these down the line, so no worry there. Ron Howard is a zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Gus Van Sant did an admirable job documenting the life of Harvey Milk, but the film was far from transcendent.

Who Should Win: Christopher Nolan – Captaining a $200 million ship through the rigors of production, the death of one of this stars and a bleak, cold story into the harbor of massive critical and commercial success, while at the same time actually creating a dynamic, intricately layered film (not movie) is grounds for this award if I’ve ever seen it. Put another way, if James Cameron and Peter Jackson won their awards for doing the same job as Nolan, why shouldn’t he win? Hell, why wasn’t he nominated???

Who WILL Win: Danny Boyle – For all the reasons Slumdog Millionaire is winning Best Picture, Danny Boyle is winning Best Director.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

MILK is winning; the degree of difficulty was too high. WALL-E is getting its dues in the Best Animated Feature category. Frozen River has been seen by nobody. Literally no one has actually seen this movie. Even the director of Happy-Go-Lucky hasn’t seen THAT movie. And no one can understand anything said in In Bruges, enough to decide its true worth.

Who Should Win: Wall-E – writing silence is harder than writing dialogue. And writing robots instead of humans is even harder. But writing robots and silence instead of people and words? The Hardest.

Who WILL Win: MILK

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

Doubt and Frost/Nixon got their lauds on the stage, and don’t an Oscar to say they’re great works of writing. Ben Button is Forrest Gump the sequel and Eric Roth already won an Oscar for the first one. “Kate shows her tits” is not difficult writing, so no dice on The Reader. How can Slumdog Millionaire not win? The elements are outrageous, the cohesion is stunning and the inspiration it gives audience is without equal in this race.

Who Should Win: Doubt won the Pulitzer Prize. An Oscar is a step down.

Who WILL Win: Slumdog Millionaire.

THE UNIMPORTANT RACES:

Animated Feature: WALL-E

Art Direction: Ben Button

Cinematography: Ben Button

Costume Design: The Duchess

Documentary: Man on Wire

Documentary Short: The Witness

Film Editing: The Dark Knight

Foreign Language Film: Waltz With Bashir

Makeup: Ben Button

Music (score): MILK

Music (song): “O Saya” – Slumdog Millionaire

Short Film Animated: Presto

Short Film Live Action: On The Line

Sound Editing: The Dark Knight

Sound Mixing: Ben Button

Visual Effects: Ben Button

Good luck in your Oscar pools!

Bangarang!

BEST PICTURE

- THE CURIOUS CASE OF BENJAMIN BUTTON
- FROST/NIXON
- MILK
- THE READER
- SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Overall Thoughts: Obvious choices in a boring, forgettable year of film. Everyone with eyes and a working brain knew Button, Frost, Milk and Slumdog were locks. The fifth spot was the only real source of suspense; would it go to Rev Road (which most people are indifferent to), The Wrestler (which it should have), The Reader (was it the Nazi’s or Winslet’s Wintits? You decide.), or world-stomper The Dark Knight? My money was on the Bat. But really, it doesn’t matter. None of these films are classics. None of them truly stay with you, none are universally loved. We haven’t had a transcendent Best Picture winner the Lord of the Rings, and the streak won’t end this year.

Biggest Surprise: The Reader. I know few people who have seen it, and even fewer who have an interest to. Going back to the nudity, this is Winslet’s fourth of fifth time dropping top on the big silver, so, as Rosie in A League Of Our Own would say, we can draw her tits from memory. Also, and more importantly, it’s schoolwork. A history lesson. It may be an interesting way to approach a discussion of the Nazi Regime, but in the end, it’s still a historical discussion of the emotional and sociological ramifications of the Nazi regzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Biggest Snub: The Dark Knight. It was the only universally loved movie of the year, usually an arbiter of Oscar success. And it shattered box office records, which is the only way a studio blockbuster ever steals the big one (Titanic, Gladiator, LotR). Also, it’s a pretty good movie. Not sure what went wrong here, though I suspect the continuing trend of nominating heavy dramatic pap had something to do with it. Also, Winslet’s boobs.

BEST DIRECTOR

- David Fincher, BEN BUTTON
- Ron Howard, FROST/NIXON
- Gus Van Sant, MILK
- Stephen Daldry, THE READER
- Danny Boyle, SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Overall Thoughts: The five directors of the five Best Picture nominees are nominated here. And you know what that means: toss-up. And you what that means: count the pre-Oscar awards. And you know what that means: congrats Danny Boyle.

Biggest Surprise: Stephen Daldry. See above for my comments on The Reader. But I will add this: is it really so hard to make a good movie with Ralph Fiennes, Kate Winslet, Nazi’s and pseudo-pedophilia? That’s an easier lay up that Ron Howard had for Frost.

Biggest Snub: Darren Aronofsky. Talk about an anti-lay up. This was a half court shot at the buzzer. To make a film about Mickey Rourke as a broken down professional wrestler, with no budget, no big name co-stars, and Marissa Tomei as your female lead? And then to NAIL it? C’mon! Are we still punishing him for screwing up The Fountain? I thought Bald Jackman was pretty cool.

BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

- Richard Jenkins, THE VISITOR
- Frank Langella, FROST/NIXON
- Sean Penn, MILK
- Brad Pitt, BEN BUTTON
- Mickey Rourke, THE WRESTLER

Overall Thoughts: I like this list of guys. Every performance was stellar, and they all deserve the praise. Nice to see Richard Jenkins get honored after a multi-decade career of playing Hey! It’s That Guy’s. I saw Langella do Nixon on Broadway, any award we want to give him is fine (though I’d prefer him winning only if Whoopi were hosting, which she’s not, so I’m not down for it). Brad did some really difficult work in Ben Button, carried a 3-hour movie to the century mark, and used every trick in the pretty boy book to get the job done. Respect. Sean Penn showed up for work. Nomination. And Mickey Rourke… well, if Mickey Rourke doesn’t win it will be the biggest travesty since Roberto Benigni stomped on Steven Spielberg’s head to get to the podium.

Biggest Surprise: Richard Jenkins. The early frontrunner back in the Spring, but was never in discussion by the Fall. Great performances in little seen indie movies are the hallmark of the Acting categories, but an early release is quite the handicap. Also, his movie was only OK.

Biggest Snub:Someone’s publicists are getting fired. And they would be the ones who used to work for Will Smith and Clint Eastwood.

Biggest Snub 2: RoDoJu in Iron Man. When you single-handedly bring a movie to hugenormous box office numbers it had no reason getting to, we honor you. It’s called the Johnny Depp Corollary. So what happened here? I guess his head-to-toe legit work in Tropic Thunder stole him votes.

BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

- Anne Hathaway, RACHEL GETTING MARRIED
- Angelina Jolie, CHANGELING
- Melissa Leo, FROZEN RIVER
- Meryl Streep, DOUBT
- Kate Winslet, THE READER

Overall Thoughts: Quite the list of boofy brunies. I’ll assume Angelina was nominated because Brad was nominated, and the Academy wanted to drum up ratings for their red carpet show. Meryl hasn’t finished digesting the scenery from Doubt. Melissa Leo is the token Cotillard nominee, and a dangerous sleeper (cause, for the Acting Oscars, with a list of stars, when in doubt vote unknown. See: Brody, Adrien). The race boils down to Hathaway vs. Winslet. After the double Golden Globes win, you think the Academy is really going to deny Kate? Again? And again and again and again?

Biggest Surprise: Angelina Jolie. Cause who even liked Changeling? And who thought her perf was better than the one she gave in A Mighty Heart last year (which wasn’t nominated). Also, it was a showy, overdone, movie trailer performance. The Sean Penn Special. I WANT MY SON BACK! IS DAT MY DADER IN DERE? Same thing.

Biggest Snub: Cate Blanchett. She’s the Oscar nominee gold standard. The Judi Dench special. She breathes, we nominate. Them’s the rules. So where is she? She was every inch Brad’s equal in Ben Button. Her face was the poster! I guess Angie’s big head poster was just more intriguing.

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

- Josh Brolin, MILK
- Robert Downey Jr., TROPIC THUNDER
- Philip Seymour Hoffman, DOUBT
- Heath Ledger, THE DARK KNIGHT
- Michael Shannon, REVOLUTIONARY ROAD

Overall Thoughts: What an AMAZING list of guys and performances. I don’t think anyone is missing. And it’s the EXACT list I wanted. I’d be fine with any of these guys winning, save PSH (he got this nod more for his indicative child-rapey face, then for his acting skill. It’s not hard to look understated and good when Meryl is literally gnawing the scenery around you). And I’d be thrilled if RoDoJu or Mike Shans won. But they won’t, cause we’re in the final leg of the Heath Ledger Memorial Tour. No offense to the dead, but we realize The Joker is the EASIEST part to play that there is, right? This isn’t news to anyone, yes?

Biggest Surprise: Michael Shannon. I will say these words and you will believe me: Michael Shannon gave the best performance by a supporting actor in any movie released last year. Period. When you walk into a scene and hijack it from Kate, Leo and Kathy Bates, that’s a win. Shannon won every minute, second, heartbeat and blink he was onscreen. I am stunned he was recognized, dancing on the walls for the nod, and sighing in frustration that Heath is going to steal this from him.

Biggest Snub: None. (Though I would have been pleased to see Tom Cruise get some love for his work in Tropic Thunder. My rule of thumb is this: Tom Cruise ignores his Scientology brethren, dons a fat suit, drops mega F-bombs and dances to Flo Rida in a movie, you give him an Oscar nomination. Period.)

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

- Amy Adams, DOUBT
- Penelope Cruz, VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA
- Viola Davis, DOUBT
- Taraji P. Henson, BEN BUTTON
- Marisa Tomei, THE WRESTLER

Overall Thoughts: Always my favorite race of any year, due to it’s complete and utter unpredictability. I like all of these nominees and LOVE that none of them is the clear winner. As it always is. You can’t take your eyes off of Viola Davis for her ten minutes in Doubt (even when snot is grossly falling down her face). Amy Adams brought joy and beautiful confusion as a naïve Nun in Doubt. Taraji was sweet like only someone named Taraji can be. The Tomei redefined her legacy. And, and I can’t believe I’m saying this, Penelope Cruz, who is still box office poison, and STILL can’t speak a word of English, was great (and will win).

Biggest Surprise: Marisa Tomei. Maybe the Academy is retroactively firming up Tomei’s career to make her My Cousin Vinny win seem less strange. Maybe it’s an apology for ignoring her breathless (nude) work in last year’s Before the Devil Knows Your Dead. Or maybe they thought she just deserved it for convincing us that she could look at Mickey Rourke and be sexually attracted. I don’t know and I don’t care. I’m just glad the Tomei is here.

Biggest Snub: Beyonce, Cadillac Records. It would have killed the Academy to give her the J-Hud nod? She would have performed Single Ladies for free! And Halo, too, maybe. C’mon, that’s worth letting Amy Adams wait an another year.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

- FROZEN RIVER
- HAPPY-GO-LUCKY
- IN BRUGES
- MILK
- WALL-E

Overall Thoughts: What an odd, uninteresting list of bound words. Not even cinephiles can say they saw both Frozen River and Happy-Go-Lucky. And can someone please explain In Bruges to me like I’m a fourth grader. How can we know it was a good screenplay when you could only understand every eighth word Colin Farrell said? That movie could have been about Nazi Ghosts and I wouldn’t have known it. Milk? Sure, I guess. But how do you not give it to Wall-E? With it’s stunning, silent first act and lead characters who can’t speak?

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

- BEN BUTTON
- DOUBT
- FROST/NIXON
- THE READER
- SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE

Overall Thoughts: Why does this feel like a list of Tony Award Nominees? Ben Button was too divergent from its source material, and the movie had nothing to say that Forrest Gump didn’t cover (better) 15 years ago. Doubt already won the Pulitzer Prize; it needs to win an Oscar, too? Frost/Nixon had its glory on The Great White Way, as well. The Reader is a Tuesday Morning 1st period history lecture from Mr. White. Which leaves us with Slumdog Millionaire, who somehow found inspiration and beauty in an Indian version of Who Wants To Be A Millionaire (without the help of Regis!). Slumdog for the win, and that’s my final answer.

Here are my early predictions: Slumdog, Rourke, Winslet, Ledger, Penelope Cruz’s impenetrable accent, Wall-E and Slumdog once again

Can’t wait to see how Hugh Jackman’s biceps fair hosting the Oscars. Should be a buff, boofy show!

Tell me what you all thought of the nominations by leaving a comment. Did your favorite films get recognized? Was your favorite actor snubbed? Let me know…

Bangarang!

The Scene: The Jay’s Oscar Party

The Players: The Jay, Random Guests, Renee Zellweger’s BitchFace.

INT. THE JAY’S APT – OSCAR NIGHT

Red Carpet coverage of the 2008 Oscars is in full swing, and so is the party. Random pretty people mill about, drinking wine and dishing about celeb gossip.

“Did you hear Colin Firth ask if way-dead Adrienne Shelley was in the house at the Spirits?”

“That Wanker Darcy!”

The Jay is hosting like a champion, workin’ the room, making sure everyone is having a good time.

Hot Chick At Party: Do you have any Excedrin or extra-strength Tylenol?

The Jay: Gee, I think all I got is acetylsalicylic acid, generic. See, I can get six hundred tablets of that for the same price as three hundred of a name brand. That makes good financial sense, good advice…

/The Jay brings a platter of meat into the living room

The Jay: Hey, this is real smoked salmon from Nova Scotia, Canada, $24.95 a pound! It only cost me $14.12 after tax, though.

/The Jay walks up to a random guest, speaks sotto voce

The Jay: I’m givin’ this whole thing as a promotional expense, that’s why I invited clients instead of friends. You havin’ a good time, Mark?

/The Jay heads across the room, greeting other guests

The Jay: How you doing? Why don’t you have some of the brie, it’s at room temperature! You think it’s too warm in here for the brie?

Tall Woman at Party: The Jay, I’m going home.

The Jay: Aw, don’t leave yet. Well, listen, maybe if we start dancing other people will join in!

Tall Woman at Party: Okay!

/The Jay and the Tall Woman dance. It’s hot.

The doorbell rings.

The Jay: Oh, don’t move, I just gotta get the door. Ted! Annette! I’m glad you could come, how you doin’, give me your coats. Everybody, this is Ted and Annette Fleming! Ted has a small carpet cleaning business in receivership; Annette’s drawing a salary from a deferred bonus from two years ago! They got fifteen thousand left on the house at eight percent.

/The Jay throws the guests’ coats in the closet, oblivious that Renee Zellweger is being interviewed on the Red Carpet.

The Jay: So, does anybody wanna play Parcheesi?

Something odd appears on the TV.

The Jay: (grinning) Okay, who brought the BitchFace?

Bangarang!

Oh look, the Academy Awards are o-zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Wuh? Huh? What I miss? Did Daniel Day-Lewis drink a milkshake?

Yikes, that was forgettable. It says a lot about the quality of the telecast when the best thing all night was the fake montage for binoculars and Hottie Mirren saying balls in Spanish. Why couldn’t Jon Stewart have secretly started working before the strike ended? Would anyone have really minded? At least we would have been saved the painful Nintendo Wii bit and the obnoxious Bee Movie bullshit; and maybe Amy Adams would have gotten some freaking Debbie Allen-style SUPPORT during her musical number! That being said, I would totally vote for Gaydolf Titler.

On the predicting front, I went seven for eight on the big races, and also nailed Animated Feature, Score, Costume Design, Editing, Cinematography, both of the Sound Awards and Jon Stewart’s B- perf (and won my party pool, btw). I biffed on OG Song (too much love for Amy Adams, though the Once song was pretty), VFX (guess the Academy loves hot Polar on Polar bear action as much as me), and Best Documentary. I was happy about No Country as Best Picture; my first true favorite since American Beauty in ’99, and was impressed that the Academy recommended so many worthy performances. A solid year for Oscar.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t mention that my Mom nailed the Cotillard win the moment she stepped on the red carpet. “That’s a Best Actress dress,” she said. “Just like when Julia wore the black and white dress in 2000.” Now you know where I get my mad predicting skillz.

So you know the drill: check any of the kagillion other pop blogs for a full recap or liveblog, cause you’re not getting one here. I have what I always have: the lowdown on what the stars were talking about on the Red Carpet.

Things Overheard on the Oscars Red Carpet…

Jack Nicholson: What am I even doing here? There’s not one Best Actress nominee here worth nailing. I already tagged Christie, and I don’t do Frenchies or pregnant chicks. Who in the hell is Laura Linney? And this Juno girl? Am I allowed to bang children now? Is that cool? What was it Roman used to say about that…

Daniel Day-Lewis: I will go Bill the Butcher on the next dippy journo who asks me about milkshakes. I will smear his blood on my boudoir. Two coats! Oh hi Roeper. Yes yes you drink my milkshake, ha ha!

Helen Mirren: The Queen demands you bring her James McAvoy. Place him in my private study. I shall tend to him shortly…

Hal Holbrook: What? Who? Where am I? I thought I was going to the Opera tonight? Is this a Designing Woman on my arm? Delta, is that you? … I am old.

Diablo Cody: Has anyone seen my date, Bam Bam?

Katherine Heigl: I am such an international movie star. It’s only a matter of time before I’m winning one of these bitches. /smokes a carton of cigarettes, is obnoxious

Ellen Page: Cute words cute words cute words LOVE ME(!), derf, I’m wearing Connie’s! I’m Rowr! But cute!

Cameron Diaz: It’s 5 o’clock, did I miss the free crack giveaway?

Jennifer Garner: So I didn’t get a nomination, that’s OK. That’s fine. They’re just jealous because I get to go home and fuck Ben Affleck. That a REAL honor! Just ask The Jay.

The Jay: True story.

Tilda Swinton: I heard it might rain today, so thankfully I remembered to bring my garbage bag poncho. Phew, that could have been embarrassing!

Javier Bardem: Hola, yo soy swarthy swarthy swarthy! /instantaneously knocks up Amy Adams just by looking at her

Jessica Alba: If I had known I’d get invited to the Oscars just for getting knocked up and making four or five bad movies in a year, I would have started years ago. Oh wait, I did…

Johnny Depp: /mumbles incoherently, immediately called the frontrunner for next year’s Best Actor race

Amy Adams: I swear to Jesus if they send me up on that stage by myself without any backdrop whatsoever and I have to sing that ridiculous song while waving my hands like an idiot, I’m gonna sick Anton Chigurh on bitches. I’m the new Julie Andrews, dammit!

Tommy Lee Jones: What’s all this wrassle frassle commotion? Dagnamit, this is hogwarsh! I ain’t got time for this. I have horses to tend to! And things in the distance to look weary at! I’m grisled!

Nicole Kidman: Chandelier delivery! Who ordered the chandelier?

John Travolta: Ch-Ch-Chia!

Bangarang!

BEST PICTURE

- ATONEMENT
- JUNO
- MICHAEL CLAYTON
- NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
- THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Will Win: No Country For Old Men - Not as socially retarded as There Will Be Blood, just as third-act annoying as Atonement but with better bonafides, a story structure Michael Clayton would mercy kill a thai hooker for, Juno is a comedy and comedy’s never win. The film definitely has it’s problems: the ending is too abrupt, it takes too long to figure out that the movie is about Tommy Lee Jones and not Josh Brolin, Woody’s character gets a short shrift, Anton Chigurh is a hair too over the top and there needed to be at least 10 minutes more of Kelly MacDonald talking in her deliciously cute Texas twang, but it’s a beautiful, lyrical film that lingers in your mind far after the lights come up. Moreover, the Academy usually doesn’t honor films like this. Ten years ago this would be a gimme for Atonement, but after Crash and Million Dollar Baby, the Academy is OK with giving its Big Kahuna to a dark flick. That may be the only good thing the career of Paul Haggis has ever wrought.

Should Win: Juno - The populist part of me says that whichever film is the clear cut national favorite should win the award. Juno more than doubles the domestic box office of all the other nominees, and I believe comes close to eclipsing the TOTAL B.O. of the other films COMBINED. It earned that money not off of star power or a huge marketing campaign, but from word of mouth and audience love. Hell, even the soundtrack is kicking ass. But not unlike the Presidential Race, the Academy belongs to the Industry not to the people, which is why The Coen Bros. should start prepping their speech and Juno can go on to save the rainforest set to the soundtrack of The Mars Volta.

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BEST DIRECTOR

- Julian Schnabel, THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY
- Jason Reitman, JUNO
- Tony Gilroy, MICHAEL CLAYTON
- Joel and Ethan Coen, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
- Paul Thomas Anderson, THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Will Win: The Coen Bros. - For all the reasons that No Country deserves Best Picture, these guys deserve Best Director. They hit their creative peak in their 11th movie, delivering a powerhouse crime movie that is as intense as any thriller in a decade! They made Texas look interesting without football, resurrected Josh Brolin, got Tommy Lee Jones out of woman-in-jeopardy thriller hell, and gave forth unto this world the 2nd greatest movie villain of the modern era. And for doing that, well, they get an award.

Should Win: Paul Thomas Anderson - It seems easy to deliver a good movie when you have Daniel Day-Lewis as your lead. But, the task gets exceedingly more difficult when it’s a three hour movie about oil drilling at the turn of the century which has no love story or any hottie to speak off, has a villain as a the hero, and a whiny preacher kid as the antagonist, and there are whole chunks of film where no one speaks. It’s a miracle the film was even watchable. PTA should win this thing simply for getting me to finally forgive him for Magnolia.

Should Also Win: Ben Affleck - When you’re a reviled leading man chased off the screen by the entire movie-going public and then turn around and make a gripping detective movie where your mongoloid kid brother is acting against Ed Harris and Morgan Freeman and pulling it off, critics say your depiction of Boston was more spot-on than Scorsese’s and you give the inside track for Best Supporting Actress Oscar race to a comPLETE nobody, you DESERVE some recognition. Also, was the bomb in Phantoms, yo!

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BEST ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE

- George Clooney, MICHAEL CLAYTON
- Daniel Day-Lewis, THERE WILL BE BLOOD
- Johnny Depp, SWEENEY TODD
- Tommy Lee Jones, IN THE VALLEY OF ELAH
- Viggo Mortensen, EASTERN PROMISES

Will Win: DDL – Let’s say you have a nomination, and I have a nomination, and I have Daniel Day-Lewis. See here, that’s Daniel Day Lewis. My Daniel Day-Lewis reaches all the way across the room, goes right into your Oscar ceremony and starts to drink up your award. I drink your Academy Award. I DRINK IT UP!

Should Win: DDL – DRAINAGE!!!!!! Drainage, my dear boy! (See above.)

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BEST ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE

- Cate Blanchett, ELIZABETH: THE GOLDEN AGE
- Julie Christie, AWAY FROM HER
- Marion Cotillard, LA VIE EN ROSE
- Laura Linney, THE SAVAGES
- Ellen Page, JUNO

Will Win: Who gives a shit? Ugh, fine, Julie Christie, but only because old actors give fun, rambling, incoherent speeches. Just ask Peter O’Toole. Beyond that, nobody can even pronounce Marion Cotillard’s name, nobody saw The Savages, Cate Blanchett didn’t win for this perf the first time and she was better in the Dylan movie, anyway, and Ellen Page was, honest to blog, not as good as you remember. Sure, she was charming, for shizzle, but the risk factor on that movie was SO LOW. All she had to do was show up on set, get into wardrobe and not stutter and she was coming off brilliant. You’re saying two hundred other acerbic teen actors couldn’t have done just as good a job? Hell, I’ll give you one to start: Alia Shakwat, Michael Cera’s cousin crush Maebe from Arrested Development.

Should Win: Since we can’t give an Oscar to Megan Fox’s tummy, or to Marisa Tomei’s great older chick boobs, and Angelina Jolie was great, but in a movie too boring to sit through, I’ll say I wouldn’t complain if Amy Adams got recognized for her ultra-charming perf in Enchanted. And I personally LOVED Keira Knightley in Atonement, but then again, I have actual taste.

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BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

- Casey Affleck, THE ASSASSINATION OF JESSE JAMES…
- Javier Bardem, NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
- Hal Holbrook, INTO THE WILD
- Phillip Seymour Hoffman, CHARLIE WILSON’S WAR
- Tom Wilkinson, MICHAEL CLAYTON

Will Win: Javier Bardem - Let me answer that question by asking you to watch this short clip without crapping your pants.

Should Win: In any other year I’d give it to Tom Wilkinson, who gave the type of thoroughly crazy performance this category was MADE for, or to PSH, who was the best thing in a bad movie (always a good reason to give someone this award), but no, this year is all about Anton Chigurh. Trust me, friend-o.

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BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE

- Cate Blanchett, I’M NOT THERE
- Ruby Dee, AMERICAN GANGSTER
- Saoirse Ronan, ATONEMENT
- Amy Ryan, GONE BABY GONE
- Tilda Swinton, MICHAEL CLAYTON

Will Win: Tilda Swinton - The Michael Clayton groundswell needs to be justified somwhere, and this is the ticket. Tilda is legit good in the flick, is the reason Clooney comes off well in the closing scene and has been a very good actress for a very long time. Also, people know who she is. Can you name one other movie or TV show Amy Ryan has EVER been in? The Academy cannot give her this award when her director wasn’t nominated. It just doesn’t make sense.

Should Win: Amy Ryan - The Best Supporting Actress race is always unpredictable because there are no clear rules for winning. They like to award fun performances and goofy actresses (Tomei, Mira Sorvino), kids (Anna Paquin), newcomers (J-Huds), established stars who don’t have the drawing power to get a Best Actress win (Catherine Zeta-Jones), squinty chicks (Renee), and Kim Basinger. So why not give it to Amy Ryan? She was fantastic, after all.

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BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY

- JUNO
- LARS AND THE REAL GIRL
- MICHAEL CLAYTON
- RATATOUILLE
- THE SAVAGES

Will Win: Juno - The copy writes itself. “Former Stripper Wins Academy Award For Writing”. Only Hollywood could make that shit up and call it cool.

Should Win: Juno - That being said, Lars and the Real Girl is slight, Michael Clayton is a mess, Ratatouille is charming because of it’s animation not its writing and again, people, NO ONE has seen The Savages. Hell, I’d bet dimes to dollars the majority of America thinks its a documentary about the kid from Wonder Years. As much as Juno is cutesy and small, it’s also hella charming, very confident in its story, creates interesting, original characters and has the best exchange in any movie all year.

Juno: Cause you’re, like, the coolest person I’ve ever met, and you don’t even have to try, you know…

Bleeker: I try real hard, actually.

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BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY

- ATONEMENT
- AWAY FROM HER
- THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY
- NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN
- THERE WILL BE BLOOD

Will Win: No Country For Old Men - It’s the most classicly well-written film of the year. No more needs be said.

Should Win: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - Because it was the fifth film of the series and I felt like I finally GOT the world (even though I’m a Potter Head), because it successfully condensed a horridly angsty 800 page book into a gripping two hour entertainment and because the climax was Hans Gruber dueling with Drexl Spivey! “Now I know I’m pretty, but I’m not as pretty as a couple of AVADA KEDAVRA’S!”

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The unimportant categories:

Best Cinematography: There Will Be Blood

Best Art Direction: Atonement

Best Hair: Patrick Dempsey (Tom Hank’s Hair boos, gets wildly drunk at the Governer’s Ball and hits on Miley Cyrus)

Best Costume Design: Elizabeth, The Golden Age

Best Sound: The Bourne Ultimatum

Best Editing: The Bourne Ultimatum

Best Sound Editing: No Country For Old Men

Best VFX: Transformers

Best Douchebag: Jack Nicholson (angered for being snubbed for his mailed-in work in The Bucket List)

Best Make Up: Pirates 3

Best Foreign Language Film: Mongol

Best Cleavage: Katherine Heigl (Hey, I hate her but I’m not IMMUNE!)

Best Animated Movie: Ratatouille

The Host – Jon Stewart: Solid B-

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Those are the picks to win the pools. Good luck kids, and have a great Oscar show!

(NOTE: My annual Things Overheard on the Oscars Red Carpet will be up first thing Monday Morning.)

Bangarang!