The Jay http://www.thejay.com TheJay.com is pop culture from inside the bubble, providing fresh and funny commentary on the world of entertainment. Fri, 16 May 2008 07:53:22 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en The First Idol Matrix Was A Perfect Show The Idol Matrix Part 1! The Idol Matrix Part 2! INT. AMERICAN IDOL PRODUCTION OFFICE - DAY Simon Cowell stands, staring out a window at the American Idol stage below, shimmering with brilliant stage lights. SIMON COWELL: Have you ever stood and stared at it, David? Marveled at its beauty. Its ... http://www.thejay.com/2008/05/16/idol-matrix-perfect-show/ Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 3 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale I could not have been more bored by last night's episode. I wrote a positive piece on Sarah Jessica Parker (!) instead of giving Idol my full attention. And without even looking at the screen the entire time, I was STILL rolling my eyes from the ... http://www.thejay.com/2008/05/14/grading-american-idol-s7-top3/ You Can Take A Horse To Water, But You Can’t Make Her Dress Properly FREEZE!!! Why? Did I do something wrong? What... What? WHAT is that? Huh? Is there a bee on me? ... no. There's a FUCKING BUSH on you! Oh, that. Yeah, it's my hat. Fab, right? .... I wore it too piss off that cow, Catrall! Yeah, but... And ... http://www.thejay.com/2008/05/13/sjp-awful-headdress/ Other Things Tom Cruise Was Wrong About It’s not often that a celebrity admits when they’re wrong. Scandals come and go, but count how many times you’ve actually heard Lindsay or Paris admit the wrongness of their actions or words. You can probably count the number on your thumb. And even then, the detraction ... http://www.thejay.com/2008/05/12/things-cruise/ The Idol Matrix Can’t Tell You Who You Are INT. ELEVATOR Davids Cook and Archuleta ride the elevator on their way to see Paula Abdul. The idea of learning one's fate begins to weigh upon David Archuleta with a steadily growing unease. DAVID ARCHULETA: So is this the same Paula Abdul that made the, uh, prophecy? DAVID COOK: ... http://www.thejay.com/2008/05/08/idol-matrix-visiting-paula/ Grading the American Idol Season Seven Top 4 On The TiVo Multi-Bloop Scale By all accounts, this season has been a shamble of epic proportions. Dull contestants, lackluster mentors, the dreadful Beatles fortnight, Paula's psychic/psycho trainwreck from Top 5 night, Randy's continued slide into prickitude, and the general agreement that the two Davids will be in the finals and everything that comes ... http://www.thejay.com/2008/05/07/grading-american-idol-s7-top4/ Grammy Katie Plays With Little Suri OHH! OHH! My little bubbala! I love ya! You're precious! You love your Bubba? Enh? You love Bubba Katie? You are such a dear! The way I kvell about you at the Synagogue? They haven't seen kvelling like this! ... http://www.thejay.com/2008/05/06/grandma-katie-with-suri/